Dec 18, 2008

Blood Meridian

I'm reading Cormac McCarthy's wonderful novel, Blood Meridian. My favorite quote so far:

Before man was, war waited for him.

That is all.

Dec 17, 2008

The Year in...Friendship

As some of you may know, my apartment was burglarized several weeks ago. All the vandals made off with was my xbox 360 and some games. Not much in the way of material goods, but they cost me something harder to replace: peace of mind and faith in humanity. Something you may not know is that my family's a bit dysfunctional, full of halves, steps, erratic behavior, strained relationships and severe psychoses. Because of that, I've always put a higher value on friendship. These are the people I've chosen to be part of my life, not simply inherited at birth. I love my closest friends as I would my own kin, but every now and then you forget how wonderful and valuable friendship can be. I was so down about the burglary and my family's ruined Thanksgiving that I lost sight of the power of friendship. But, thanks to a cadre of my most boon companions, including KTL and Jinx, I've had all that restored.

You see, they all got together and replaced the things that were stolen. Now, as happy as that makes me, it is nothing in comparison to what else they replaced. They restored my faith in humanity and reaffirmed my value in friendship. These are all special people to me and I hope they know that. It is definitely an amazing group of people we have collected into this friendship. We have created bonds that are still strong, years after college and nearing 30. We are spread from Athens to ATL, to Baltimore and Pennsylvania and on to New York. Though we are scattered, we remain bonded in one thing: friendship. And really, when it's all said and done, that is more valuable than any trinket or material possession.

I had something taken from me and these guys rallied and helped me get it back. They also gave me a reason to take pause and think about how much they mean to me. Xbox's come and go, friendship is forever.

To everyone involved - Thank You, from the bottom of my heart. I know you have my back, and you know I have yours. We truly are brothers and I hope we are more appreciative of that as time goes on. Remember the good, forgive the bad, and always be there for the one that's down.

As Clete Purcell would say, "Good guys forever"-

Japanese Goblin Shart...I mean Shark

Dec 16, 2008

The Year In.....College Football

First off, thanks to Jinx for giving me a guest-post opportunity. Second, let me tell you how sad I am that football season is wearing down. It's a cloud hanging over me as early December comes - the void between the regular season and the bowls. Football's what I love, and it's what I want to share with you today.

Football is the greatest of all sports, and that's saying a lot when you consider just how many sports there actually are in the world. It exists in its greatest form at the college level, where talent and passion balance themselves perfectly. It is a world where young men would sacrifice everything they have - the sweat of effort, their bones, blood and sinew - to gain one inch of turf if it brings them closer to their goal, whether that be the end zone, the NFL or simply glory. It is a world I love to watch; to be a spectator, a learned watcher who follows the game (sometimes through a heavy alcohol haze) and feeds off it's energy. I am happiest in autumn, when toe meets leather, the leaves begin to fall, the bourbon warms the belly and friends and football mingle together as close to perfection as possible. It is truly glorious. I obviously enjoy this world, and can appreciate any game that takes place in it. But only a few of these games will be remembered by the many, re-hashed by the analysts and recorded as "that game when" or "the one where." It is with this in mind I pick my greatest games of 2008. Enjoy.

Top-5:

1. Florida 31, Alabama 20 - I know it's high praise for an 11-point game, but you understand if you watched it. If you didn't, shame on you. Alabama setting the tone with their fundamental approach, holding a lead late, but Tebow willing his team to the victory as the fourth wore on. Glorious.

2. Texas 45, Oklahoma 35 - The Sooners went up early, the 'Horns came back. Leads swapped through the third until OU began pulling away. But the Colt was too much, winning with his head, arm and legs. Too bad the BCS has since rendered this particular RRR pointless.

3. Texas Tech 39, Texas 33 - I guess it's not all the BCS' fault. If Texas could have won this when they should have, OU would be destined for the Fiesta. But, playing man on Crab is prideful and foolish, and we all know what pride comes before.

4. Oregon State 27, USC 21 - Oh, the mighty Men of Troy and their leader, Pete "He-who-loses-the-little-one" Carrol. They always flop somewhere and their odd early 2 bye weeks set them up to be chopped down by the little Rodgers brothers like so many redwoods. All hail the quarkback.

5. Notre Dame 27, Navy 21 - This one almost had it all - onside kicks, deep passes late and a dramatic comeback for the underdog Middies. Though it was not to be, it sure was fun to watch, especially as a wake-up call in the face of the defensive shot of Novocaine that was UGA-AU.

