Tropic Thunder

I was actually really surprised with how good 'Tropic Thunder' turned out to be. I thought it'd be a brainless spoof of over-the-top Vietnam war epics and that it would be at least a decade-and-a-half too late (See Hot Shots).

But it turned out to be really funny, extremely gory, and full of the kind of explosions that would make Michael Bay's dick hard. Spot on satire. It was great. Tom Cruise's cameo was a little forced, I thought, though, and I'm not sure it was very funny, either. Not many people in the theater laughed at his turn as a studio exec caricature until the very end. But that's okay. It was good to see him not being a complete alien weirdo.

Additionally, the movie was pretty offensive/insensitive to (how do I say it tactfully) mentally-challenged people. I understand the satire involved and knew what they were trying to do, but apparently a lot of people didn't (See article) or didn't think it was done with any sort of grace.

And I think they're right, to a certain extent. And I think I'm right to a certain extent. You can't please everybody and the majority of this film was pretty racy, so they can be forgiven for missing the mark on that particular aspect. Anyone, though, who thought perhaps this movie would uplift discourse could not possibly have seen Zoolander. It's a 'guy' movie in every respect (and I'm being a little stereotypical here, too). There are only perhaps two or three women in the entire film (including the Christine Taylor cameo), so it is drenched in so much ribald testosterone (shouldn't it be pronounced tes-tos-ter-won?) that a few stray bullets were probably going to hit somewhere sensitive.

My Grade: Eight Pretentious Actors (out of ten)

Dynastic Policies

Taking a cue from joaj, I've decided to regale you with tales from my NCAA 09 Dynasty.

UGA WON A NATIONAL TITLE!

14-0

UGA, led by the ever impressive coach, USERTBLAKE, trounced Auburn in the SEC Title Game in Atlanta and then soundly beat Texas 41-10 to score their first national title since 1980. Junior quarterback, QB #7, became the school's leading passer EVER, as well as racking up the most TD passes in a season, and HB #24 finished third in the Heisman voting. Unfortunately for the Dawgs, QB #7 decided to enter the NFL draft a year early (and change his last name).

After the title game, USERTBLAKE signed a 5-year extension, turning down offers from Notre Dame and Tennesse (pfft!) to stay in Athens.

Fan Reactions: "I love this game!" "I love this game!" "You suck!" "I love this game!" "Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof!"

Metallica - New Song/Video Leaked

I don't know how many people care anymore, but a song from the new Metallica album got leaked a few days ago via YouTube. The quality is poor, but there are tons of versions of the vid on YouTube. Enjoy. Or don't, depending if you like Metallica or not. The song is called Cyanide.

Stephen King's N.

Through Entertainment Weekly, I just found out that a web series based on a short story of Stephen King's is on the internet(s). It's about a shrink who becomes obsessed with the life of one of his patients. The web site is www.nishere.com. Unfortunately, I caught this boat a little late, so only episodes 7-10 are on the web site (there will be 25). Each is about two minutes, and you can download sets of five on iTunes through August 25.

Additionally, the short story "N.", which the series is based upon, will be included in the short story collection Just After Sunset, to be released in November.

Resident Evil 5

Now, everybody who knows me knows I love my zombies. What's not to love? Stumbling, maggot infested corpses trying to take over the world - for no reason at all. One of the best zombie universes out there is found in the Resident Evil games. It successfully combines horror, zombie folklore, and science fiction into a single, monolithic story. For what it's worth, it's almost Tolkienian in its depth. For about a decade there, in the late 90s/early 00s, I couldn't turn on my Playstation or PS2 without it having some incarnation of RE stuck in there. RE 3: Nemesis is probably the game I have played the most in lifetime (other than DOOM, of course).

That being said, after a while, the story got sort of, um, stale (Codename: Veronica X, anyone)? So, they amped it up in Resident Evil 4, set in Europe and containing possessed people instead of the walking dead. Being a necrophiliac, I was a little disappointed...until I played it.

