Aug 31, 2006

No Sleep 'til Brooklyn!

I've been toying with the idea of moving to New York for over a year now, and I think I'm closer than ever to actually going through with it.

And I am terrified.

Looking at places on the apartment sites is like cruising territory in Bangladesh. I have no clue where anything is.

And I always assume that if it's less than a thousand bucks a month it has to be a crummy apartment. If anyone from New York could give me any advice, that would be great. The places I've looked have been on Broadway, and they're like 900 bucks a month. I don't know. It just seems kind of sketchy.


Iran Insists on Furthering its Nuclear Program

What a shame. Even the IAEA has stepped in and called for a stop to Iran's uranium enrichment.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President, refused.

The Times Online reports that the deadline passed yesterday, and early indications point to the fact that Iran has not yet halted its program.

The Times also says that

In a confidential report obtained by The Times, it also listed numerous cases of non-co-operation by the Iranian authorities with atomic inspectors. It also reported finding samples of highly enriched uranium at a technical university suspected of conducting military research work.

The findings, set out by Dr Mohamed ElBaradei, the director-general of the IAEA, were seized on by the Bush Administration as evidence that Iran is trying secretly to build a nuclear weapon and should now be punished.

I will not, however, jump on the Bush Administration and make scathing remarks. This is the time for a real look at what's going on, and what kind of action we as a nation should take.

Sure could use some of that worldwide respect from a few years ago, though. Mmmm. Hurts. Sure does.

For the Gamer in You

I've got yet another blog, Video Game Graveyard, if you want to check it out. I just started it up, so there's not much to it.

Free Music...with Advertising and no iPod Support?

What are these guys thinking? An article on today states that a new service will allow music listeners - I hate that term - to download free music without paying a monthly surcharge.

The only drawback is that the music can't be transferred to the iPod. Oh, and the songs will feature advertising. But, even if you get the songs downloaded and don't care if you can download them to your iPod, the songs still can't be burned to CD.

What a waste.

Student is Allowed to Wear Anti-Bush Shirt to School

An appeals court yesterday ruled in favor of a student who had been banned from wearing an anti-Bush t-shirt to school in Vermont, reports.

Guiles, who as a seventh grader in 2004 wore the T-shirt to Williamstown Middle High School in Vermont once a week for two months after purchasing it at an anti-war rally, appealed the case after a lower court ruled in favour of the school.

The school argued the images were offensive because they undermined the school's anti-drug message.

The T-shirt read "George W Bush" and "Chicken-Hawk-In-Chief" with a picture of the president's face wearing a helmet superimposed on the body of a chicken.

The back of the T-shirt showed lines of cocaine, a martini glass and smaller print that accused Bush of being a "Crook", "Cocaine Addict", AWOL", "Draft Dodger" and "Lying Drunk Driver".

The court ruled that, while it used inflammatory images and language, it was not patently offensive.

What kills me is that the school said that it violated their anti-drug policy. The shirt wasn't condoning or uplifting drug use. It was actually disdaining it, much like the D.A.R.E. posters we had lining the halls of our school. I'm glad that good sense won out.

Greg Maddux Wins 330th Game

Greg Maddux, former Atlanta Brave, won his 330th game last night.

Congratulations, Greg.

Aug 30, 2006

Family Guy Project a VERY Bad Idea

See, I had this idea in which I would list all of the cultural references in Family Guy, all of them, and call it the Freakin' Family Guy Project.

The good news is, I was totally excited about it.

The bad news is, several web sites have already done the exact same thing. Oh well. It was a good idea (when a million other people thought of it).

Oh, and this is my 201st post!

A quote

"Educated dissent is the highest form of patriotism."

It may seem ridiculous, but it's true.

Oh, and I didn't steal this from Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson never actually said it. Howard Zinn did.

But I changed the quote to fit what I believe is correct. Blind or ignorant dissent can result in chaos. Read this.

Educated, however, does not account for everything. But it's the best I could come up with.

Ted Stevens - Senator, Husband, Jerk

According to the Daily Kos - the source article of which is on TP Muckraker - Ted Stevens (R-AK)

held up a bill that would create a free, searchable database of government contracts and grants because he was worried about the proposal's price tag, his spokesman told me this afternoon. Its cost has been estimated at $15 million.

Senator Tom Coburn is the sponsor of the bill and

Sen. Coburn's spokesman John Hart questioned Stevens' motive. "The only reason to oppose this bill is if he [Stevens] has something to hide," Hart said.

Ted Stevens has a history of Pork-Barreling, and this only seems to prove the point of why we need such a database in our lives.

The Congressional Budget Office has calculated that Coburn's proposal would cost "$4 million in 2007 and about $15 million [total] over the 2007-2011 period." By comparison, Stevens -- who's been called the "King of Pork" by one government watchdog -- was recently publicly lambasted for his appropriation of more than $200 million for the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere," which would link Ketchikan, Alaska (population 8,900) with its airport on Gravina Island (population 50).

It's insulting.

*Bum *Bum...Reporting from the Girls' Room. *Bow *Bow!

You just have to read this story to believe it. I don't even have any commentary.

Classic NES Video Clip of the Week: Friday the 13th

This is a small clip from the NES game, "Friday the 13th", though it could have been called just about anything, since it has only a passing resemblance to the movies (i.e. the title screen).

...And here's someone beating it in 3 minutes.

BP is in Trouble Again...Maybe

BP is under investigation for tampering with oil and gas prices. Go figures. Is that why I have to eat my own hair to survive? That's a bad poor joke.

Yeesh! U2 Greatest Live Band?

U2, I think, is the most overrated band in the history of music (sorry, Jack Johnson). That's why it's surprising that SPIN has awarded them the title of Best Live Band.

Well, it's not surprising. It's just unfortunate. If you think U2 is a great band, whatever, that's fine.

But a lot of people think that U2 is more than a band and Bono is more of a, I don't know, prophet of modern times, than just an arrogant prick of a lead singer. "Oh, look what he's doing for starving children! He's such a saint."

That he spent Thousands of dollars to transport a hat says many contradicting things about the man.

I don't have a problem with Bono. I just dislike when people think of rock starts as "more than" anything. He's a good singer, but he's taken himself to a whole new level, that's not cool.

Get back to work.

Aug 29, 2006

Rumsfeld is Blathering Again

Somebody should really get this guy to shut up. He's starting to make the Bush Administration look stupid, and that's quite a feat.

This article reports on how badly the media is reporting the war in Iraq and blah blah blah. I don't think he even knows what he's saying these days.

P.S. Where are the roses, Don?

P.S. Where are all the people greeting us as liberators?

What are the Emmys?

If anybody needed a reason why the Emmys are so lame, here it is.


Iran President Challenges U.N. - Scary!

Who does this guy think he is, challenging the UN's authority like that? I don't know that a leader who does such a thing can be considered sane. It's like career suicide. The rest of the world is going to think he's a

Oh, wait. Bush did the exact same thing when he wanted to go to war in 2003. Different circumstances, but still. Everyone else thinks we're terrorists.

And DOES the UN have that much authority? Should it? What are going to be the ramifications of this exchange?

Write a 2-3 page essay on the topic and have it ready for the test on Tuesday.

Read an article right here.

Here's a short quote from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (he's the president of Iran, guys!):

"Mr. Annan, too, has to move within the framework of international regulations. No one has a special right or advantage," he said.

True. But...

"The U.S. and Britain are the source of many tensions," he said. "At the Security Council, where they have to protect security, they enjoy the veto right. If anybody confronts them, there is no place to take complaints to."

"This (veto right) is the source of problems of the world," he said. "It is an insult to the dignity, independence, freedom and sovereignty of nations."

Hmmm...He makes a good point. Is 'yo mama' a correct response? It's all I got.

However, If I am allowed a retort in the form of a chilling quote by, you guess it, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad:

Thanks to the blood of the martyrs, a new Islamic revolution has arisen and the Islamic revolution of 1384 will, if God wills, cut off the roots of injustice in the world*.


Hocking My Schwagg

I've added new items to the CafePress store.

Top Fifty Most Viewed Wikipedia Pages

I would definitely think that "pornography" would have been a lot higher on this list. Oh well. I guess most people just can't spell it, huh?

There are a few anomalies in the list right now - JonBenet at #2, especially - but I suppose that just comes with the territory. People's tastes change everyday.


