Apr 24, 2007

2nd Place is 1st Awesome - The Writing Contest

I'm a winner, sort of! Today represents the first real indication that my fiction is leading somewhere.

Let me give you all of the news. At first, when I got home last night, I checked my profile and saw that I'd received a few new messages. Turns out, I placed 2nd in an online writing contest called "How Bizzare!"

I was so happy, I could have wet myself.

So, the gal pal and I picked up some celebratory items: cheesecake, beer, her new Simple magazine, and my leftover Japanese food.

Good times, right? Well, when I checked my account again, to revel in having actually placed in something, I found that I had placed 2nd in a Fantasy & Horror contest with another one of my stories. I was elated, to say the least. Not one, but two bits of good information in a single day.

So, for all of you who have been wondering where my time has gone, this is the reason. I've been working on getting published and getting reckognized. You can read my stuff by clicking on the link above. Or by clicking on the "Read My Writing" link below on the table.

Apr 20, 2007

Go See "Hot Fuzz" Cold Turkey

"Hot Fuzz" is opening today, and though it's not a horror movie, Slasher Central is covering it. Why not? Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Nick Frost made one of the best zombie movies in the last two decades with "Shaun of the Dead" in 2004.

The big question coming into "Hot Fuzz" was, Can these guys go chameleon and conquer another genre of movie, in the form of the American action flick?

All appearances say yes. E! Online reviewer Alex Markerson says, "It's hard to imagine having more fun in a theater without being arrested." He gives the movie an A overall. The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive for those guys, and we here at Slasher Central are glad to see that.

Unlike other sites, though, I won't bother to spoonfeed you the plot for the sake of beefing up the post. Suffice it to say that it's "Agatha Christie meets John Woo" (it's what Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg called it on the Morning X).

I'm sure there will be lots of explosions, car chases, and hopefully - because it's Pegg, Wright and Frost - blood. If they can at all replicate the sort of "thinking dude's humor" that they nailed in "Shaun of the Dead" then this should be a must-see.

Opening today.

A Repost from Slasher Central

Apr 18, 2007

It Just Pisses Me Off So Much. . .

. . .That Arrested Development is no longer on the air. Lady Protocol and I have been watching Arrested Development lately, and something about it being canceled really gets under my skin. It may be the fact that it's one of my favorite show ever - probably my favorite comedy show ever - but it also has to do with what got it canceled.

A) FOX's incompetence and B) People who were too interested in American Idol to care. Both of those are sad, if you ask me.

I mean, I guess you can't lament the downfall of a television show, and I won't go into how much I love it, but come on! Arrested Development was just such a smart show.

Oh, well.

On a lighter note, people are calling the more than 5 million e-mails missing from Karl Rove's files the "15 minutes of missing tape" of this era.

How can somebody lose 5 million e-mails. Well, I can tell how it happened this time - rapidly pressing the delete button - but I can't believe that more people aren't outraged.

I mean, really, how much crooked shit can this administration do before people wise up?

Apr 16, 2007

Turn! Turn! Turn! (The World)

So, a lot has been going on in my world in the last few days.

And apparently in the world as a whole, especially today. I can't even imagine the pain that the people in Virginia must be going through at the moment. It's awful.

Beyond that, I don't know how great I feel talking about the successes of my book and such tonight. I did make it to the 60,000 word mark tonight (finally), and I have entered some contests on a writing community to which I belong. I'm excited about the prospect of having people actually read my work, so that's good.

Saving money, paying off debt, all of that. Things are moving ahead. Oh, and an annoying girl from work quit abruptly today, so I guess it's not all bad.

Apr 12, 2007

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

I read Harrison Bergeron in high school. I thought it was a great story, but I also didn't have time to read a great author back then. I was forced to read the classics, old tomes I understood but about which I could have cared less.

But, during my first trip Out West, Spring of 2002, I read Breakfast of Champions on the way back. It was not the first book I ever read which changed the way I thought about life, but it was probably the most important in my overall development.

Kurt Vonnegut passed away last night in Manhattan. He was 84. On another, similar yet unrelated, note, I entered a writing contest for the first time in my career. I only hope that it was not that fact which ultimately killed Mr. Vonnegut.