Same thing with 5. HOWEVER, there is a controversy brewing since the game takes place in Africa. To some people, it's sort of demeaning and, well, racist to depict a white dude with a gun mowing down black people. Never mind that they're possessed demons of the apocalypse. Just think if it were set in the South in the 1840s? Then how would it look? Actually, you reverse it and have the plantation owners become the zombies and have the slaves be the heroes with guns, and you've got a pretty good fucking idea! Lawyered. That I'll have to do before anybody steals it.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, Resident Evil 5 has got people playing the race card, so it must be one ill-ass, violent video game.

Too bad I don't have a next-gen system to play it on.

The Benefits of Subscription 'Downloading'

Last week for my B-Day - yes, dinosaurs have learned how to type blogs, apparently - I got an iTunes gift card - thanks, LP. For 1 Dollar/Song, you don't get much bang for your buck. But I stretched it, downloading some NIN, Rush, Leonard Cohen, and Jane's Addiction ('Superhero', yeah!)

But, today I feel empty. :( Sadly, I want MORE. I always want more. It's my borderline addictive personality, I suppose, but looking at iTunes last night made me realize how much I've missed out on certain new musical acts (Muse, I promise I'll play catch-up). Even some musical movements have alluded me (Prog Rock, hello?).

So, that being said, I've officially begun the process of whoring myself out to the musical download subscription crowd. Research is a bitch, because I'm not one hundred percent what some of the warnings are with the subscription service. So far I've looked at Napster - who thought they would be around nearly a decade later? - and Rhapsody for my choice of cheapskate music-guy home.

Which one is better, you ask?

In a word, probably Rhapsody. Even though iTunes has reached the 5 billion downloads mark - godamn! - Rhapsody is intending on bringing down that beast, like a pigmy tribe (is that un-PC? oh well).

Rhapsody announced on July 2 (yes, dinos can Google News, too!) that their downloads would be compatible with the Apple iPod (a must for me). That's what Napster, unfortunately, lacks. So, all in all, I'll probably be going with Rhapsody. The other variable is burnability. I don't know that Rhapsody is - I haven't done THAT much research - but I'm hoping that it is.

Happy July; here comes August.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, I just found out that, to be accessible to an iPod, you must buy the MP3 songs on Rhapsody for .99 a pop, JUST LIKE ItUNES. What a gyp! (Sorry, gypsies, for that slanderous remark).

You CAN upload songs to an MP3 player on the 14.99 Rhapsody-to-go service, but it has to be PC and it won't work with an iPod. Which sucks, if you can't part with the Apple of your eye. And I can't. I love my iPod.

EVEN MORE OF AN UPDATE: Okay, so here's the thing. You CAN burn CDs, but you have to BUY the music to be able to do that. Does it make any sense? I'll go into more depth. You PAY for the subscription, for the RIGHT - so to speak - to listen to the music. But to own it, you have to BUY it, song buy song or album by album, like in iTunes.

The down-low on Rhapsody: You can listen to all the music you want for 12.99 or 14.99 a month, but you don't own the music. You don't even download the music to your computer. It stays on the Rhapsody player. If you want to use an iPod, you have to buy the songs. If you want to put the songs on an MP3 player, it has to be Rhapsody compatible.

Here's a list of compatible players.

Choke - Red Band Trailer

Chuck Palahniuk wrote a hilariously sexual book called 'Choke' that's been turned into a movie starring Sam Rockwell, about a sex addict who cons people out of money via choking in restaurants. It's sort of convoluted, but they spend most of the trailer talking about sex. Here's the Red-Band Trailer for it. FYI: A Red-Band trailer has boobies and fuckwords!

New Stephen King: Just After Sunset - Coming November

I've just found out that the new Stephen King book is coming out in November. 11/11/2008. According to the Wikipedia Page, It's going to have twelve short stories published within the last few years and one possible bonus story published thirty years ago.

This will mark the first set of King's short stories that I will purchase at the time of publication. Everything else, I've always gotten to years, sometimes decades, later. I really liked most of the stories in 'Everything's Eventual' - I read it on a road trip down to the Everglades in '03 - but I wish I'd gotten to it when it came out. It's a little disappointing that we won't get a new novel from him, but I suppose this will have to suffice.

Fourth of July - Vacation

I'll be out of town for the fourth - through the sixth - so I'll try to leave a few tidbits on the blog for you to peruse, if you're engaged in that wonderfully inappropriate new euphemism, the 'Staycation'.