The Back Half:

6. USF 37, Kansas 34 - Gutsy QB's pushing their teams down the stretch. Advantage Grothe.

7. Kansas 40, Missouri 37 - The same, but also the opposite. Advantage, Reesing.

8. Arkansas 31, LSU 30 - Casey Dick's late TD holds up as QB troubles bag the Bengals.

9. Georgia Tech 45, Georgia 42 - The triple option takes the temp0 in the second half as the Dawgs' D collapses.

10. Ole Miss 31, Florida 30 - For it's responsibility in unleashing Hell (i.e. pissed-off Tebow).

The Blowouts:
Just for fun, here are the games where the dead horses were drug out around the opening kick and beaten early and often.

Tarheels establish themselves as contenders-
UNC 44, Rutgers 12

Florida wins the East-
Fla 49, UGA 10

Rutgers climbs back-
Rut 63, L'ville 14

Sooners put pirates in their place-
Oklahoma 65, Texas Tech 21

The Obvious Ones-
Oklahoma or Florida anytime the last few weeks, really

The Year in...Videogames

Comparing videogames is tough. Are exclusives better than games availabe on multiple systems? What if I only have a PS3/XBox 360/Wii? Are console games better than their portable brethren? What about PC games? Who cares? If you played any of the following games (and there's one for every system), you were guaranteed a great time. (Note: Gaming is very subjective. I'm not a big fan of sports games, any game that emphasizes multiplayer over single player, or Grand Theft Auto. Natch, you won't find any on this list.)

5. Devil May Cry 4 (PS3/XBox 360). This horror/fantasy series has it all. Super-fast, bloody combat; big, big boobs; and gorgeous, hi def action. Don't worry if you haven't played the first three; you will as soon as you finish 4.

4. Super Smash Brothers Brawl (Wii). Not as addicting as GameCube's Melee, but Nintendo's "shouldn't work but it does" brawling mashup matches everyone from Mario to Solid Snake in fisticuffs. Kirby's the man!

3. Fallout 3 (PS3/XBox 360/PC). I'd grown weary of Final Fantasy-type, high fantasy RPGs, but Fallout 3 is no Square. As a survivor of the nuclear holocaust, you traipse across the most fully-realized post-apocalypse ever. You can choose to be good or bad. I went for a Mad Max sort of anti-hero, refusing to hurt the innocent but prepared to kill anyone who asked for it. Absolutely absorbing.

2. Bioshock (PS3). This PS3 port would have been number 1 had it not been available on XBox 360 and PC for a year. Atmospheric. Immersive. Frightening. Imaginative. Compelling. Bioshock is the greatest original game (i.e. not from an established franchise) I've played in years.

1. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3). MGSIV would have been the year's best film were it not the year's best videogame. (David Hayter gave the super-heroic performance of the year.) Creator Hideo Kojima nailed the concluding chapter to the greatest videogame story of all-time. The mythology behind MGS is as labyrinthine as "Lost" and a lot cooler. (The downloadable Metal Gear Solid Database is complete and compulsive. I'm spent hours divesting it of its secrets.) The only knock on it is that it's almost as interactive as a movie. In other words, you spend a lot of time watching rather than playing.

Honorable mentions: Dead Space (EA has a new survival horror hit and a potential franchise goldmine); Resistance 2; Spore

Best Value (unless you own a Wii or PS2): Rock Band 2/Guitar Hero: World Tour (PS3, XBox 360, Wii, PS2). Who doesn't want to be a rock star? Either of these games can make those dreams come true. And with new DLC dropping every week, these are the games that keep on giving. If only they'd add more Journey and KISS.

Biggest Disappointment: Little Big Planet (PS3). Jinx may disagree, but he got to play the damn game. I tried two copies and couldn't get either to work.

Best Non-game: Wii Fit (Wii). Get fit and have fun.

Best Handheld Game: God of War: Chains of Olympus (PSP). Kratos kicks ass on any platform. You dig?

Downloadable Content (in other words, if you don't have it, buy it now):
4. The Last Guy
3. Mega Man 9 (PSN/XBox Live)
2. Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People (WiiWare)
1. Rock Band/Guitar Hero: World Tour (PSN/XBox Live). Take your pick. There's something for everyone. Except your cousin who only likes country. And that guy at the local record store.

Dec 13, 2008

Top Five Albums of the Year

I just read Stephen King's top ten albums of the year, and I have a different architectural dance, so I thought I would include it here. I'm not saying his is bad, just different.

I have to say, though, that 2008 was a hit-or-miss year in music. It wasn't awe-inspiring, but there were a couple of awe-inspiring albums (and a few surprises).


5. The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely

I think that the first Raconteurs album was good. It was catchy and fuzzy but for some reason didn't stick.

"Consolers", however, does. Maybe the Appalachian feel of each track draws me in, like ghosts from the Civil War pumping fuzzed-out guitars through speaker stacks at one helluva party. It's an album that is nostalgic and catchy in its conception but one that needs a couple of listens, also. It is not a concept album, but a golden thread runs through the entire thing, reminding you every once in a while that it belongs in the Dust Bowl and Shea Stadium all at the same time. Excellent.