I think he would have appreciated that joke. God bless you, Mr. Vonnegut.

Apr 11, 2007

Yay! Humor About Red-Staters

There's a guy on a web site called Renew America - I'm not kidding - who's talking about the new Kevin Smith "horror" movie, Red State.

Here's a little tidbit:

Red State, huh? Can you just guess what that means? "Red" as in Republican, "horror" as in the horror of Conservative ideals? Along with another Smith attack on religion, I can imagine how badly he is going to treat the average American in "flyover" country with this one.

I can just imagine this guy - there's a picture of him on the blog itself - with one of those super-deep Southern accents. I'm not picking on the guy, but he seems to have a major problem with filmmakers. I guess of the NOT Steven Segal type.

I'm sorry, but I get so sick of the way that Southerners say they get misrepresented in the media. I'm a Southerner and, personally, I don't feel offended by most representations. People still talk about the imminent "Rise of the South", Vote Republican, and refuse to believe in Evolution.

Also, the new movie by Kevin Smith is sort of about Fred Phelps, the biggest bigot in the whole country. If you don't know Fred Phelps, he's the preacher/proprietor of godhatesfags.com - I refuse to link to it - and he and his "posse" like to go to the funerals of soldiers who have died in Iraq. To taunt them. I'm not kidding.

So, to me, if you defend Fred Phelps, you're a closet queen. That's the worst insult I could come up for you homophobes.

I Guess I'll Have to Talk About Don Imus, Too

Personally, I'm not horrified by what Don Imus said. I have come to expect that sort of thing from him, and it doesn't surprise me. He's the same as Rush Limbaugh or any of the right-wing piggies who often have denigrating things to say about Blacks in this country.

I don't get it; it doesn't surprise me.

Now, I definitely disagree with what he said. He attempted to make a bad joke, step over the line for comic effect, and he most certainly did one of those things. As Patrice O'Neal said yesterday, "he bombed." It wasn't funny, not in the least, and he should most definitely apologize to the girls of the Rutgers Basketball Team.

And maybe he will get fired. But I will argue that what he said has actually been positive, in a way. His ignorance has shown that people just don't tolerate that nonsense anymore. It's not an inside joke for whites to pick on blacks, and I'm glad.

Don Imus may lose his job over this, also. That he said something so dumb and racist is bad. That people have responded positively is good. It has caused a media flap, and with good reason. But I also think that this shows we are making progress as a country. We'll always have people who oppose it, but I think in the end we're all moving forward.

Have a good day!

Apr 10, 2007

Be My Friend on MySpace!

I've been doing a lot of updating to the MySpace page over the past few days, and if you would like to be my friend, just visit:


I'm really proud of the work I've been doing to it. I only wish that I could modify the Jinx Protocol blog page a little more. Ideally, I'd like to turn it into a 3-column blog, so that my many, many, many links could be viewable from both sides, rather than one crappy column. It's a waste of a whole third of the page. Don't you think?

Anyway, I hit the 50,000 word mark last night in the book! Yep, the third novel is going well, and I hope to be done with the first draft by the end of the month.

Also, I think I might try to write a quickie story for the 1st Best Horror Writer Contest on WritersCafe. I just don't know that I could crank out something that would place in, oh, about two days.

But maybe I'll try.

Apr 8, 2007

I Want a Liger

Just a thought.

Also, I have a post on global warming just below this. You know, just for substance on the site.

Just Watched: An Inconvenient Truth

I just got finished with An Inconvenient Truth - OnDemand is great - and I have to say that my views haven't changed, but they have definitely been reinforced.

Like, it definitely wasn't a wow movie for me, because I already support VP Gore's plight.

Watching it did make me think that perhaps other people should wake up to this problem. I mean, who doesn't think we are at least partially to blame at this point?

I mean, there are people who think that methane gas produced by cows is as big a threat as CO2. Now, I know that downplaying CO2 is a big part of denial, but come on.

What is easier? Ridding the world of car exhaust, or lowering emissions from bovines? I would think the latter, not the former, would be easier. I'm not trying to downplay cow exhaust - ha! - but we've always had cows, horses, etc. We've not always had cars, so I would guess that cars are more integral to preserving the balance we have in nature.