Take that, poor people, for not being able to afford a trip this year. At least you get a cute word to keep you busy.

It's St. Simons for me, with all of the accoutrement associated with it. Seafood, beach reading - Scott Smith's 'The Ruins' - beer, blah blah blah. I'll be back on Monday. Enjoy your fourth. If you're really bored, you can check out the Time article on Patriotism.

The Phobia List

I know that picking cool web sites and putting them on a blog is mere technological laziness, but phobias are an interest of mine (considering how many of them I actually harbor). Go to the The Phobia List and check your out.

One of my favorites: Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.

Which makes me wonder:

A) How does one develop Anablephobia
B) How is one truly, absolutely diagnosed with Anablephboia?
C) Does it warrant getting one of those little blue passes you can put in your car?

And it also makes me wonder if I have a couple undiagnosed phobias lurking around under the surface. Anyone who knows me is probably slapping his/her forehead right now, going, "Oh Jesus. Not. More. Neuroses."

Here is a short list of the fears that (I think) I have:

Ophidiophobia- Fear of snakes.
Thanatophobia or Thantophobia- Fear of death or dying.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old.

Now, the last three are things that keep me up at night. The first one is a passing fear. Like, when I see snakes, whether on television or in person, I shriek and high-step it out of whichever room I'm in. It seems to be an effective panacea for snakes. The next question is how to high-step it out of the other three. Help me out. Oh, and 'stop being such a pussy'? I've already tried that. Doesn't work.

Lil Caesars and Punisher and Other Errata

A Lil Caesars recently went up in a shopping center in Athens - right next to a Vietnamese Pho place! - and the first time I went in, I expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say, "Gotcha, bitch. There's no such thing as Lil Caesars anymore!"

Because I thought the franchise had gone under. It's like certain animals. There are some animals that may or may not exist; I just haven't seen them in so long I just kind of forget about them.

Anyway, Lil Caesars is awesome but I'm not the only one whose memory had nearly been erased on the matter. I use a banking site called Mint, which tracks your spending, and this morning I was going over a few purchases and which category they fit in. Even Mint had no idea that L.C. still exists, because they had it listed as 'No Category'. That means Mint was, like, we got no Effing clue, dude.

Weird.

Also, the new Punisher Trailer is out there. Thomas Jane looks strange in the new trailer. Just Kidding. It's the really bad-ass guy from ROME. Remember that show? I don't know, but I think it looks actually better than the Thomas Jane Punisher.

'The Strangers' Review - Sort Of

I know that this will come as no surprise to you, but I thought 'The Strangers' was a really good, very well-done horror movie, something difficult to accomplish these days, it seems.

'The Strangers' accomplishes every thing it sets out to. I won't give anything away, but suffice it to say that it is quite possibly the scariest movie I have ever seen in the theaters.

The script is a bit sparse, but the director finds inventive ways to manipulate not only the camera, but the audience as well. There's something to be said for having a talented guy at the helm. It's bitter and mean-spirited, but it's also extremely scary. Like, sweat-in-the-palms, peek-into-the-backseat-before-you-get-in sort of scary. And I am not easily frightened.

Great movie. Please go see it, if you like horror movies. It is not a 'mainstream' horror flick. It's not like SAW and it's not like Hostel, but it's mean and scary and there's little to no blood. Hmmm.

New Angry Video Game Nerd

There's a new Angry Video Game Nerd up on Gametrailers.com.

I think the guy's name is pretty self-explanatory, but for those not in the know, the Angry Video Game Nerd is a game reviewer who is both nerdy and angry. There you go. Watch the videos. They're awesome.

New Dethklok, er, Metalocalypse

In case you haven't heard, in which case you're a shitty fan (just kidding), the new episodes of 'Metalocalypse' start this Sunday.

To celebrate, there's even a Most Brutal Songs Of Compilation on [adult swim]. And it's awesome. Go check it out. Right now.

Modest Mouse - Float On

From Good News For People Who Love Bad News.

New Metallica Album!

Encyclopedia Metallica is reporting that the new Metallica album will be released in September. The date exactly? Nobody knows yet, but you may be able to fish somethign else out on the internet.