The climax of the album is its final track, a murder ballad called "Carolina Drama", more of a short story put to music than an actual song. If you don't like it the first time through, the la la la la, la la la las will bring you back in. I promise.

4. The Black Kids - Partie Traumatic

Comparing any band to The Cure is probably never a good idea - can anybody really compare to Robert Smith, anyway? - but in The Black Kids' case, it's not necessarily a death omen. "Partie" is a fun, sarcastic, witty album. I don't know that I heard something so infatuated with British pop this year. Even though the band is ostensibly from Jacksonville, Florida, Reggie Youngblood's faux-British wail is entirely convincing. Please listen to "Hit the Heartbrakes" at least once.


3. Metallica - Death Magnetic

While only in the top two-thirds of Metallica albums, Death Magnetic represents an almost Atlanta Falcons-esque turnaround for the band after the disaster that was the last seven (!) years. If the band weren't Metallica, would this be on my top five? Probably not. But what makes this album what it is is the fact that it is Metallica. Is.

There's no argument on this side of the keyboard that "Death" rehashes earlier Metallica themes: war, death, political malfeasance, ironic anger, all of that stuff that makes for a good Metallica album. Really, it's sort of like The Rolling Stones' "A Bigger Bang": a victory lap. These guys proved they could rock again, and they get credit from me. In fact, I find it to be the best of the big rock albums of 2008, better than GNR's latest and AC/DC's "Black Ice".

2. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Dig, Lazarus, Dig!

There are moments on "Lazarus" that are vintage Cave. "Lie Down Here (and Be My Girl)" sounds like "Murder Ballads" and the song "Deanna" had dirty, forbidden sex. I definitely prefer the newest release from Cave to albums like "No More Shall We Part", which was very good but overly depressing. "Lazarus" is more dynamic than anything the band has done in years.


1. Juno - The Soundtrack

Now, this selection is controversial on more than one account. One, it was (sort of) released in December of 2007. But not really. It was really released on CD on January 8, 2008, so I'll count it. Secondly, it is a soundtrack and not an album by a singular artist or band. But that's sort of how I feel about music in 2008 as a whole. It was a year of singles and catchy tunes competing to come out on top, a virtual pop slobberknocker of a year. And Juno came out on top.

It's a selection that won't please the hipsters or whatever faction constitutes the opposite of hipsters. It's a cop-out, sort of, and I accept that. But it is a damn fine collection of songs. Most people remember the Kimya Dawson tunes - like "Tire Swing" and "So Nice So Smart" - but there are other gems on there. Barry Louis Polisar's "All I Want is You" (which plays over the introductory credits) is excellent.

To take it away from the music for a bit and talk about the actual selection of the music, it's interesting to note that Ellen Page convinced Jason Reitman to use Kimya Dawson's music in the movie. Diablo Cody had Juno listening to, I don't know, something 80s-ish in the script, but Ellen Page, in thinking about the character, thought she would listen to something a little more earnest and yet sarcastic simultaneously. The result is a collection of new-folk tunes that people didn't know they would like.

Other great selections include: "A Well-Respected Man" by The Kinks (Which I can't seem to run down on Rhapsody) and "Sea of Love" by Cat Power.


The Bonuses

Protest the Hero - Fortress

The only reason this didn't make it into THE TOP FIVE is that I just recently got into this band. A guy at work recommended them to me, and I resisted, because the band name suggests that they sound like Rise Against, a group that doesn't impress me.

Obviously, the name doesn't do this album justice. It's a new-prog sort of thing, like Coheed and Cambria but way more metal. The guitar playing is impeccable. You would think that so much distortion would just sound like sludge, but it's actually very precise and clear. Listen to the first track, "Bloodmeat."

Guns N Roses - Chinese Democracy

Okay, so I won't talk about whether or not Chinese Democracy is "14 years good", as is the standard among fanboys all over the internet. It isn't, but that's not the point. It is a very good to pretty excellent record, even for Guns N Roses, and a solid offering for 2008. "Shackler's Revenge", especially, is a pretty tough track. "IRS" and the title track are also pretty awesome, but I can't help but feel like something is missing from it.

It's almost as if "Chinese Democracy" and The "Use Your Illusion" albums should be switched in the time line, you know? I'm not talking about quality here but length and creativity. Okay, so I broke the rule from the beginning of the review. It's just funny that "Illusions" is (as a whole) underrated for GNFNR and yet it's so damned creative. A double album! I don't know. Maybe a double album of Guns N Roses stuff wouldn't have been welcome in 2008. Anyway.