Aug 28, 2006

Working Cartoon

This is just a test

Here is the cartoon I'm working on. It's only in Paint, but I think it looks pretty cool. Maybe it will eventually become my "style." And see, it's not big enough to read, so I'm going ot have to try again. Damn.

Why I Don't Have 100 Entries Today

I'm working on a web cartoon, and it's taking up a lot of my time (along with the t-shirt store and the book and everything else), so I don't have a million posts for you today.

Maybe tomorrow. And hopefully the 'toon will be done.


The blog is...awfully white right now. I'm trying to play around with it. The color schemes get old to me very quickly, so I just go crazy with trying to change it and it ends up becoming all crazy and stuff. Just bear with me. I'm trying to do this thing on a shoestring, after all.

Besides, it's the content, right?

Zombie Site of the Week: Penny Arcade

Okay, so this is cheating, but I've got to highlight the "Dead Rising" parody-ish thing that's going on over at Penny Arcade. It's called Armadeaddon, and I've got you a front row link to the first comic in the series.

If you don't know, Penny Arcade is a gaming site that doesn't take itself too seriously (Phew!).

And then there's the zombies.

America's Drunkest Cities: We Didn't Make It

After all of the hub-ub we had here in Athens last week over the coupon books, we get left out of the Forbes list of the Five Drunkest cities in America.

What a shame.

But, the winners are:

1) Milwaukee, WI
2) Boston, MA
3) Minneapolis, MN
4) Austin, TX
5) Columbus, OH


Aug 27, 2006

Entourage Season Finale *spoiler*

The third season of Entourage ended tonight with *spoiler warning* Vince firing Ari. It was one hell of a cliffhanger, but...what's going to happen next? I don't know that I can handle the wait until the next season.

It's not like with the Sopranos, where I can wait. That may sound repetitive, but it's different. Tony Soprano isn't my friend. I can't have a beer with Pauly.

Turtle, however, I could definitely hang out with, along with the other guys. Not to make this too wistful, but I feel like the summer's over and my friends are moving away for awhile. Cheesy, I know, but I feel more of a connection to the Entourage guys than the characters in other shows. Maybe it's because I'm more like them - or like to think that I'm more like them - and I don't want to see them go away for awhile.

Does anyone ever get like that about their shows too?

Spider Man 3 Trailer

I just finished watching Spider-Man 2, and it put me in the mood, baby, for a menoige-a-trois.

The Spider-Man 3 trailer looks awesome, by the way.

(Some of)The Worst Vids on Youtube

I often highlight some of the best videos Youtube has to offer. A lot of you probably think that it's a very easy task, that I can just pick good stuff at random. No, no, no, little buddies. There's a lot of BAD stuff to sort through before you get to the creamy filling. Here's some of the worst.


*6,000 people have watched this!

Basically, anything with babies is crap.

You probably shouldn't watch any of these videos, just to save your time. I watched them and - by god - that should be plenty.

Guitar Hero Right in Your Living Room

I'd like to think that I stay up on the technology end of the world, but Guitar Hero - a game for the PS2 - slipped through my fingers, partly because I don't own a PS2 and partly because I've been too broke to buy it.

Of course, I've known about the game forever; I just haven't had a chance to play it.

Until today.

The local Best Buy had a demo of it out on the retail floor today, and I jammed along to Joan Jett's "I Love Rock and Roll". After getting booed off the "stage" for trying to play "Cowboys from Hell", I put the guitar down and slinked away (the sad thing is I can play the song on regular guitar).

But, I plan on buying my very own copy tomorrow. Since most of the videos of GH on Youtube suck, I found an IGN report on the sequel. Now I'm torn as to whether or not I should just wait until November to get Guitar Hero 2. Hmmm.

Aug 25, 2006

Dr. Strangelove - or How I Came to Hate Or How... Subtopics

In the beginning, it was funny. Or at least it was mildly witty, and everybody got it. Now, however, it has just gone too far, and I feel an boligation to call the phrase out.

Sorry, ...or how I, you are no longer relevant. We don't mind having you around, but you should hang out in the back of the party, quietly sipping wine with "A _____ in three parts" and "A _____ from the ______ ".

That's it.

I know you can't help it. I know it's not your fault, but you've got to tell all of your performance artist buddies to cut it out. They've done entirely too much name-dropping and because they're bereft of original ideas, they've used you to push forward their crappy bits.

Used you, ...or how I. You've got to "wake up", "smell the coffee", and "get those men out of your hair."

You'll be able to respect yourself if you do.

Time to Get Real

No, it's not another season of the Real World.

Real Time with Bill Maher returns tonight with a new episode, so don't miss out. LIVE! Fridays at 11 p.m. on HBO.

Is Iran the Real Threat?

I don't draw political cartoons very well. In fact, I don't draw them at all, but I wish I could make an exception in this case. It seems as though Iraq has been the red herring in the search for weapons of mass destruction and that Iran is the real bogeyman.


I don't know what I would draw, but it would probably involve some sort of stinky, half-destroyed fish with no nuclear weapons and the writing on said fish would say Iraq or something equally unclever.

Because we're still not sure about whether or not Iran is the real deal or another fake in a long line of horrible "smoking gun" scenarios. An article in the Viet Nam News today says that Iran is being coy about its nuclear program.

What? Is Iran Britney Spears talking about her problems with KFed?

F&%$ing Internet

Sorry I didn't post anything last night. My internet got all jacked up, so it might be another day or two before I post anything of any significance. Hang in there, guys.

Aug 23, 2006

Visit the Store

I've created a Cafepress store, so visit it at

It'll make you feel better!

First Logo

I've been trying my hand at developing logos, and here is my first attempt.

[Hint: It's supposed to look grainy.]

The Hole in the Ozone Has Stabilized - Jinx Protocol Suspects the Eighties

According to the Guardian UK , scientists have discovered that the hole in the ozone above Antartica has become more stable, leading me to believe that it was actually the 1980s which did the greatest harm to our embryonic life circle.

Think of how much damage Poison, Motley Crue, Warrant, Ratt, Cinderella, and Slaughter alone did to the poor thing. Those bands had to have been using a case to a case and a half per day of that stuff to keep their hair from falling. Is that a fair estimate?

Scientists want to say that it's the fact that we use fewer CFCs, but I know the truth: good taste prevailed and these bands just had to go away or give up the hair spray to cling to the Seattle sound.

Mother Nature works in mysterious ways.

Classic Video Game Clip of the Week: Super Mario World

The next clip may not seem so impressive to you, but I appreciate it because I spent hundreds of hours playing this game and couldn't beat it in half an hour, much less twelve minutes.

Aug 22, 2006

Rhode Island Basically Bans Mail-In Rebate

Maybe because it's the smallest state.

Why can't this sort of thing happen in Georgia?

I despise mail-in rebates. You go into the purchase thinking, "Hey! This is a great deal. I should have no problem getting this money back." Then, you go out and spend the money you thought you would get back and forget to do the rebate altogether and be doubly-screwed.

It's "Strategery" on the part of the ad companies, I tell you. Stupid TiVo. I want to get it, but it's 219.99 before the mail-in rebate. You must have to jump through hoops laced with arsenic to get the thing, because the after price is 69.99. Who wouldn't do that? Oh well.

Wanna See Something Cool?

I have never been able to solve one side of a rubik's cube, much less the entire less than half a minute.

The E! Channel Asks for Re-Enactment of Dimebag's Murder

In an article on KNAC cleverly titled Pantera Publicist Bitch-Slaps the E! Channel, it is revealed that the E! channel, with such interesting programming as the True Hollywood Story of Paris Hilton, asked for licensing to re-enact the murder of former Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell for a segment entitled, "25 Most Chilling Hollywood Murders."

As you can imagine, the publicist said no.

Here is the full quote:

Hi Beau. I¹m leaving John¹s comments in cause he¹s a nice guy and I know this was difficult for him to send on through. I¹m also blind copying a whole list of folks who will most likely copy a whole other list of folks until maybe this spreads like a good email should and end up on 100,000 websites to show the world what a collective bunch of tasteless morons you all are.

Dime¹s birthday is this coming Sunday and your timing couldn¹t be worse. Not that there is a good time. In fact, in honor of his birthday, I think I¹ll send this around to a few of our favorite music websites who will most likely print the whole damn thing word for word, including your phone number and email. For good measure, I¹m going to throw in the top 50 major daily music and some of the top TV writers in the country and why not, the weeklies as well.