Bill-O - Losing His Cool-O

I'm the sort of guy who can be sort of flaky on picking a side on most things. I'm a fence-sitter in the least sexual sense of the word. Indeed, I am too much of a moral relativist to find fault with the actions of people, especially those making millions of dollars a year. It's impossible to think that someone can keep his cool every day, every year, for his or her entire life.




I can make an exception in this case. Bill O'Reilly is a humunculous toolbag, an ancient virus that needs the Ole Bleach-and-Water treatment. I saw an analyzation of this video on KO's show, but I thought maybe not all of you had seen it. So here it is. I hope you all enjoy it. Give me some feedback. Let me know what you think.

Back to You - Canceled

You remember my post from way back on September 19, 2007? I announced just how funny the show turned out to be and started the countdown 'til it got canceled, because FOX always seems to screw up the really good shows. (See Family Guy, Futurama, Arrested Development, Undeclared - I could name others)

Turns out, it was a prophecy. I was only half-joking about FOX not being able to handle good TV shows, but apparently it's the truth. 'Back to You' has been canceled. Damnit.

It's being pitched to CBS, and hopefully it will find a home. I really liked the show, which starred Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.

Happy Mother's Day!

Some say she spoiled her boys
Some say she drove them mad
But no one who found out has lived to tell
~Mother's Day Trailer

I know that the trailer for this looks like it came from the middle of 'Grindhouse' but I just couldn't help myself. It's an actual movie, and you can rent it and everything (I think).

The Things You Own End Up Owning You

"The things you own end up owning you."
~Tyler Durden, Fight Club

I've found an excellent web site for unorganized slobs like me called Unclutterer. They have an entire section on the site about cable clutter. It's amazing.

I've really become enamored with organizing my life and getting it in order. Throughout college, I amassed SO much junk that needs to be dealt with, in one way or another. That's what makes Unclutterer so useful.

Right now my spare bedroom is in disarray. I have a punching bag, 'The Thing' movie MacFarlane toys, a BOX full of Sega Genesis, SNES, and NES games, two speakers and a crapload of paper to be sorted through. But not for long. I've already begun the process of cutting everything down to size. So, for the moment, the spare bedroom closet is nearly empty and the room is filled with all the junk. But once I get through all of my clutter, both will be sorted through and organized.

I know it sounds lame, but you'd be surprised the euphoria that one can experience after getting one's 'stuff' in order. I even plan on whittling down my book collection - gasp!

Oh, and I got into Grad School last week. More on that later.

My Athens Walk Score [. . .]

[...] 52 out of 100. Not s'good, Mum. Athens is a great walking city, if you live in the downtown area. But I don't. I live on the East Side of Athens, and it's definitely not as accessible as downtown Athens. I've got some restaurants and stuff, but my job cannot be reached by walking, and that's the ultimate downer.

See, I've been thinking about using public transportation at least one day a week, but I can't seem to bring myself to the point where I can get up and just 'take the buss.' Don't get me wrong. Athens has great public transportation (second largest in Ga, behind MARTA, hoo-ah). The Lift, it's called. Which I think is great. I just have never been a pub-tran kind of guy, and it's going to take gas getting just a wee bit higher for me to actually delve in a do it.

Go look at my Walk Score page. The funniest thing on there is on the left-hand column. Look at schools. I guess if I needed a Poultry Diagnostic, I'd be set.

KlydeLanta, I'd like to see what your Walk Score is, because I think it'd have to be something like 99. I'd hope so, anyway, ya NYC punk.

Another interesting site I found while perusing some finance blogs was a service called FlexCar. Now, to the best of my knowledge, with a flexcar - or FlexCar, if you prefer formality - you just pick up the car (using one of their Zipcards), drive it for an hour, a day, whatever and then drop it off where you picked it up at the end of the trip.

It sounds like a superb idea. A good question is: how do you get there in the first place? I know that sounds stupid, but it's a valid question. If you have a friend dropping you off, why can't the bum take you where you need to go? Just kidding. But I do think it's a cool idea. The only problem is it's in a few select cities (and not Athens). If anybody's done this, let me know how well it works.