While I miss Slash, Duff, and Izzy (but not Matt Sorum) as much as the next guy, I think the line-up - a contingent at least as big as those pushing for true democracy in China - is perfect for this album. Robin Finck and Buckethead pull some pretty astounding guitar work out of what I can only imagine to be intense (and intensely awkward) recording sessions. If you don't like the review, I'm sorry for you, not sorry for me.

My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges

There are plenty of good moments on this record, including "Highly Suspicious", which showcases one of the biggest disparities between verse and chorus of any song I've ever heard. One part Prince; One part Cookie Monster; One part paranoid psychotic. Great album.

Honorable Mentions:

Singles:
Hard Sun - Eddie Vedder (From the Into the Wild Soundtrack)
I never listened to the entire album, but this track is amazing.
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
Too catchy for its own good (and indicative of the sort of timid, pseudo-closeted-Joe-Francis-lesbianism one can find in downtown Athens on weekend-by-weekend basis[It's like a PG Girls Gone Wild]), this song ruled my life for about a week.
A-Punk - Vampire Weekend
I didn't think that the album matched up with the single, but it's still pretty good. A-Punk is its crown jewel, though, and deserves to be mentioned.
MGMT - Time to Pretend
Extremely catchy garage-y electro-pop.
Weezer - Pork and Beans
One of the silliest songs they've done. Thanks. I eat the candy with my pork and beans. Awesome.
M.I.A. - Paper Planes
The song was everywhere, and the chorus makes me feign shooting someone. It deserves to be on this list.

Dec 11, 2008

Where Did Morality Originate?

I've taken a purposeful hiatus from blogging. The final stretch of coursework here at UGA has been stressful, so - like the teeming masses - I had to let go of a few habits I could not afford to keep up.

But now I have something I want to talk about, so I'm back.

Evolution. Now, I have to preface this post by saying that I am not a scientist. I'm a mere observer (and, sometimes, a bad one). But I have become interested in science - evolutionary biology, to be exact - and I'm only in the beginning stages of learning about the principles of EB.

For example, I learned this past weekend that we, in fact, did not evolve from chimpanzees (or any other modern simian) but only share a similar ancestor. In fact, there is another ape (and I will use that term loosely) that is as close a relative to us as the chimp. I. Did. Not. Know. That.

It may sound idiotic that I thought we evolved from chimpanzees. Well, it was. I assumed that, since we share about 98% of our DNA, somehow that translated that in my mind to equating us as evolutionary sons of the similar-looking beings. It is not the case. There was a great genetic divergence about five million years ago, when the first modern-ish hominids began to appear.

But that is all background noise for what interests me today. I've been reading some scientific blogs lately - thankfully written (mostly) in lay terms for idiots like myself - and while perusing a sit today, I found a few facts out that relate to a discussion I had with a couple of friends earlier in the football season. The question is vexing and has stuck in my craw for the last few months.

The question is: if morality did not begin with the proliferation of religion, then where did it come from?

Now, saying that there is an innate morality doesn't make for a good argument. Plus, that's not a satisfying answer. Furthermore, where does that innate morality come from? And so on and so forth.

Well, I have a semi-researched answer to that question, and it has to do with evolution and genetics. Up to this point, the argument has been mostly philosophical. One of the great roadblocks to coming to a conclusion is the question: Where did we get the idea that murder, rape, etc. is not acceptable? A friend of ours argues that, if not for religion (or God, I suppose) we would not possess these supposedly innate tools of society.

However, one of the tenets of the argument is that evolution supports the "survival of the fittest". Most people, including myself until recently, equated the saying with the Business principle context, that survivor = aggressor. Philosophically, it makes sense. The big guy at the end of the bar, with no sense of moral responsibility, clobbers everybody with his pistol. Thus, he ends up with the girl (albeit by raping her, but still).

But that's not necessarily how natural selection works. Look around at all of the emo kids in your town. Not aggro. Empirical evidence, in that respects, disproves the philosophical underpinning of that theory. In the words of Michael Le Page, "On the contrary, it can mean anything from the best camouflaged or the most fecund to the cleverest or the most cooperative. Forget Rambo, think Einstein or Gandhi."

So, with that thought in mind, I'd like to move to genetic dispersal. I argue that the dispersal of morality occurred over millions of years through the copulation of less aggressive people. Dispositions can be passed down through genetics, and the fittest can mean just about anything, in that context. Over time, people who shared these beliefs became dominant. In that respect, I think the gradual climb to cognitive, "innate" morality is fairly shallow.

In the "where does it come from" question, that's the best answer I can come up with. I don't think morality appeared. Just like the eye and toenail and anger, it evolved. I think. But that's just my hypothesis.

Nov 28, 2008

Happy Sky

Saudi TV - How to Beat Your Wife

These people are so progressive.

Nov 27, 2008

GTA IV - Naked Gun Intro

Nov 23, 2008

You Weren't In That?