Of course, I know people who think that Global Warming is bunk. Yeah, I know. You should be surprised that I'm friends with Republicans.

Just kidding.

Apr 6, 2007

Today Was a Good Day - Thanks, Ice Cube

Well, today didn't really have anything to do with the formerly great rap artist, but I did, in fact, have a great afternoon/evening.

First of all, I got to leave work early - I begged off of work - to go see the new QT/RR double feature Grindhouse.

In two words: Fan Tastic.

I really liked both movies. AND the trailers in between, which I have been raving about incessantly. Well, the movie exceeded expectations on all fronts, which was great. It was gory and funny and tongue-in-cheek. Sheer fan stuff, but if you like horror, this is the place for you. I loved it, for God's sake!

And then I went out with my friend Bendy. Bendy, it should be noted, is a composite of my friends Ben and Wendy. Anyway, we went to Wild Wing Cafe and got a platter of wings. 25 wings; 5 wings with five flavors. It was great.

See, here's the thing you might not know about me. I love hot food. Spicy is awesome. SO, tonight, I convinced Ben to order five of the Braveheart wings. They're the hottest flavor that Wild Wing Cafe has, so it's customary that I get them.

Needless to say, they were impressively warm and hit the spot.

But, alas, I'm about to hit the hay. I've got a long day at work tomorrow. Tomorrow is the annual G-Day game for the UGA Bulldogs, and they have a scrimmage in the Spring. So, working at a bookstore which sells Bulldawg apparel, I am obligated to work on said day. Boo.

GrindHouse - Also, Taco Bell's Beans!!!

Okay, so I've been looking forward to the new Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez collaboration since it was announced sometime last year.

Two of my favorite directors making cheap, 70s-style schlock? What's not to love there?

But seriously, the movie looks like it's going to be full of debauched fun. Although I want to look at the current reviews, I'm trying to hold off. The Yahoo! Movies section has it as a B overall, but I don't know that it's accurate. I mean, come on. This is a purely genre movie(s)(?), so you can't really quantify it with an objective score, I don't think.

Anyway, that's the fanboy coming out in me.

Yesterday, I partook in some delicious - and supremely unhealthy - Taco Bell for lunch. I try to eat fast food once to twice a week for the strange things it does to my body.

But, until yesterday, I had no idea just how bad it is for you. Well, I did and I didn't. I've seen Supersize Me, and I know the dangers of eating fast food over and over. I'm sort of a healthy guy, so it is kept to a minimum for me.

But yesterday, when I got back to work, I mentioned what I'd gotten - a "few" cheesy bean and rice burritos - and almost had a heart attack when I saw how much each has in calories, fat, etc.

490 calories, 22 g fat, etc. Might as well have been a million! I freak out all the time - it's just how I cope - and this sent me into a health shock. I mean, yeah, cheese isn't that good for you, but I didn't think beans would be the death of me.

This is how I came to the conclusion that the beans are the killer: the plain bean burrito has 12g fat! I know they're refried and all, but the refried beans that I get from the store - Vegetarian beans - have only about 1g fat per can. What the hell are they doing to these beans, man?! You could cook those in pure lard and nt get that sort of result. Jesus.

I resolved that if I ever eat Taco Bell again - who am I kidding - that I just have to get the cheesy-bean-and-rice burrito, hold the beans. The cheese and rice will have to suffice, I suppose, as they are the healthier of the two ingredients in that concoction.


Apr 4, 2007

Working Hard, not Hardly Working

There's so much going on in the world right now that I hardly have the time to comment on it all. The Bush Administration is crumbling around Dick Cheney. Luckily, Bush hasn't really had enough to do with it to warrant any sort of criminal investigation.

The Supreme Court has finally upheld a ruling on the way Bush and his cronies have (mis)treated the environment. I bet Robert F. Kennedy is throwing a Happy Fit somewhere still, even a few days after the fact.

Alberto Gonzales and Karl Rove might be out of work this year (as if they've ever done any in the first place)! I'm on fire tonight!

I have no joke for the Pat Tillman thing. It's just sad that he died in Friendly Fire, which, according to David Cross, is the most unfortunate euphemism. I agree.