I realize there is nothing anyone can do to stop E! from producing garbage like this below, as you¹ve built your audience on the backs of other people¹s private lives, creating some type of warped reality out of your garbage, which is merely excuses for programming on the cheap and at the expense of others.

I would like to request that you please read this out out loud to all the creative geniuses in the programming department that came up with this idea.


We have received your request to license footage on Dimebag Darrell Abbott for your upcoming production of, "25 Most Chilling Hollywood Murders."

While we realize the average E! audience most likely has the IQ of an umbrella, they collectively are a smarter bunch than the lot of you. Your programming creativity falls somewhere to the bottom of the middle at best, and that¹s saying a lot.

I ask that you all please take a moment from your busy days and close your eyes. Live out the fantasy of playing your favorite instrument onstage. Your closest friends in the world surround you, either in the band or in your crew. From one side of the stage, a man approaches. Thinking he¹s a security guy or a drunk fan who¹s just a bit out a line, you continue to perform. Two seconds later, he lifts his arms, aims a rifle at your brother, your best friend, your buddy and blows his brains out, not three feet from where you are. In the nanosecond it takes you to comprehend the magnitude of what just happened, he does it again ...and again ...and again ...and again ...and again ...and again before taking aim and murdering additional members of your extended family as well as fans that have come to see you play. Two of your crew are shot but survive, but of course, will never be the same gain.

Now imagine it¹s a few years later and you turn on the TV set. Just in case you may be having at least a five minute respite from that scene that plays over and over in your head, just in case flip through the channels and there it is. Again. Only with some two bit actor who thinks this is his big Hollywood break.

And please, if you don¹t like that scenario, make believe it¹s your child who got his brains splattered all over a stage in Ohio. And then you turn on E! Oh, the magic of television!

In case none of this appears clear enough and you need a definitive answer to your The answer if no, and on behalf of everyone that was there that night and everyone that misses him every day, you can take that no and shove it up your collective asses.

And, for your second request, yes, you can quote me on that.

Jane Hoffman

What a bunch of assholes. This just happened a year and a half ago. It's way too soon for it to be a segment on - of all stations - E! Darrell Abbott was probably never on the station before his death, probably never wanted to be, so it wouldn't make any sense to pull this sort of crap. The worst part is, Dimebag's Birthday is this weekend.

Rattlesnakes Released During Showing of Talladega Nights

Just kidding. Some Beavis - or Butt-Head, I suppose - released snakes during a showing of Snakes on a Plane. I just thought the title as it is originally stated sounds way too simple and I probably at least got a confused "Huh?" out of the lot of you.

Apparently, some moron(s) decided it would be a funny gag to let two diamondback rattlesnakes loose in a movie theater just for a crappy movie. Wonder what they would have actually planned for Talladega Nights? Ramming the side of the building with their mother's Buick?

Snake Handlers had to be called to collect the ornery little creatures, who were mad, not for all of the commotion in the theater, but because they were dissatisfied with their counterparts in the film. They later stated that Hollywood shouldn't try to stereotype snakes.

Yes, here is the original story, and, though frightening, I'd have to give it '6' just for the entertainment value.

Aug 21, 2006

Moms Can Be Very Stupid About Coupon Books

It doesn't require a lot of intelligence to spin an insignificant nothing into an issue or become obstinately irate about it, as mothers of UGA students and local officials have recently proven.

The Athens Banner Herald "reported" today that a controversy is brewing over the content of...a coupon book.

Yes, indeed, as if white-flight soccer moms had less to worry about, allegations that a small coupons booklet encourages alcohol abuse and underage drinking are rampant in this part of the state today, the result of the ire of a few concerned parents.

To be fair, UGA consistently ranks as one of the top party schools in the nation every year, and students shouldn't be tempted with all of these alluring - and quite reasonable - bargains.

So, parents, tell your children to stop reading the Red & Black, the Flagpole, the Athens Banner-Herald, and every single store window at every single gas station in this town and any other town in the nation, except may Salt Lake City. Okay?

Athens, GA is rife with alcohol endorsements. Only Sanford Stadium is a bigger draw than the downtown scene in Athens, so tell them not to frequent any of the places downtown either.

It's true that the coupon books were given away at bookstores in town, but who are we kidding here? Don't be intellectually shallow, saying that only these coupon books target students. That's just asinine.

What percentage of kegs are sold to students in this town, many of them underage? 80%? Does that sound like a fair estimate to you? It doesn't make it right, but you shouldn't be naive enough to think that it doesn't happen. And will continue to happen. No one endorses these coupon books, and, unlike what the Athens Banner-Herald stated, there was not a slew of advertisements for drinking related activities in the damn thing, so back off.

If you want to keep your kid away from the booze, set an example. Tell them it's not safe or legal for them to drink underage, and maybe - just maybe - they'll listen to a calmer version of you than the one ranting in papers or on television.

Because I'll let you know one thing, ladies: if you're that concerned your son/daughter is susceptible to advertising, stop letting them watch MTV, FOX (that includes The OC, moms), F/X, and the Weather Channel. Regardless of whether you're aware of this, mommy, advertising targets everyone. Everyone all the time. It is advertising's wish to have the largest available audience, better than the day or the week before it. If they could, they'd sell booze to your unborn child. If your kid is as susceptible to advertising and weak-minded as you think he/she is, then oh well. Maybe you should have been a bettter parent all along. How about that?

Aug 20, 2006

Lieberman Jabs Rumsfeld; Pandering Begins

I've extensively covered the Liberman loss and, while I think that Jinx Protocol is singlehandedly responsible for the Lamont victory, I don't know what will become of this race if it continues to get weirder and weirder.

The news up to this point has included a Republican-backed Lieberman, and that's about the extent to which I expected the tactic to be different this time around.

However, now that his nuts are on the chopping block, Joe Lieberman is going for the I'm-so-obvious-it's-not-even-funny angle by criticizing the military.

Now? Really? Don't get me wrong, I'm not surprised, I'm just, well, incredulous.

According to the Times, Lieberman pandered to the anti-war Dems by asking for the resignation of Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld.

Go figure. What a pathetic mess he's become, and in such a short time.


I believe that people should be able to do just about whatever they want, as long as it doesn't hurt another person. It's just the libertarian coming out in me, I guess...unless it involves barely naked children.

The New York Times reported today that, since there is an internet crackdown going on, child sex sites are resorting to taking pictures of "nearly nude" children to achieve their...well, ends. Yuck.

The sites, including one called PlayToy - absolutely disgusting - show pictures of children wearing makeup and feather boas and have the audacity to call it "modeling."

Believe me, I don't like reporting this to you any more than you like hearing it. At least I hope so. But it has to be done.

The NYTimes has found over 200 sites in the last several months alone, prompting many new sorts of sites to come into existence, lingering on the edge of what can be considered legal. While parading as 100% legal, many of the web pages offer links to places that show scantily clad children - I never thought I would have to type those words.

Now, what in the hell is so difficult about finding these people. I haven't actually ever met a child pornographer, but I would imagine them to mostly be mouth-breathing morons, so what's with all of the child pornography? Huh? Unless they have some clandestine, Orwellian guardian, they should...yuck, suffer the same kind of problems they create for others. I don't even want to imagine what happens to these people in prison. But between that and half-naked children, show me a raped pervert any day of the week.

File Under "Not That You'd Care" News

Hey, out there in the blogosphere and elsewhere. Most of you are probably out trying to drink your bodies and your brains into submission, which is just fine. I understand if you're not sitting at your computer, waiting for my all-important blog to be updated.

Either way, I posted a lot last night and I'm trying to get all of the updates finished on my new computer - I finally got it - so I won't be doing an enormous amount of blogging tonight. Sorry.

I'll pick back up with this tomorrow.

Aug 19, 2006

Something I Could NEVER Do

If you've ever played Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, this little bit of acrobatics will amaze you. If you've never played it or you never cared for video games, you might as well just skp on down to the other stuff.