Paying Down Debt - Motivation

As I've said in the past, I've been working to pay down all of the debt that I have - credit card and student loan debt, mostly. It's a long, hard trek, and when you're in the situation that I'm in, you have to do it slowly and carefully. One month of extravagant spending and you're back in the same spot as before.

So it helps to stay motivated. Believe me, every week when movies, music, video games, and books come out, I'm practically salivating. I have a media addiction - two hundred DVDs and four times as many books - and I also like to eat out a lot. Working through those issues to get to 'Debt Level Zero' has been challenging. In a town like Athens, with a couple hundred fast food places (including a place called Barberito's that, I swear, is literally addictive) and a Target, Two Wal-Marts, and Best Buy, you have to be very careful.

Luckily, there are other people going through the same sort of dilemma as I am. You can find hundreds of personal blogs, where people have chronicled their struggles to beat the system and pay down their debt, expenditures be damned.

Since there might be a few of you out there who are in debt and have no idea how to get out - or even if you can - I've decided to link to several of those sites. Check them out and take a serious look at your financial situation. It might end up helping you out, in the long run. Enjoy.

Clever Dude
Free Money Finance
Blogging Away Debt
The Consumerist
The Bargainist
Make Love, Not Debt

Stephen King Interviews

To give you an idea of what is interesting to me today, take a look at the videos I've posted below. Interviews with Stephen King, circa the release of 'Lisey's Story', which I have to admit, I have not read yet.



Seeing such interviews on BBC makes me sort of yearn for four channels. Wait, no it doesn't! But I do hate that we don't have more substantive interviews like this one on television. It's always Larry King feigning interest in Lauren from the Hills or New York from whatever reality-television hole she crawled out.

On YouTube, there are other Mark Lawson interviews, including ones with people like Terry Pratchett. Yay!



And, speaking of Terry Pratchett, there is a web site up on the web called Match it for Pratchett, dedicated to raising money for Alzheimer's Disease Research. If you didn't already know, Pratchett has recently been diagnosed with a form of early-onset Alzheimer's Disease.

Sneak Video of Mario Kart Wii

Over at Kotaku, I found a link to a feed of gamers playing through the new Mario Kart Wii game. 'All thirty two courses!' the site claims, though I'll never find out. I rarely have the patience to play two hours on my own most nights, let alone watch someone else play a game for two hours. Even Mario Kart. Gasp.

If you're really hard-up for some Mario Kart action, though, and can't wait until the April 27 release date, then this is the thing for you. I can't really complain too much, because I broke down and hooked up the N64 in the living room to play MK64 in preparation for the new one coming out. Nerd Alert: I hope it's as good on the Wii as it has been in my mind.

The one aspect of the whole thing that bothers me when I watch the video demo of people playing it on television (or on Amazon) is that it looks pretty difficult to keep on playing after awhile. I mean, I'm in pretty good shape, but there's only so long I think I'd be able to hold my arms up like that and not get some sort of strange affliction.

I figured out how to embed the video, so you don't even need to go anywhere else to view it!


2 Hours of Mario Kart Wii (all 32 levels) from WiiNintendo.net on Vimeo.

The Office: Spin-Off of a Re-Make?!?

This Just In: The relationship between Pam & Jim may not be the thing that eventually causes The Office to jump the shark (in a decade, hopefully). NBC may have just done it for them.

E! Online is reporting that NBC will be doing a spin-off of The Office (How?). See Private Practice. There is no word if characters from Scranton will defect to this new show, or there will exist an entirely new cast, or they will dip in and out of each show like the boundaries of an old NES game.

Obviously, I'm skeptical of such a move. This is a heaping pile of unmitigated audacity, more than I've seen in awhile. But definitely not below NBC's programming practices. Put more time into keeping Friday Night Lights on the air, jerks!

First of all, NBC stretched the comfort zone already by importing the show to the U.S. They were lucky it wasn't a complete bomb. Now they want to spin-off of it as well? That just seems loony. It's homogeneity. That's what the network is looking for. Oh, we're so devoid of creativity that we have to milk from a merely moderately successful show - I love it, but come on, they don't get A.I. or C.S.I. ratings - to create a homunculus spin-off.

Blast you, NBC.