This Guy is Accidentally Racist

Nov 19, 2008

Chicken Police?

Something to Think About Before Bailing Out "American" Plants

The not-so-big three are certainly are no less global than, say, Honda. General Motors gets 44% of its revenue from other countries and Ford gets 53%, according to Forbes (April 21). A German company, Daimler-Benz, still owns a fifth of Chrysler, and a group of affluent private investors owns the rest.

An “American” brand tells you little about where all the parts in a car are made. I was once at a dinner with Lee Iaccoca where I teased him about my Dodge Stealth, made in Japan by Mitsubishi. Similarly, today’s Chevy Aveo is imported from Daewoo in South Korea. Yet Hyundai has a plant in Alabama.

Cars.com found only four cars and six light trucks with a domestic content (meaning US or Canadian) above 75%. That list includes the Toyota Tundra and Sienna and the Honda Odyssey. Other Honda’s have a 60-70% domestic content, barely missing the cut.

The “Detroit” metaphor for primarily domestic vehicles is also inappropriate. Among the remaining seven vehicles with a very high domestic content, three are made outside Michigan —the Chevy Malibu from Kansas and Cobalt from Ohio, and the Ford Explorer from Kentucky. Ford’s F-150 truck might be made in Michigan or Missouri, the Chevy Silverado in Michigan or Indiana.

Source: The Cato Institute

[Sings] Some Guys Have All the Luck

Nov 18, 2008

From Oddee.com




Nov 14, 2008

White People



I had to shrink the pic down to get it to fit in the blog, so you might want to click on it to get a better looking version. What's funny is that, in its original size, only the first two panels showed! Unintentional racism!

Nov 11, 2008

GhostBusters 3

Nov 7, 2008

Respect Zoo Instructions










Nov 5, 2008

The Republicans Have Thrown Sarah Palin Under the Bus

I didn't want to do anymore election stuff, but I thought this was poignant. Even FOX News has begun to report that 'she didn't know Africa was a continent'.

Nov 4, 2008

The Night the Lights Went On in Georgia?


I thought about blogging the presidential results tonight, but that would be pointless. With the way the 'pun-dents' are talking about it, this thing might rage on into the holidays. Well, maybe not. But tonight is going to be a LOOOOOOONG night, even if Obama has it wrapped up early. For anyone who even vaguely remember 2004 (or 2000), Ohio will drag its ass on counting and we won't find out until tomorrow morning who the president is.

This is barring the possibility that Barack Obama - a black dude - might take my home state. GEORGIA. Yeah, right, you might be saying. Sitting in your ivory tower. Well, to quote my favorite mummy Lee Corso, not so fast my friend.

Earlier last week, Real Clear Politics - one of the throngs of polling sites on the internet - showed a race within the margin of error in Georgia. McCain 49.5. Obama 45. That is ASTOUNDING, especially for a state that went, I don't know 70-30 in 2004 (with John Kerry winning only 22 percent of the white vote).

One of the other indicators of a squeaker here is the fact that nearly two million early votes were cast in this election, which is nearly 60% of the total votes cast in 2004. And the 2 million early votes is a record for the state. That benefits Obama, who, by all appearances, has been leading by a margin of nearly ten points in early ballots.

All of this is obviously early, and I have no idea if the race will be even remotely close down here, but it would be nice to see that Georgia isn't the absolute most backwards state in the Union (I'm looking at YOU, Mississippi). So far no exit polls have been released, so there is no data to support any of the claims I have made. Basically, I've just participated in the echo chamber that plagues modern media. Sorry.

GObama. GO Biden.

I Don't Know But It Sure Is Gross

Left 4 Dead Gameplay - Zombie Attack!

The Return of the Woolly Mammoth

Scientists are now claiming that the potential to revive the woolly mammoth species is now entirely possible.

Sort of.

Frozen Mammoths - like the one pictured right - could unlock the key to cloning them in the future. Jurassic Park, anyone? The problem is that, often, DNA is damaged by ice crystals when animals are frozen. However, recent experiments, in which mice frozen for sixteen years were cloned, prove that it is not an unreachable endgame to clone extinct species of animals.

Craziness.

Source: The Telegraph UK

Nov 3, 2008

Gee-it Out!

Oct 30, 2008

Monster Mash - I Thought It Was Evil Whiskey

Here's a cool video someone did for the Boris Pickett song, 'Monster Mash', just in time for Halloween. Since I'll be in Jacksonville over this most sacred holiday, I'll have to front load the material of the blog. There's also a new Angry Video Game Nerd video on Frankenstein posted online.

The Shining Street Art

Oct 29, 2008

God Hates Signs

This has been a month replete with pictures. I've become obsessed with finding strange stuff on the web and posting it here (mostly from Reddit.com). The picture at the bottom is just another in a long line of strange photos I'll be posting in the future.



