[No Subject] - Advertising Is Way Out of Hand

Right now, my 70+ lb. German Shepherd is getting her ass kicked by a ten pound cat. What is the world coming to? Seriously, Ona, show us your heritage. It's proud!

(By the way, she's the big white one in the tub)

Anyway, back to subjects with substance. You know, I get so sick and tired of advertising. Seriously. It's everywhere, man. I feel bombarded by it on a daily basis, and there's not a spot in the world that won't be sponsored someday in the future.

Isn't that a scary thought?

This is the Kotex Field of Cowshit in Butte, Montana. Or the Budweiser Electric Chair in EverypartofTexasever, Texas.

And so on and so forth. I wish I could satirize it, but alas I'm not a satirist...yet.

I am angry, however, and that makes for a good read, doesn't it? Advertising sucks. Especially when I'm trying to watch a movie and everything is pushed so nonchalantly, as if to say, "Oh we didn't mean to have this certain goddamn soda can in the middle of the frame."

If you don't think so, remember the movie Spider-Man. When he's in his room and trying to figure out how to be a web-slinger. He tries to pull what from the counter? A Dr. Pepper can.

If you don't believe it's the truth, check out the tie-ins for the movie. Hmmm. Dr. Pep-per. Interesting.

I know I know. It's not that important. But it is. Just think: there are guys out there literally trying to figure out ways to put advertising in every single spot on the earth. And I'm not even joking. The other day at the mall, there was advertising on the f**king elevator. I wish it were just a sci-fi story, but it's the truth.

And it sucks.

The reason I'm spewing venom - not Venom (ha!) - about this is the recent movie, Transformers. Let me qualify what I'm saying by admitting that I did like the movie. A lot. So that's not the problem.

Actually...there is no problem. So what if there was a lot of GM advertisement in the movie? Huh? Wasn't the whole cartoon series one thirty-minute-long goddamned commercial? Isn't that why they killed off Optimus Prime in the original cartoon movie and made me so cynical today? It's a vicious cycle. They killed off Prime to make up new action figures to take his place.

But they can't. They can't replace Optimus Prime. And I spent so much of my childhood wondering why the Goodest of Good Guys - hey, I was six - could get taken away from me in the first ten minutes of the movie, only to never be brought back.

Advertising. Adver-f**king-tising is to blame. It's why I'm the neurotic prick that I am today. Just remember that when you get tired of it too. And it will happen. Oh yes. It will happen.

I Know You Missed Me

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to the Blog, but I just haven't had the TIME!!!! The world is speeding up, and I've got to run just to keep up. The house is a mess, and for once it's not because I'm just too lazy to clean it. I'm gearing up to move, and books and DVDs and boxes of this and that are strewn about, and it's driving me crazy. I don't move for another few weeks, but I can't help but start the process. Every time before now, I've been caught at the last minute trying to move stuff, and it becomes a bungled mess.

The above picture is me. Gross, huh? No, that's not one of my better pics, but it's one of the newer ones. It was taken, not during a cooking competition, but during one of my last bits of beer-making. The brew is done, and it is NOT fantastic! No, it's pretty good, but I think I may have done something slightly wrong, because it has no aftertaste whatsoever. Which is good, I guess, if you don't like beer. Isn't the aftertaste what most people despise?

Also, I guess I should follow-up on the Wii-Talk. Yes, I did get the Wii. I had a lost weekend. I did nothing but play video games, and it was AWESOME! We called it Party Wii-kend - get it - and we drank lots of beer, ate lots of pizza, and played many many hours of Wii. I've already used up the batteries in one of the controllers.

One of the best things about the Wii is that you can download old NES and SNES games and play them. It's great. I no longer have to drudge out my old NES when I want to play Castlevania; I can just play it on my Wii! The only problem is that there are only a few REALLY GREAT games right now. Most of them are ehhh, just all right games. Which is okay. But I'm waiting for Super Mario Bros. 3 to be released. Boy, that brings back memories.

Check out the slideshow of our last beer-making expo. It is below, and it is glorious.

Nintendo Wii - My White Whale

Tonight, I'm huntin' me a Wii. There are hundreds - maybe thousands - of other hunters out there, but I've got my wallet and my F5 button ready.

Holy shit! My bid has just been maxed out. I feel like another cl...Damnit, I didn't even get a chance to finish this sentence before someone outbid me and the auction ended. Goddamnit.



This is a terribly cutthroat business, getting a Wii. I thought there would be enough game for all of us, but I must have been mistaken.

Granted, Nintendo hasn't been up on manufacturing. Hell, maybe they were down on themselves as well on this one. Like, "Well, we're not charging a million bucks for a video game system, so nobody loves us." Mmmmmm.