Aug 18, 2006

Number Themed Trivia

1. What are the seven deadly sins?

2. What are the seven cardinal virtues?

3. How many rules to Fight Club are there? What are they?

4. Who was the eighth President of the United States?

5. What is the eighth installment in the Friday the 13th series titled?

6. Name the three movies in the "Man with No Name" Trilogy (Three Sergio Leone westerns starring Clint Eastwood).

7. How many times does Aretha Franklin spell out Respect in the song of the same name?

8. What do Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, and Jimi Hendrix all have in common?

9. Which of these actors was not in 13 ghosts?
A. Matthew Lillard
B. Tony Shalhoub
C. F. Murray Abraham
D. Shannon Elizabeth
E. Chris Kattan

10. In Mike Tyson's Punchout for the Nintendo Entertainment System, how many times must Little Mac knock his opponent down in a single round to win by TKO? Who is the referee in the game?

11. How many times has Martin Scorsese won the Oscar for Best Picture?

I Don't Know Why This is So Funny

Seven is one of my favorite movies. In fact, it only trails Jaws as my favorite ever. That's why I was surprised to find so much stuff on Youtube, especially the strange video I posted below.

There's nothing different or special about it, but hopefully you'll think it's funny enough to watch the whole thing. I spent the first four minutes going, "What in the name of Hell in church is this supposed to be?" The guys who did it should dub over crappy foreign movies.

[Warning: This is the ending of the movie, so if you don't want it to be spoiled, don't watch this. Okay?]

I don't think the above vid is ebaumsworld, but the one below definitely is. It's a reworking of the trailer for Seven, but it appeals to the romantic in all of us.

N.A.R.A.M. Trivia

Okay, so there's been a few complaints about the difficulty of the trivia. As a compromise, I will tone down the questions for a session of what I like to call NARAM Trivia. I'll keep the other trivia, but will feature this just once every so often. Enjoy.

1. Kate Hudson and what rocker recently split up?

2. What was George Washington's last name?

3. What comedian is Jessica Simpson supposedly hooking up with? What was she spotted buying at the pharmacy last week?

4. Mark Ruffalo starred in what movie with Electrifying co-star Jennifer Garner?

5. Who ends up with Katie Holmes's character in Dawson's Creek?

6. Which Friends character has the most children over the course of the 10 season run?

Snakes on Plane Review

You'll have to wait for the Drew Wheeler review of Snakes, so here is the NYTimes for now.

The Republicans Backing Lieberman Outright

In a very telling New York Times article, it seems apparent that the Republicans will be backing Senator Joe Lieberman this fall instead of their own candidate.

Quick: Who's the Republican Candidate running against Lieberman and Ned Lamont?

Can't name him? Neither can his potential constituents, apparently. As of right now, Alan Schlesinger - Oh, that's the one - only holds about 4 percent of the vote in Connecticut, where the real battle seems to be between a Democrat and a DemoPublican.

This ought to get puh-retty interesting in the next few months.

Ten Commandments in Public

"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes."

-Thomas Jefferson to Alexander von Humboldt, Dec. 6, 1813.

If you're a Christian in Oklahoma City, thank Buddha that Lynn Westmoreland is not your representative.

A judge in Oklahoma City ruled today in favor of the Ten Commandments being displayed outside a government building, Yahoo reports. It's not just the Ten Commandments.

No, no. It's much more sly than that. Your rights are not being subverted in an obvious way. What would be the fun in that? They've got to be slowly chipped away until you have nothing but the mere shell of democracy lying broken on the floor of the kitchen, with the yolk having been sucked out over the course of a few decades. Wouldn't that be some stinky democracy?

Anyway, the judge ruled that - in this case - it is permissible for the Commandments to be shown in public. The Supreme Court has determined that such a practice is acceptable.

My beef is not with religion or even people wanting its doctrines getting displayed in a public places. Well, it is sort of. But I am more concerned with the sort of clandestine alterior motives behind it all.

What most people don't understand is that there really aren't any giant shifts in political, religious, etc. thought. All changes come gradually.

It would be very surprising to me if Roe v. Wade got overturned or religious zealots took over the government. The process, if it happened at all (and I don't think it will), would be slow and gradual.

For example, instead of trying to overturn RVW outright, lots of right-wing politicians have begun getting little things passed - little requirements - for women seeking abortions. Over the last two decades the right to an abortion has gotten more restrictive (and some good things have come of that, too, mind you) and eventually it will be all but impossible for a woman to have one.


then it will be up to the other side to pull against it for awhile, to change things around a bit. Politics, like everything else, works in cycles. We're only experiencing a moderate right turn right now. The law of averages will eventually win out and things will start going the other direction.

Just think of how many people are sick of Republicans right now. It will change. Granted, it only took eight years for the public to tire of the Democrats' shenanigans, and my fear in that is that the cycles - let's call them the "Cycles of Averages" - will become shorter and shorter, allowing for less gradual shifts. This sort of mentality is much more pervasive and prone to upheaval than our present system, so be careful. That's all. Be careful.

Aug 16, 2006

Scientology and Death

Right now it seems about as trendy to bash Scientology as it was to be in the Church during its heyday, so I'll try my best to stter away from that sort of thing. This isn't a Scientology episode, and I have no axe to grind. I just wanted this to be brought to your attention and let you sort it out for yourselves.

However (always seems to be one, huh):

There are a few web sites exists claiming that Scientology actually has had several of its members neglected or murdered over the course of its sordid history.

[This is the point where you say, "So what?" There are web sites claiming that Elvis works at a Carls Jr. in Hollywood or that a plane never hit the Pentagon. What's your point?]

Well, not that I want to propagate the rumor, but you should at least visit Scientology Kills. It's at least worth checking out, and the stories are chilling as well as true.

Scientology Kills, combined with Why are they Dead?, tries to poke holes in the Church of Scientology - often called CoS - and claim that it is just a scam and not really a religion at all.

Overall, it's hard to believe that such a nefarious plot would not have been brought to the public's attention before, but I guess the issue has not really been newsworthy either. Who would ever think that a religion created by a science fiction writer could have such implications? Not such a joke anymore, is it?

The site is creepy and weird and points out things that I didn't know before, like the fact that Quentin Hubbard, L. Ron's son, committed suicide after disassociating himself with the Church. L. Ron himself was arrested for conspiring to infiltrate the U.S. Government and sentenced to four years in prison.

Check everything out for yourselves. Don't take my word for it. Come to your own conclusion and let me know if you find anything particularly interesting on either side.

Aug 15, 2006

...And Yet Another Reason I Hate Network News

Stephen Colbert has a reputation for parodying news and news interviews with an almost
"Modest Proposalian" take on the world. It's funny, but it can be extremely biting. You definitely don't want to get caught in Colber's Crosshairs (see: Bears). Because of the format of the show, he can ask extremely probing, honest, and tough questions without really ruffling the status quo. However, anyone who gets it knows that he is slyly cajoling the truth from people who otherwise think it's just a soft show that doesn't report any news.

Boy are those people wrong. Even newscasters, who should have their thumbs glued to the pulse of America, don't get it, making fun of it while simultaneously looking like the out-of-touch, horribly overrated and unimportant hacks they are.

Here is a prime example why Colbert's show is better than the crap that goes on in the mainstream media.

And here is another reason I like Stephen Colbert...

...dislike Tucker Carlson...


This is Our State Government, Georgia!

Here is a video of Stephen Colbert interviewing Lynn Westmoreland of Georgia, who at one time supported a bill to include the Ten Commandments in public places. I don't know if he still supports it, but the video shows why he may or may not.

So now here's what you do. If you live in the 8th district, you have this guy kicked out on his sorry, pathetic behind!

Counties that should be rioting: Rockdale, Lamar, Spalding, Pike, Upson, Troup, Harris, Carroll, Douglas, Fayette, Henry, and Coweta.

Tonight on the Daily Show

I have always firmly believed that Jon Stewart is better when he features people on his show who have something political to hock.

Tonight, however, Samuel L. Jackson will be on the show, talking about his new movie, Snakes on a Plane.

Now, either this "movie" - and I use the term loosely - is merely the result of brilliant marketing, or the movie industry is micturating down your back and calling it rain.

Wink. Wink. They're both the same thing.

The Blogosphere has been on fire about this thing for a long time, but blogging can only do so much (unless it's politics, and then it can do a lot). What the industry is hoping is that new types of advertising can save this thing from going down like a Democratic campaign during wartime (zing!).

It's most certainly not the movie.

Snakes on a Plane is Anaconda-meets-Passenger 57, and not just because a black guy is in the lead role. Or is it just an action movie in a post-9/11 world? Is that the new scare? Anything on planes? Is it the 21st century equivalent of The Exorcist or Texas Chain Saw Massacre? Are planes the only taboo left?