These people - save for the smart one - are from Westboro Baptist Church, an organization that puts homosexuality at the top of its sin hit list.

Oct 28, 2008

Funny Church Signs







On 'Spreading the Wealth' and Adam Smith

In an article on The New Yorker Web Site - I know - the author, Steve Coll, points to a paragraph in Adam Smith's writings to back up Barack Obama's Socialist new tax policy:

The necessaries of life occasion the great expense of the poor. . . . The luxuries and vanities of life occasion the principal expense of the rich, and a magnificent house embellishes and sets off to the best advantage all the other luxuries and vanities which they possess. . . . It is not very unreasonable that the rich should contribute to the public expense, not only in proportion to their revenue, but something more than in that proportion.


John McCain's campaign is just desperate to paint Obama as The Other. Well, I guess the campaign is just desperate in general. But there are only a few epithets left, man. The Klan members who make up the audiences at Palin rallies have begun calling Obama a nigger, as opposed to terrorist or socialist or Muslim or whatever backhanded racist term they can come up with.

Small town values, eh?

N-Word At Palin Rally




...And even MORE racism!

Just When You Thought It Was Save to Vote...

Oct 27, 2008

Ferocious Battle: Puppy V. Lion Cub




Me In Fifth Grade

Sarah Palin: 2012

If you thought next Tuesday might bring an end to the 'you betchas' and 'pitbull hockey mom' nonsense, then brace yourself. People are already talking Palin 2012. She's begun to distance herself from the McCain campaign so that she's not singlehandedly to blame for its (seemingly) eventual crash-and-burn.

Fear and Respect that Roller Coaster

Oct 24, 2008

FAIL



Apparently, she just made all this shit up.

Oct 23, 2008

Friday the 13th - Remake Teaser Trailer

Friday the 13th Teaser 2009

Cute and Cuddly Animals!

Giant Spider Eats Bird:
Below is a giant spider eating a bird in Australia. I didn't need to tell you that, though, did I? You can read the entire story here. Not that you probably need to be told this, either, but spiders catching and eating birds in the wild is extremely rare. And unsettling.



And a seal eating a shark...Just kidding. I hope no one has an aversion to this sort of thing, but I found it to be infinitely interesting. That shark's got some ups, man. I don't know that I've ever seen a shark go quite that high in the air. Next step on the evolutionary staircase: Flying Sharks. Holy shit that would be scary!



I saved my favorite for last. I call this, Leopard Completely Dismantling a Crocodile. That's what you get for being out of the water, bitch!

Oct 22, 2008

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

My Favorite Three Seconds. Ever.

Dexter - Awesome

I Can't Imagine A President Being Named Obama



And as names, Grover, Teddy, Ulysses, Rutherford, and Millard are all okay?

The gist of this woman's argument is that, being lower-middle class, she's afraid that the Obama economic plan would raise taxes and not give some relief on capital gains for her investments, and overall would devalue the dollar in the country and around the world, resulting in a stagnant economy that might take a decade to repair with Public Works project she herself wouldn't support.

Nah, she's a xenophobic racist evangelical. NJoy.

Oct 21, 2008

Will Ferrell & Dave Grohl

It's Almost Getting Sad



Now, I know that there are ignorant Obama/Biden supporters, but apparently Republicans don't have video cameras.

I only posted this video because of the redneck asshole who put an Obama sticker on a stuffed Curious George doll.

Nothing in the video is anything you haven't seen before, but it makes comments on the subject almost unnecessary. The video says it all.

AND, to put a finer point on it, Southerners don't account for all the ignorance in this country. There are plenty of idiots in the US, even ones above the Mason-Dixon line. But, it's like the Drive-By Truckers say, "because of George Wallace, it's easier to play it with a southern twang."

Uh, WHAT?

Oct 19, 2008

Thank You, Colin Powell

Just for the record, I've always respected this man. This just amplifies the amount of respect I have for him.

Oct 18, 2008

What I'm Reading



Charlie Huston
No Dominion: A Joe Pitt Novel

The second in the series about a vampire detective in NYC. It is SWEET.

Six Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies



CLICK HERE!!! HURRY!!!

As an added bonus, How Zombies Work. Excellent.

Oct 17, 2008

Doug - The Lost Weekend

I'm hoping to have one of these, too!



For those who don't remember (or are too young to appreciate the divinity of Doug), this episode is about a guy getting a new game system and then forgetting life for a few days. Sounds awesome, but lo! There is peril.

CleanFlicks - Movies You Can Trust

This might be misconstrued as an anti-religion post, but it's really just an amusing site I found (through reading about its premise in The Year of Living Biblically: one Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible.