So I guess I'll just have to bid on another...wait. Wait just a second. I just checked my eBay account, and it said that I had to pay for an item.

Oh, crap! I accidentally won a Nintendo Wii! But wait, that doesn't make any sense. It said that I got outbid on it. It said that I lost. There was a distinct screen in which I was beaten.

*shrugs* Oh well. You know what? I'll take it! Any day of the week, I'll take it. I paid about twenty bucks more than I was willing to pay on it, but I'll definitely accept it. I know I've been trying to get my finances back in order, but I've got the moolah for a Wii. Totally worth it. Totally worth it. Be happy for me guys. I'll be Wii Sportin' it in a few days!

An Update on Life

Working 60-hour weeks doesn't lend itself to blogging, so I haven't been in the blogosphere a lot lately. I can only shrug. It's the way the cookie crook crumbles sometimes.

But I have been participatin in plenty of things lately. First of all, tonight I taste the beer that I made a little under a month ago. It still feels premature, but I'm hoping that it's carbonated enough for me to enjoy (or at least not be embarrassed in front of the friends who helped me make it).

Invariably, the beer in the picture is not my beer. It is only there for emphasis. I wish the beer I made could look like that. It would be a miracle.

So, beyond brewing and working, I'm reading Richard Dawkins's great book, The God Delusion. Relax. I'm not joining the Church of Satan or anything. Religion interests me, and I can't help but be enamored by someone who is so arrogantly anti-religion. It's a natural progression. I went to an extreme place growing up - think people speaking in tongues and going to church four days a week - and it soured on me.

However, I did cringe when he said:

The only difference between The Bible in the Da Vinci Code is that The Bible is ancient fiction and the Da Vinci Code is modern fiction.

Ouch. Right?

In addition, I've been going to the gym pretty much every day, and I like the results. I like them so much that I think I might try to run a half-marathon...in the Fall.

Yeah, I don't have the endurance or the willpower to try to run a full marathon - like a real runner would - but I can try to be half of what I'm supposed to be. I guess.

And if you've ever experienced a summer in Georgia, you'd know why they don't have those things down here then. It would result in murder and lawsuits and all sorts of clandesting activity. The heat down here is just mean!

But I do enjoy jogging - I have my 'outfit' on right now - and today I'm going to try to get to 6 miles. I figure that if I can build my endurance until about October, I should be in good shape for a half-marathon. Or a pretend marathon. Whichever one comes along first. Cheers.

3rd Novel - Done as Dillinger

Well, I've finally done it. The third book is officially in the bag, and I've got to say that I'm really proud of it. It's much better than the second book's first draft - so far as I can tell - and I can't wait to take a look at it in several weeks, once it's had a chance to mellow out.

Tentatively titled The Marquis Man, the book is about a serial killer who torments the city of Atlanta by murdering women in extreme ways and who doesn't count on the fact that a criminal gunman becomes enamored with his latest soon-to-be victim.

It's a cat-and-mouse story, with the two of them playing off each other very well for being such similar people in certain ways. I like it. The second draft, hopefully, will be better.

But I'm one step closer to the dream. And I love it! Thanks for all of your support so far, guys. I really, really, truly appreciate it. Don't give up on me. Now that I'm done, I have more time to read your blogs!

As always, you can read my short fiction by clicking on the banner below to Writers Cafe. I encourage it, but hey, I'm not being pushy.

The Sopranos

Okay, so I hate to make a second blog about the Sopranos in a row - and being as I haven't blogged since last Sunday, it's awful - but I have to.

There's no doubt that the final episode will be good and great (and possibly extremely disappointing, if Tony dies) and anything short of my own death could not keep me from watching the show. I don't think I was even this pumped up about the Seinfeld or Andy Barker, PI series finales.

Just kidding.

'The Sopranos' changed everything for me. I'll never be able to watch t.v. the same way again. And I could go into what has happened in the series - it would take a long f*cking time - but I'm not going to.

I found a video to do it for me! This is a seven minute video explaining the series, up to the beginning of the final season. It's an absolutely fantastic video, well-done and everything. I hope you enjoy it.



It took me watching this video to realize just how much crap goes on in the show. There are so many open ends that may never get resolved. Hell, won't ever get resolved.

And I love that. It's how life goes. Not everything gets resolved in life, especially not in a way that pays off something that happened earlier. Although I kind of wish it would. Would make you think about what you're doing, wouldn't it?

But anyway, tonight's the final episode. Ever. The finality of it sort of makes me sad, the same way that the thought of dying sort of makes me sad. Sort of. Well, you just have to remember: I've invested several years of my life with these 'people'.