No. That would be giving this vehicle too much credit. I don't know whether the filmmakers intentionally tried to make a movie that would have a cult following at best, but I heard that Sam Jackson threatened to drop out of the project if it was called anything but Snakes on a Plane.

I think that speaks for itself.

Thanks For Reading

I just wanted to take a sec to thank everybody for checking in so far. I'm making changes everyday and I want you to enjoy this blog as much as I enjoy adding to it.


Titannica Rocks!

Mr. Show was a short-lived, well, show on HBO in the mid-nineties, starring David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. You probably have never heard of either of these guys, and I can't really fault you for that. David Cross played Tobias Funkhe on Arrested Development and Bob Odenkirk played Concert Nerd in Wayne's World 2 (Just kidding. Well, it's true, but he's also in other stuff).

Mr. Show was a great sketch comedy EVENT, and a lot of comics played bit parts all through the four illustrious seasons. I thought I'd feature one of the funniest skits below.

Enjoy Titannica.

David Cross plays Adam and Bob Odenkirk is the guy with the wicked mullet.

Retro Junk.Com - For the Eighties Baby in You

Retro Junk.Com

I was a Regan Baby and, even though it really doesn't stand for anything significant - we didn't fight the Battle of the Bulge - it does mean that we had a decade of pretty serious pop culture. I was born in '82, so I have a pretty good grasp of that period, and Retro Junk brings a lot of it back for me.

The front page alone features: ThunderCats, The Noid, Masters of the Universe, Fat Albert, The A-Team, and Excitebike. Not mentioned is the bad stuff (Iran Contra, Jim Bakker, and mullets), but hey, you can't have it all, can you?

There's articles for just about anyone, too (jeez, I sound like I'm really plugging this place). The Top 10 Thrash albums of all time, a Nicktoons Anniversary article, etc.

You can travel back in time and you don't even have to know what and Influx Capacitor is!

Transformers Trailer

I've mentioned the trailer for the new Michael Bay live-action Transformers yes, it has a Wikipedia entry! - movie, but just to rehash it for the folks who have had trouble finding it - or otherwise forgetting to view it - below is the teaser for the movie.

What's awesome about the project is that it's slated to be released on July 4th of next year. The marketing for the flick should be pretty unmatched, and it comes out after Spiderman 3, so there's no rub there.

What sucks for the people who want to see this movie is that Michael Bay is doing it. I've already ranted about the guy, but I'll give you another little nugget: He's being way too serious about the integrity of the Transformers. The freakin' Transformers!

Which, now that I think of it, isn't a bad notion in and of itself, because a good movie may come out of this. Obviously, he didn't give a crap about Pearl Harbor and you see how that turned out. Rumors are all over the place about the movie. Some people are saying that you won't be able to see a "Transformation" (?)(would that be the right word) until opening day or that he won't use the "More than Meets the Eye" tagline to promote the movie.

And that, my friends, is just scary.

The Kanrei Home for Wayward Lemmings: Evil Dead the Musical!!!

The Kanrei Home for Wayward Lemmings: Evil Dead the Musical!!!

Sick of the Same Old Routine

I was thinking today - scary - about love and all of that stuff, and, as per usual, my mind drifted to movies. All of the movies you've ever seen about love are just the same, even though you probably don't think they are.

What? you say.

It's the truth. The honest-to-god truth.

Just because Reality Bites didn't end the way you wanted it too or a small twist exists in one of your favorite romantic comedies doesn't make it "different".

It was sort of an epiphany, and I had to blog about it. The type of love that's disseminated in those movies makes no sense whatsoever. It's the kind of retarded, we-make-sense-because-we're-so-different malarkey that is just the same as hey, we-make-sense-because-we're-so-similar malarkey. This true love stuff has got to go. It places too much pressure on the individuals involved in real life.

True love only happens in the movies because those things are only an hour and a half long. Hell, I can love just about anybody for two hours. It's not worth a $40 million extravaganza.

And the most embarrassingly dishonest piece of propaganda in those things is that love conquers all. Whatever your affliction, disposition, state-of-mind, background, race, creed, or sex, all you need is the modern idea of love and everything will work out.

It's not just in romantic comedies either. That idea is all over the place. "You had me at hello" anyone? Even Fight Club borders on stepping into that territory at the end, if but in a brief display of affection.

Isn't it strange?

And let's just get something straight: real love is not what is shown in those movies. Real love is what happens after the movie is over. Because most of the people don't make it out of situations like that unscathed. Look at Speed 2. No Keanu anywhere.

Aug 14, 2006

Tarantino Q & A on Grind House

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are teaming up to do a combo of slasher flicks to be released simultaneously. Here is a bit of the Question and Answer portion of the announcement at Comic Con in San Diego.

David Cross and Larry the Cable Guy - the Feud

Read David Cross's open letter to Larry the Cable Guy on It's been on the web for a while, but I thought that it should be featured on the blog, seeing as I despise David Cross and love Larry the Cable Guy.

Will They Use This in an Apple Commerical?

I don't know why this counts as news, but apparently Dell is recalling some of its batteries because they could potentially burst into flames.

Wouldn't that be the perfect joke to play on somebody who looks at entirely too much internet porn?

You can read it about it everywhere, but I got the story from the New York Times.

Word You'll Probably Never Use: Skintern


A Skintern is an intern who wears scant clothing and is probably an all-around skank. You know why? Think of the people who are probably ogling these "hip" girls.

Uh-huh. You processing it well enough? Gross, isn't it? You know the girl who used to dress up around your dad (well, I didn't)? Same kind of thing, I think. And it's disgusting.

A Little Tarantino Question

Who's your favorite character in Reservoir Dogs? Is that who you'd want to be, if you were in the movie? Or, are you a Mister Orange when you obviously want to be Mister Blonde? What do you think?

As embarrassing as it sounds, I'm probably a Mister Pink. Ha! I'm mouthy and cynical - only sixty percent though - and I'd probably be the first to think something's up. However, I wouldn't live through the whole movie, I know it. I wouldn't be that lucky. I wouldn't even be close to that lucky. I'd be like Brown or Blue, the two poor bastards you only see in, like, two scenes of the movie.

I don't really believe in fate or anything like that, but it would just be my luck. Maybe I believe in the existence of shitty luck, that's all. It would be my misfortune to be the minor character in Reservoir Dogs.
Because who are the two characters most people forget about in the movie? Brown and Blue, plain and simple.

And, just so you know it's one of my posts, here's a trailer for the movie. I wanted you to see something like that coming.

But here's a trailer for the game. Hoo-ra, I got you.

The Single Reason I Want an XBox 360 - Dead Rising

In today's society, where video games are becoming infinitely more sophisticated, it's nice to know that somewhere out there a game like Dead Rising exists. Watch the trailer below.

Now, for those of you who don't know me, Dead Rising is the sort of thing that makes my bells jingle. It's just a romp through a mall - though not a Romero construction - and the thing's purpose is the annihilation of zombies. Beyond that, missions exist and so what, it is just gore. Thank you, Capcom. I am intrigued by the GTA-style gameplay, since I was once a GTA: Vice City addict (it's certifiable).

Too bad I don't own a 360.

New Sony Mylo

Here is a crappy video for the new Sony Mylo.

If you're interested in technology stuff, this will probably suit your fancy, but I'm never going to watch it again. The guy in the video acts like he's in the bomb squad and he's going in on his first mission.

So I'm NOT the Most Cynical Person Alive!

I'm only 60% Cynical!

You Are 60% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist.
You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

And I thought I was just too damned craggy to survive my twenties. There's hope for me yet.

Aug 13, 2006

This is What Sundays are For.

The Aqua Teen site on the [adult swim] site hasn't been updated in a while, so I wonder when a new batch of the shows will be released. Until then, you can relax and enjoy a little fun from the past.

And you can watch several episodes of the show on the [adult swim] fix. Visit the web site - - to watch your favorite episodes.

A Mindless Thirty Seconds for You.

Go ahead. You've earned it.

Now. Don't you feel better a little bit?

Where is Zack De La Rocha?

Rage Against the Machine disbanded in 2000, leaving in its wake a mass of pseudo-political and half-assed bands scurrying to fill the void. Most of those bands sucked - and still do - and, in my opinion, only seemed to "talk the talk."

One of the last videos released by the band was Testify, from the Battle of Los Angeles album. It features a pointed criticism of the candidates for president in 2000, saying that both George W. Bush and Al Gore were merely different voices of the same mouth.