Clean Flicks is a site, much like Netflix, in which you sign up, put movies in an online queue and then have said movies shipped to you. Except, unlike Netflix, these movies have no swearing, sex, or sviolence.

Do they only offer Veggie Tales? No, in fact. What they do is cut out the bad parts so that you don't have to view them whatsoever. AJ Jacobs, in The Year of Living Biblically, talks about renting Kill Bill, thinking it wouldn't be but about five minutes long. He was disappointed to find it actually does break the hour mark. (Which I, too, find amazing. That movie obviously isn't as depraved as I remember.) :(

I have mixed feelings toward the service. Censorship is high on my list of 'To Don'ts', but I also understand that, someday, I might have a little one running around who doesn't want to see Asians eviscerated (which should be a band name). Or, similarly, a wife who doesn't want me to show a toddler Asians getting said treatment.

So, to that extent, I can understand Clean Flicks.

***I can give 'em one thing: they don't spell anything strictly phonetically (see: Netflix)

Oct 16, 2008




Dennis Quaid Wants Coffee!!!

Lewish Black Lashing Out - Big Surprise!

Oct 15, 2008

More on Those Good Ole Small-Town Values...

For those who can't watch the video, here are the highlights:
[Note: even though the syntax doesn't make sense in some of them, I tried to keep the quotes as similar as possible]

...I don't like he thinks we white people is trash...because we're not.

...When you got a [negra] running for president, you got to have a first-stringer. He's a second-stringer.

...The whole Muslim thing. Lot a people's forgot about 9/11.

...Obama and his wife, I'm concerned they may be anti-white.



Do these people not realize cameras can be hooked up to computers [and then the internet]?

To go a little bit farther, I would like to quote an article that was in the New York Times (Boo! Boo! Boo!) the other day. Or yesterday. Sorry.

Oh, New York Times, trying to maintain a modicum of professionalism with the content of this article. I actually feel sorry for the Rube who had to go to Alabama and get these quotes.

“I would think of him as I would of another of mixed race,” said Glenn Reynolds, 74, a retired textile worker in Martinsville, Va., and a former supervisor at a Goodyear plant. “God taught the children of Israel not to intermarry. You should be proud of what you are, and not intermarry.”


Now, honestly, these people are making the South look even worse than it already does. Not everyone in the South believes this 1950s Jim Crow-ish racist nonsense, but I can't really say that's not true, since we don't get another perspective. The 'trailer park after a tornado has come through' contingent of the Southern population is much more fun to interview than the one with brains.

“I’ve always been against the blacks,” said Mr. Rowell, who is in his 70s, recalling how he was arrested for throwing firecrackers in the black section of town. But now that he has three biracial grandchildren — “it was really rough on me” — he said he had “found out they were human beings, too.”

The Things You Own...

...end up owning you.

Oct 14, 2008

I Wanna Be the Guy

While cruising Games Rader, I stumbled across a video for a DIY game called I Wanna Be The Guy, which is a TOUGH-looking composite of elements from several games, including Super Mario World, Street Fighter II, and Mega Man.

Please watch this video, if for no other reason than to marvel at how difficult this game absolutely has to be. If you get your hands on it, then let me know what you think of it. I'm too much of a chicken to even try it.

Green Zangief is awesome.

John Cleese on Sarah Palin



To paraphrase, basically he says that she's a pretty parrot, without any inkling of what she's saying.

Oct 13, 2008

I'm Not the Only One

Oct 12, 2008

Now That's More Like It

The sorts of attacks leveled on Barack Obama over the last week pushed the wrong kinds of buttons in the American people. Political attacks are by nature nasty, but these are fucking ridiculous. All the GOP needed to do last week was hand out pitchforks and tree branches wrapped in gasoline-doused toilet paper and then point to Barack Obama's headquarters. Everyone there would be dead today. Oh, I betch ya [wink].



John McCain finally showed some reticence at this nonsense yesterday. When some backwoods granny called Senator Obama an Arab - kudos for being wrong on even that front, woman - even McCain had to step in and say "no. No, he's a decent man. A family man."

Is it too late? The fucking mouth-breathers at that rally booed him, and I'm not so sure that the attacks will stop. By painting Obama as a terrorist-dating Other, the McCain campaign has stirred up a very distinct and unsavory kind of vitriol in the minds of Americans.

Sure, most people know the difference between political theater and real fear. If John McCain thought Barack Obama really wanted to turn American into Islamastan (or some kind of other nonsense), then he probably wouldn't get on stage with the man.

But some people don't. And it's the ones who still call African-Americans 'colored' and 'boy' who don't realize the distinction between political positioning and real, honest racism.

So that's why I was absolutely delighted to see that, today, the McCain campaign is going to start its line of attacks on Barack Obama's position on abortion. And spending.