But yeah, there's a lot going on, to say the least. I'm not positive about this, I'm really not. It's a shame that the office of the president has been sullied like this. But do any of you get the feeling that the bully's secret is finally out? Like, it's been revealed that the one kid in school who always made everyone else feel stupid can't read, or something?

Phew. For a long time there, I thought this administration was bulletproof. I'm glad/not glad that it's not.

What's confounding my sadness is that I'm reading a book called The Price of Loyalty. It's about the Bush Cabal, starting with its inception in 2000. Gosh! We had such a great f*cking chance to save Social Security, change the tax system, fund education, give a 1 trillion dollar tax cut, and then have some money left over. Oh, Jesus, that makes me so mad/sad/cynical.

So that's what I'm going through right now. I know I promised that I wouldn't talk politics as much, but this just had to be said.

Oh, but on a lighter note, I'm 140 pages - or 42,000 words - into the third book. I'm going to attempt to have it done by the end of the month. I've been pacing myself at 2,500 words a day. That's 75,000 words a month, or nearly an entire novel a month. If I could write 6 books this year, I'd be stoked.

But anyway. I hope you all are doing well.

Apr 1, 2007

Piven Banned from Nobu; 'Nobu for You' says Owner

I heard about this a few days ago from my roommate and I thought that it would make a pretty nice piece, since I'm a fan of Jeremy Piven's.

Apparently, Piven took 12 or so of his best friends to one of the most exclusive restaurants in Aspn, Nobu Sushi.

According to Defamer:

"He came in with a large group of 12 or more without reservations and asked for a table. It was a very busy night, but a table, although cramped, was provided. On his way out, he made a nasty comment to the manager: 'Thanks for nothing.'"

Piven was at the HBO-sponsored festival to appear on a panel with fellow "Entourage" stars. Allegedly his tip also left something to be desired.

"He left a DVD of the first year of 'Entourage' to one of the waiters. [An employee] ran up the stairs and hurled it at him as he was leaving."

That's sad, because I really like[d] Jeremy Piven. I thought he'd be different, maybe, since he's been struggling at getting to fame for so long. Oh well. That's what I get.

At least he didn't leave a DVD copy of Judgement Night or Very Bad Things on the table. That would have sent to wrong message, I think.

You Know What Really Irritates Me?

All right. Here's an interestingly personal issue that really drives me crazy, and I hate to say it, but it's an entirely important thing.

Or so I thought.

I've always had the perception that education - or learning - all implies the same thing. I always thought growing up that having a secondary education would involve people who all held the same belief: that education was important.

Boy, was I wrong.

At least in the state of Georgia. I hate that my own personal assessment of the intellectual world was so off that no one really cares about what happens in the world, and what is right or wrong. That really disappoints me.

Now, tonight's incident is an entirely subjective and unimportant issue, but it speaks volumes for the world around us, and - frankly - it pisses me off. I'm so entirely sick of college students, especially those attending the most popular state school in Georgia, making a mockery of education by being so oblivious to the truth.

Now, what happened tonight was so minute that it doesn't matter, but it's such a significant symptom of the disease that is anti-intellectualism that I can't ignore it.

Again, I'm sorry.

At a party tonight, someone mentioned something about a bridge. I, as always, disputed what was said, calling the structure an "overpass" and not a "bridge". One girl, who shall remain nameless, said that it was an overpass. In fact, she insisted that it was a bridge, and, when a few other people agreed with her, she resolved that she was right.

Fine, I said, and I wen to look it up. Pretensious, I know, but that's just the way that I am. If something is going to get contentious, I just want to know the facts about it. What harm is there in that?

Well, when I found out the difference, which is minute but still present, I walked outside and said something about it. The party involved said, "Oh, we're so over that topic," as if if were never up for discussion in the first place.

Arrrrrgggghhhhh! I hate conscious anti-intellectualism. People who go to college should not be so lazy, especially when it comes to knowing something. Now, the person in question is not necessarily that smart in the first place, but I expected more out of my fellow academics.

And, to end this post, it's not that she was said way tonight; no, indeed, she has been that way about just about anything in which she has no knowledge, which covers a great number of topics.

It drives me crazy, and I hate it. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I feel. Wait, I'm just about to go back out there and cause more trouble. Wish me luck.

Have a good Saturday night.