What do you think the band would be singing about today? Tom Morello and the rest of the band has moved on, hushing their political beliefs in the new band, Audioslave, and Zack de la Rocha has all but fallen off the face of the earth. His solo album never saw the light of day, and all we could do is guess what the band would be doing in light of the recent political happenings in the U.S.

de la Rocha on the break-up, from Wikipedia:

I feel that it is now necessary to leave Rage because our decision-making process has completely failed. It is no longer meeting the aspirations of all four of us collectively as a band, and from my perspective, has undermined our artistic and political ideal. I am extremely proud of our work, both as activists and musicians, as well as indebted and grateful to every person who has expressed solidarity and shared this incredible experience with us*.

Nobody Remembers the Talking Heads

Here's a video for "And She Was."

...And an interview with David Letterman in 1983. Check out Dave's hair.

I wanted to highlight these vids by complaining about how pigeonholed the Talking Heads have become in the grand music scheme, but it came off a different way than I had intended. So instead you get this awkward little afterthought on the videos. Enjoy!

Aug 12, 2006

And Speaking of Papers - The Red and Black

There are so many great national and international papers out there that the local guys sometimes get lost in the mix, so tonight's spotlight shines directly on the ink here in my own town, Athens, GA.

Since school is about to start, I thought I'd include a link for UGA's student-run newspaper, the Red & Black.

All right. I can already hear you bickering, but the Red & Black is no ordinary college rag. It was featured in the Wall Street Journal last week as one of the top college newspapers in the NATION! How's about that, lesser respected papers?

Okay, just because I can't find a link to the article doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It does and I don't care if you think I'm lying.

The funny thing about the article is that it seems to suggest that news readership was projected to go down for college students, and, to their amazement, it's staying the course. The writers seem to suggest that, "hey, we were wrong. The youth really do care about some issues."

What it fails to acknowledge is that the paper acts as a distraction in class, subverting the reason some of the students are here: to learn.

Ha! Why learn about the return of Martin Guerre if you can solve the Friday crossword? Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Who cares why he's back if you figure out a four letter word for procreation?

The Flagpole's Movie Pic

The Flagpole is the local free paper that lets you know what's really going on in Athens. Who cares about politics, when you can find out who's playing at the Georgia Theater this weekend? (It's Drivin' n' Cryin' tonight, by the way).

But, seriously, I have been attempting ot include more Athens area swank, so here's this week's movie pick.

A New Wrinkle in the Saga

If you haven't read the precursor to this story, then you should read the blog "Wow! An eBay Experience Like Dropping Bombs".

As it turns out, the guy (or girl) who outbid me didn't pay, so this morning I was OFFERED TO BUY THE COMPUTER AT MY LAST BID!

Now, this sounds great, doesn't it?

Well, sort of. It would be a great thing, had I not already bought a computer. Yes, indeed. I bought one just after being outbid on the one I really wanted, which included: an Airport wireless card and a 20 gig iPod.

I couldn't believe it was true when I saw it. Not that I can buy the godforsaken thing now, but if you want, you can give me a donation to help me reach my dream of having a computer with wireless internet on it. What? It's my dream. I can want whatver in the hell I so please.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. It's just that I've been taking all this medication, and you know, my bed sucks and I'm not very flexible.

Anyway, I got offered the computer again. Whoopee. I can't buy it.

Aug 11, 2006

Metalocalypse Trailer

[adult swim] is the sort of underground - well, I guess it's getting huge - where you can get an adult cartoon fix. It's been around for several years, and if you're a big Family Guy fan, then you should be kissing [adult swim]'s feet.

This is the trailer for the newest show, Metalocalypse. It airs Sunday nights on Cartoon Network @ 11:45. There are several other trailers available at YouTube.

Watch the Video and tell me what you think about it. I'm really interested, but I also know this one may be a little harder to watch than Aqua Teen or Sealab. [adult swim] has created several shows lately which have leaned toward extreme violence.

Wait. I said that like I was offended. No, I'm excited about all of the violence. I just hope that it has enough viewers to keep going.

How Little We Really Change

Here is video of a girl who took a picture of herself every day for three years and melded it into a single presentation. It's kind of cool and the music is a little eerie.

Aug 10, 2006

Quick Trivia

1. What is the name of Christian Bale's character in the movie American Psycho? For bonus points, who plays the main character in its sequel?

2. What did Geraldo Rivera find upond entering one of Al Capone's vaults on live TV? (This guy is such a tool. I don't know why I gave him some trivia).

3. What television "journalist" drew a map in the sand in Iraq on live TV and was later reprimanded by the Pentagon because it seemed to reveal too much about the military's position?

4. Who had his nose broken by a white supremacist during a racial fight on the set of his own show?

5. What talk show host had lipo suction done on his butt and had the resulting fat injected into his forehead?

Wow! An eBay Experience Like Dropping Bombs!

I had planned for tonight's post to be about the trouble in the Middle East and the firestorm surrounding the Israeli bombings in Lebannon, but in the end my experience with eBay won out.

Aren't you glad? I was going to talk about terrorism and Israel's bombings (whether or not it is in self-defense). The subject of anti-Muslim sentiment in America today (Neal Boortz says "it's a cult; it's not even a religion" [his words not mine]) would come up. I was even going to challenge Neal's statements - not the ones above - that "all terrorists are Muslims."*

However, I had a battle of my own today, and I was droppin' bombs like Hiroshima. Well, if you substitue bombs with bids and Hiroshima with a Dual USB iBook G3+airport with Bonus iPod 20gig!!, then I'd be an explosion-making Mother[curse word]. Right?

So, as of today, I was watching a computer/iPod auction on eBay, and I'd been playing coy, bidding only when I had to. And, yesterday, some punk started outbidding me. I said, "no sir." This guy started a battle. He casually placed bids on an auction on eBay, not even knowing that I had it in for him. And it was on!

Over the course of the day, the tension mounted. He'd bid. I'd bid and overtake him. He'd bid again and I'd have to put him in place. Blam! Blaw! Ping! I was throwin' bullets (bids) at his ass (the auction).

I was determined not to let the guy win, and I succeeded. He bowed out at the three hundred dollar mark.

The only problem was, I'd used all of my ammo (money) on blasting him (eating fast food), and I couldn't stave off the Mac-hungry hoards (people who thought the same auction was a good bargain).

Needless to say, I lost the auction (auction). Now I'm sitting in the barracks (the library), waiting on another mission (something cheaper).

*Neal Boortz quote from Media Matters for America

Aug 9, 2006

The Low Post: Hillary Clinton

There's a biting article on Rolling Stone regarding Hillary Clinton. Some think that Hillary Clinton is the favorite for the Democratic nomination in 2008. I personally don't, but that's just me.

But, if you look at her closely - actually, if you look at her at all - you can see the beginnings of a grab for the White House. I don't mean that in spite, only in fact.

Say What You Will About Mike Tyson. I Surely Won't

Though boxing has become somewhat of a joke in the - sports world, entertainment world, just plain world - world, you can still enjoy the bouts of the past, thanks to a little thing I've probably never used or mentioned, YouTube.

Tonight's foray into the past involves the second greatest boxer of all-time, Mike Tyson (The first being Muhammed Ali, obviously). Well, who I consider the second-best boxer of all-time, so I won't sound as if I'm speaking from a position of authority.

Anyway, someone put together a great montage of the guy's best moments in the ring, and, let me tell you, I don't think I would have ever stepped into the ring with that man. Not for a million dollars, not even for a single round. Anyone who says any different - well, except the people who managed to beat him, of course - is a liar.

He's retired from boxing. His final stats:

Total Fights: 58
Wins: 50
By KO: 44
Losses: 6
Draws: 0
No Contest: 2

Oh, and the background song is "The Final Countdown". (Not from Rocky IV)

Lewis Black and Harry Potter

Since you guys are all out there, spinning around in cyber space somewhere, it's hard for me to give you a true sense of who I am. The Inner Jinx, we'll call it. In an attempt to show you me, here is a video of how I spent my summer.

Music News - Guns N Roses

Okay, so Guns N Roses is the Loch Ness Monster of my generation - maybe Elvis would be a better fit - because there are sightings everywhere but very little evidence to support its existence.

Well, the band performed an acoustic set in London on Saturday, July 29, according to Blabbermouth.Net.