After a week of increasingly nasty rallies in which John McCain and Sarah Palin hammered Democratic rival Barack Obama over his "association" with a 1960s-era radical, the Republican candidates changed tactics Saturday during campaign swings through two presidential battleground states. Palin launched a new front in the culture wars here, attacking Obama on abortion, while in Iowa, McCain concentrated on a critique of Obama's spending proposals.


YAY! Now that's more like it.

Oct 10, 2008

Universal Day of the Jedi

I missed the whole lolcat thing until it was too late - wow, I can't believe the spell check underlined it. Anyway - but I'm determined to make sure I don't miss Universal Day of the Jedi's 'Why So Imperial?'. It probably won't be an online hit like those cute, furry idiots, but it's funny. Damn funny. And doubly funny if you're an Original Trilogy geek like me.

Here Are Those Small-Town Values I've Been Hearing So Much About



...and I really hope we got some of that in the White House.

Oct 9, 2008

Regarding The Negative Attacks...

What I Want My Library to Look LIke

This is internet mogul Jay Walker's library. You can read the source article about it over at Wired.Com






Oct 8, 2008

Eleven Life Lessons of The Big Lebowski

If you're like me, and you go through life trying to make sense of things and just can't seem to do it, then maybe you need a little guidance.
Bible not work out for you? Think Krishna is not the way to go? Scientology making you feel very stupid?
Then how 'bout The Dude?
Screen Junkies has compiled a list of the essential life lessons in The Big Lebowski. If your life lacks direction, then give it a shot.

Here is a link to the eleven most essential life lessons taught by The Big Lebowski.

Oh, [sigh] Stupid People...

Oct 7, 2008

I'm An Astronaut!

African Cichlids in the Act of Evolution


Perhaps for the first time ever, scientists have discovered a species actively evolving due to negative environmental effects. African cichlids in Lake Victoria in the Mwanza Gulf area of Africa are diverging into two different varieties almost right before our eyes, and the overt cause is over-fishing and pollution of the lake itself.

I'm amazed that we're able to find these sorts of things and be able to recognize them so easily. Like, oh, yeah, well here, obviously this fish is transforming right before our eyes. It's really something. It may be a small occurrence to many of you out there, but think of the poor bastard who's spent his entire life studying the Pundamilia nyererei. This is his fucking Woodstock, man. He's been swimming around in Lake Victoria, checking out these nuclear fish, wondering if something's gonna happen. And then bam! here it is. Evolution on a small scale.

Oct 2, 2008

The Best Palin Headline Yet

I think that this writer unintentionally made the most unfortunate headline yet. Click on the link and think about it.

That is One Tasty Burger

LA Po-po are looking for a dude - a grown man - who beat up a sixteen year old girl at a McDonald's. I couldn't figure out a way to embed the video, so below is the link.

Click Here to See the Mayhem

Kid Impersonates Bill O'Reilly

I hold a special place in my heart for swearing youngsters and a special place in my colon for Bill O'Reilly. Mash 'em up, and what do you get? Swearing demagogues. Awesome! Now, since he's not as popular anymore, Bill O'Reilly doesn't cause vomit to rise to the back of my teeth, but he still sucks.



I found this video over at Reddit. Enjoy.

Sep 14, 2008

David Foster Wallace - Dead.

He hanged himself on Friday night. He was 46 years old. This is a terrible thing.

Most people don't know who David Foster Wallace is. He's not as household a name as other, more mainstream literary authors. But now he will be included on a list, a very exclusive list where people who were too sensitive for life and those too selfish to allow other people to co-opt and enjoy it reside.

It's a list full of great, sad people, people wonderfully inept at life. I think we're all bad at life, for the most part, but most of us are gracious enough to let it drag on and on, just to see what comes next. These people have too much distaste for life to let it continue on toward its logical - or illogical, depending on how you look at it - conclusion.

And we are also angry at times like this because the person in question cannot be reprimanded for his ineptitude. We can't say, Goddamnit, we're all going through this thing, too. You can't just pick out a spot and then get off the train, jackass. It's not as if this person has made a bad decision. He/she has done something beyond reproach, and, being human and alive, we naturally hate it.

If one in a similar situation were to go into treatment, he/she could be ridiculed, or thanked. But not now. There is no amount of disdain or congratulatory rhetoric that is going to make this person do anything. At all. Ever. Again.

I've never made it through his most well-know behemoth of a novel, Infinite Jest, a sprawling thousand page nonlinear work of fiction. I now intend to, because he's dead. Isn't that the way it works with art? We can't really appreciate something until someone's dead? Is that the secret of appreciation?

Now that Wallace is dead, we must cling to the words he's already written, in lieu of the ones he wasn't able to get down on paper, in a laptop window, etc.

Below is an extremely funny reading he does at (I can't remember where) but it's really great and funny and I hope you enjoy it.