I know you think that the band broke up years and years ago, but you're wrong. The band is still alive and...well, it's still alive. Axl Rose - or I should say the studios - spent over $10 million to produce the new incarnation of the band's album Chinese Democracy, though a definite release date has yet to be set.

You can read an article about the album on

A Follow Up on the Lieberman Loss

You tired of hearing about it? Good. Here's today's New York Times article following up on the Lieberman loss.

Some people are calling it the first victory for the blogosphere, and I don't think that it's necessarily far from the truth. The online community added much fuel to the fire of this race, and, in the end, the more passionate side - i.e. the side tirelessly talking about - won out.

The main blog that comes to mind in the Lieberman Lamont race is The Daily Kos, which has been very active on the liberal front for a very long time, longer than most other blogs on the web.

All indications point to the fact that Lieberman will run independently, despite being turned away by the voters in his state. The Daily Show's Samantha Bee portrayed him as a date who gets turned down and cotinues his advances, which is, I think, a fair estimation of the situation. Connecticut has said, "hey, we don't want you around." And he just doesn't get it. I think it's more like the drunk guy at the party who won't go home and sleep it off, even though everyone else has told him he's being a drunk ass.

Go figure.

Is Dane Cook a Joke Thief?

All right, so my cynical side is coming out tonight, but I wanted to address this, wanted to "get it out in the open". Otherwise, I'd feel like I'd have something to say and no medium for it. Then I'd wait until the wrong time and blurt it out, like "doyouthinkdanecookstoleanyofthematerialheuses", and then it would be awkward.

So here it is:

Do you think Dane Cook is a joke thief? Apparently, just under the Israeli conflict and the Iraqi War, this is one of the most hotly contested issues on the internet. I want to weigh in on it, but I'd like to stay in the middle, if I could.

Okay, so a lot of people say that Dane Cook steals material, but oodles of those people are also the guys who poop on things because they're really popular. Instead of coming off like a true statement, their criticism seems more like an attack fueled by jealousy or hatred than anything else, the internet chat room equivalent of a Michael Moore flick (no offense, Mike).

Is it true? I don't know. I found an mp3 file on the Wizard Words Blog, comparing three bits of his to Louis CK's. Listen to it.

Louis CK has said once or twice in public that he thinks the bits are similar, but he's never outright implicated theft on Cook's part. Listening to them doesn't do much to prove it one way or the other. The one that sounds the most similar is the bit about seeing someone get struck by a vehicle. The other two appear to be more or less coincidental.

Here's where I would normaly insert my personally (Jeez, I didn't mean for that to sound gross), but I won't. It's up to you. You decide, America and beyond.

Robin Williams Off to Rehab

In honor of Robin Williams's sojourn to rehab for alcoholism, here is a bit he did involving a drunk Scotsman and golf. I don't dislike Robin Williams, but I thought it would only be fitting to pay homage to him. According to the BBC article, he's not a raging alcoholic, he's just catching it before it does him harm. So THERE, Negative Nellies, calling me a misanthrope.

A Side Note: A lot of comics accuse Robin Williams of being a huge hack, but I'm having trouble finding any information on it. Personally, I've always regarded such information as jealousy among his peers who hated him because he was famous. I poo-poo that sort of stuff, because it's the worst insult to a comic and shouldn't be taken lightly.

It's like the word Goddamn. Seriously.

However, while perusing Ye Olde Webbe tonight, I found an article on regarding his being a joke thief, and the information doesn't bode well for Williams's innocence. There's an entire page devoted to instances of his pilfering, including the description of a word-for-word take on a Ray Romano bit (The one about putting phones in people's ears to make them more convenient. I haven't found video evidence, but it may be out there. It was on Letterman).

I will not condemn him or call him a hack. Believe what you will, but I'll never be able to watch Flubber the same way again.

Ding! Dong! The Joe is Dead?

Joe Lieberman lost the Democratic nomination tonight in Connecticut, and you'd think that the guy would be out of the picture.

Not so simple.

It appears that what many thought would happen has, and the result is a doomed Democratic seat in the Congress this fall.

As the election night stumbles to a finish, Ned Lamont is ahead 52 to 49% and looks as though he will be the Democratic candidate for that particular seat in Connecticut in November. However, Joe Lieberman will run as an independent and more than likely split the vote in that state, causing a rift that would potentially make the Republican a default winner.

I don't necessarily think Joe Lieberman is a sore loser for running as an independent - well, yes I do - but it's awfully selfish of him, as I have said before.

And sort of suspect, don't you think? Hmm.

Stories covering the loss:
The L.A. Times - Lieberman Concedes Primary Race, Will Run as Independent

ABC News - Lamont Beats Lieberman in Connecticut Primary

NY Times - Lamont Defeats Liberman in Primary

Aug 8, 2006

For Those About to Honky Tonk...

Here's a video for all the people who know what it's all about. This is a rare gem, Hank Jr. and Johnny Cash performing a Hank Sr. song at the Grand Ole Opry in the ?Seventies? For those of you who don't know, this was filmed before Johnny Cash died. Just kidding. But for the hipsters, this was long before his American days, when he teamed up with Rick Rubin.

As a side note, Hank Williams, Jr. could pass as Rick Rubin in this performance. If you don't like it, you can complain below.

A Case of the Tuesdays

There's not much for philosophical, political, or spiritual discussion today. The angst of Monday is gone and such. It's just sort of a ho-hum day. If only more were happening in the world.

Oh wait.

EVERYTHING is happening. Here's the news, as best I can condense it.

Lieberman's pissed over a web site crash (and he's losing), the Alaskan pipeline has rusted, the Middle East is business as usual, the fraternities are back in Athens, Lebanon may or may not deploy troops to secure its border if Israeli forces withdraw, hackers are targeting Macs, Tom DeLay still wants people to vote for him via write-in, Dennis Miller has joined FoxNews, and I am burrowing under my house to protect me from the end times.

Check out the developing Liberman story at the New York Times.

Music Trivia

1. Under what name did Billy Joel perform when he sang at lounges in LA?

2. For what song from Led Zeppelin IV was the drum part recorded in the bottom of a stairwell in a castle?

3. Before they actually became Nirvana, the band performed under a series of names. Which of the following is not one of them?
a. Fecal Matter
b. Window Pain
c. Scoliosis
d. Brown Towel

4. Name the only top ten single for Lynyrd Skynyrd.

5. In High Fidelity, what song is the middle-aged gentleman looking for when Jack Black's character rips into him?

6. What was the first no-makeup KISS album?

7. What former SNL star was the drummer for Steely Dan before they hit it (sort of) big?

8. For what seventies-era rock band was Stephen King's alter ego named?

9. Which grunge singer was estimated to have died on April 5, 2002, eight years to the day after Kurt Cobain's Suicide?

10. Which of these musicians did not die in a plane crash?
a. Randy Rhoads
b. Peter Tosh
c. Buddy Holly
d. John Denver

Don't Try This at Home

This is a video of me warming up at home, when I had a much longer beard. Enjoy.

Just Kidding. It's Zakk Wylde.

Aug 7, 2006

Morning Trivia

1. What comment begins and ends the series Seinfeld?

2. Name six movies by the Coen Brothers starring either John Goodman or John Turturro.

3. What was Johnny Depp's first movie role?

4. Who originally turned down the role of Indiana Jones? For bonus points, what did he turn it down for?

Aug 6, 2006

Sean Connery in a Japanese Yogurt Ad

I don't want the blog to just resort to a bunch of videos, but I thought this had to be seen to believed. Stars do a lot of ads overseas to, I don't know, make a mortgage payment. I won't post a lot of ads like this, but Sean Connery with a Japanime bunny is pretty funny, if I do say so myself.


Tom Cruise Can't Afford to be a Nutjob Anymore

The New York Times is reporting this morning that Tom Cruise's thirteen-year deal with Paramount was allowed to lapse, mostly because he refuses to take a pay cut.

Cruise fans fears that, unless the hardworking actor learns some humility, an illustrious career which has matured from the cocky boy of Risky Business and Top Gun to more naunced performances in The Last Samurai and Collateral may burn out. “Right now,” said an insider close to the negotiations, “he is simply too expensive to employ.”

On the heels of a few failures, Cruise is just going to have to face facts that he is not the draw he once was. He might still be that draw had he not become such a major-league weirdo in the media over the last few years.

Being a religious star is one thing - Johnny Cash was religious - but being an antagonistic know-it-all prick is quite another, and now Tom Cruise is finally paying the price (pun not intended).

Robot Chicken...with a Message?

This Robot Chicken video is about as political as I want to get today. It seems ludicrous, but it has a message. Sort of.

It came out during the NSA wire-tapping scandal, so you should notice the small nod to it in the beginning. I'd hate to call it "satire" but it makes a good case. For what?


This is My 100th Post!

This is my 100th post.

Newest Georgia Suspensions Are Disturbing

According to an article, several noted players from the Bulldawgs roster will be missing during the first game(s) of the season.

Thomas Flowers, a junior cornerback, is the latest of the players who are going to be M.I.A. against Western Kentucky and Steve Spurrier-led South Carolina.

According to the article, senior offensive tackle Daniel Inman has been suspended for those two games as well. To read about the other suspensions, visit

Aug 4, 2006

Don't Tell Me What to Say

I'm a fairly big supporter of First Amendment Rights - I know you're excited at the sight of this - and I hate when people try to "backwards-justify" their moral or religious beliefs by scorning people who believe differently than they do.

For example, I say a lot of bad words in my day-to-day life. What can I say? I like the language of the streets*.

What I'm getting to is my dislike of people who say that bad language is the result of poor education or lack of vocabulary. The argument is always framed as though the person who uses profanity is the imbecile, muttering under his breath because he doesn't have the intellect to articulate himself properly.

I thought about that today and had a very light-bulb-over-the-head sort of moment. Aha! All of the people who have ever cited me for bad language were the ones without very many words! Vocabulary, indeed.

It was a revelation bordering on epiphany.

I've always felt like the idiot, musing over why I had to use such "filthy language." But, in fact, I have a pretty extensive vocabulary and it includes the seven dirty words and meekrob.

Obviously, not all people who use the seven dirty words are brilliant, so it doesn't completely overturn the old saying, but at least I am an exception to a pesteringly snide rule. It's always religious people who correct you, telling you can't say this or that because it's impolite or God doesn't like it.

The most ironic thing about it is that these people pretend like God can tell the difference between damn and darn (or dang, or doodlesticks, or even oh man), as if they're beating the system by changing the word around a little. Regardless of the actual wording, the context is still there, people. It's ridiculous. The same God who built the heavens and the earth, the sky and Winona Ryder, isn't smart enough to understand the intricacies of semantics. Wow. Like, "Timmy, you were such a good Christian for saying fiddlesticks instead of Damn. You get to go to heaven."

Okay, I believe in God and I give him/her/it a little more credit than that. I hope he can understand that no differece exists in all of these cutesy sounds we use to express anger/joy/fear/just plain wonderment. Otherwise, we're all in a lot of trouble.

Or, none, I guess, if we can just find small kinks in every facet of the system.

* Not the British rap guy

Developing Intelligence: Blogging on the Brain: 7/30 - 8/4

Developing Intelligence: Blogging on the Brain: 7/30 - 8/4

Aug 3, 2006

David Cross on...Carson Daly's Talk Show?

I don't know why watching this makes me feel so awkward. Maybe because it's the most awkward thing on the planet, watching David Cross - if you know him, you know how he feels about "celebrity" - and Carson Daly - does anybody remember him? - talk (sort of).

This is a great little gem from a few years ago, and though I never watched the Carson Daly show, I can now see why it got canceled.

Miami Vice Flick Skinny

The Flick Skinny is an utterly sarcastic little cartoon/movie review published in the Flagpole each week. "Clint and Jeremy" do the reviewing, and no studio release is safe from them.

This week's review is Miami Vice


Learning a New Lesson with Morgan Spurlock

I finally got around to watching the Muslim episode of Morgan Spurlock's show 30 Days, and I'm glad to say that I learned something. If you watch it, or just a piece of it, I hope you do too.

A Civil War? How unDemocratic!

The New York Times and other venues printed today that Civil War in Iraq looms nearer every day.

General John Abizaid told the Senate Armed Services Committee that "the sectarian violence is probably as bad as I’ve seen it, in Baghdad in particular, and that if not stopped, it is possible that Iraq could move towards civil war" in the article.

It's a scary prospect for American soldiers as well as Iraqis, because violence will only increase and lead to more deaths. The Armed Forces then will only be caught in the middle of the war, playing an ineffectual peacekeeper to a country already caught in more turmoil than the land - and the people - can handle.

iPod-Ready Automobiles and Microsoft's Zune

The Washington Post reported today that Apple iPods will be compatible with 70% of the automobiles released by GM, Ford Motors, and Mazda in 2007. It's a move that's probably got Microsoft thinking, "How did we drop the ball on this?"

Well, the Microsoft project to compete with Apple's iTunes and iPod is called Zune, and it will be a behemoth undertaking, costing several hundred millions dollars over the next few years. Sci-Tech-Today's article explores Microsoft's answer to the iPod, which will be released in the U.S. this fall. Zune is meant to be compatible with PC desktops and XBox 360, its newest gaming system and will offer its own music program, most likely in the same vein as iTunes.

Early predictions indicate that the early expectations are low. "This is something that's going to be a three-, four-, five-year investment," Robbie Bach, president of Microsoft's Entertainment & Devices Division, said. Zune is predicted to be released in October or earlier.

The iPod already holds 75% of the portable audio market, the Washington Post article states, and with this new move, the device's reach can only get greater. The iPod is like the pet rock of this generation*! Even Jesus has a Nano**!

And the truth is, they're only getting better. Now, more than songs, you can download videos, podcasts, files, tv shows, Metallica songs, this, that, the thing over there. It's getting ridiculous. By the time Microsoft jumps into the water, the Apple monster will have ravaged some other part of the techno-jungle.

As a side note, the title of the Washington Post article reminded me of the South Park episode Trapper Keeper.

*Not Really.

**Not technically blasphemy.

Morning After Blues

The post from last night seems a lot more heated than I initially intended, and I don't want to come off as some angry political guy. It's just that sometimes politicians make me so mad I can barely see straight. I get livid, people!

Maybe this will get you back into my good graces.

Let the Inquisition Begin!

David Brooks called it the Liberal Inquisition.

Have the Democrats finally killed all of the celebrities making leftist people look like bumbling idiots? No? Well, then, it's not that serious.

Is it an Inquisition? No? It's only Americans exercising the right to a democratic process, and since when did that become such a mystery to everyone?

Old Joe Liberman is being challenged in his district, and the race is pretty close between the former Vice-Presidential candidate and a rich boy named Ned Lamont up in Connecticut.

If you haven't been paying attention to the race for Joe Lieberman's seat in Connecticut, then you're no different than anybody else.

But, if on the offhand chance you follow politics, you might be literally on the edge of your seat. You see, it's so rare that dinosaurs in Congress get booted from their seats before retirement that it actually makes news when it happens. That's what all the hub-ub is about.

The blogosphere is behind Lamont, who has the profile of a Republican (rich guy, businessman, etc.) and opposes Lieberman on so many issues that all the news will discuss is the war in Iraq. And - hopefully - it will become the big issue this fall. Lieberman is not a good representative for his party and should be ashamed.

He says that, if defeated, he will run as an independent, further splitting the (D) vote and ensuring a Republican victory. If he's such a party guy - ha! great pun - he should bow out gracefully and let someone else be elected. I'm all for somebody fighting for something he believes in, but Lieberman is just pathetically trying to save face these days.

Oh, and back to what David Brooks wrote.

So be it. Let there be an inquisition. If a new guy running against the old fogey is an inquisition - maybe democracy is ia better word for it - then somebody 'specs it. The Democratic Party is filled with losers, crybabies, ineffectual morons, and people with little to no backbone to speak of. I'm so sick of these people not fighting back that I want to throw up on every single one of them. Democrats are being bullied and, though I don't believe in negative campaigning, the old adage is true: you gotta punch the bully right in the mouth so he'll leave you alone. I'm not necessarily supporting the Democrats here, but don't you agree? It's like watching a boxer beat the living crap out of his opponent because the other guy won't put up his hands. I just want to see a good match here.

Don't act so shocked. I'm not the first person to say these things, but they're true.

Kick all of the bums out of the party so that elections will become competitive again. I don't care one way or the other. I'm just so sick of congressmen feeling like they have some sort of entitlement to office because they've served for twenty years. Hell, I think it's reason enough to kick 'em out!