As you can see, I don't take my television lightly. I don't want the Sopranos to end. There's so much more that could happen. Hmmm. Maybe not, now that I think of it. Bobby's dead. Sylvio's dead (or dying).

It only begs the question of what is going to happen tonight? The only logical solution, it seems is that Tony should die. Why? Why is it that he should die? It would not necessarily be a full-circle for the man. He's always come out on top, no matter the situation.

Why does it have to be that he dies? Personally, I have a feeling that Pauly will try to kill Tony, because I think he's the turncoat for New York. He's a smug little piece of s**t, and it just seems like something he would do.

What's so great about the show is that it's open-ended. There are so many ways the show could end. It's not leading you in any one direction. God, it's so Good!

'The Sopranos' is more than just a television ending. It's a cultural event. Jeez, man, I'm a nerd!

The Sopranos - One Note Left to Play

Bobby's dead.

Plain and simple. I haven't even had any time to reflect upon it. I don't know what to think. And with just one episode left, it's hard to know what to think.

The show doesn't uplift it's characters. Dying in a train shop. There's not a more uneventful way to die. That's not dramatized. It was just his death and boom, that was it.

Christopher's dead. Syl's in the hospital. Somehow, Pauly's still alive. Who would have thought that?

Anyway, I'm still in shock.

'Knocked Up' is a Great Horror Movie

Anyone who's ever had sex knows that the potential of getting someone pregnant is horrifying. Which is why 'Knocked Up' works in a gallows humor sort of way.

The plot is simple: a guy and a girl meet at a club and get pregnant after having sex...once. Hilarity ensues.

Larry Munson, voice of the Georgia Bulldawgs, who also has his own movie club here in Athens, wonders how 'the people in Hollywood ever came up with such a movie. Twenty years ago, even, they couldn't have done this.' Funny.

Only, 'Knocked Up' isn't some cutesy, what-do-we-do-with-an-unexpected-pregnancy sort of movie. It is and it isn't. The movie has a certain amount of verisimilitude and gut-wrenchingly awkward moments. The laughs are genuine and the angsty parts aren't contrived. That's very hard to find in movies today.

Especially the arguments. They get f*cking brutal. Judd Apatow really has a hold on 'adult' sexual comedies. WHile most movies pander to the lowest common denominator for comic effect, Apatow uses those low-brow moments to reinforce the stronger parts of the movie. He's not pandering, and he chose a great leading man for the movie in Seth Rogen.

The funniest movie this year so far. By far, I'd say. And I'm debating on thinking it funnier than '40 Year Old Virgin'. That, my friends, is a tall order.

A Quick Rundown of the World

Paris is going to jail, and some people seem to think that it's because people dislike her. Rob Sheffield, of Rolling Stone, writes that "Sending Paris Hilton to jail for being the most loathed celeprosy lesion in the history of the species seems like a happening idea at first [. . .] But it sets a dangerous precedent to jail celebs just because someone hates them."

What? Am I wrong, or did Paris drive without her license? Hmmm. If she went to jail for people hating her, wouldn't she already be there? She's already done enough things to warrant it, don't you think?

This week on Telebisshon, watch FOX's On the Lot, where wannabe filmmakers argue with each other for an hour and hope to become megastars (which they probably won't). 5/29 @ 9 PM. Or, on the History Channel, you can watch a show called STAR WARS: The Legacy. 'Nuff Said. 5/28 @ 9 PM.

There's a new minstrel show in town. I'd heard of Shirley Q. Liquor before - a gay white man in blackface, no less - but I thought it was just some underground nonsense. It's come to the attention of the nation, now, and a huge debate has sparked over it. How is this not considered a modern minstrel show? Being a gay dude doesn't excuse him from getting onstage and singing "The 12 Days of Kwanzaa".

Sample Lyric:

On the eleventh day of Kwanzaa...
I got out on parole. I rolled a big joint, went down
to church and talked all out of my head. Got happy and
shouted, passed out and hollered. They called 911 and
the Lord set me free! Gave my testimony, stepped on
home, didn't even remember where I stayed, I woke up
real hungry and confused. LORD

I've also included a performance of the song here, as well. Now, I'll get into the debate over its impact and potential racism/not racism (Chuck Knipp, the character's creator, swears that it is not).



Captain Jack Sparrow and his gang are going crazy at the box-office, taking in $57 million domestically and another $85.5 million overseas in its first day! It will probably hit the 140 million mark, but that's not all.


Think of it, people: It's Memorial Day Weekend. It might even hit 150 or so, if ticket sales on Monday are comparable to this weekend's numbers. A few of the cast members have voiced an unwillingness to push the franchise forward, but, then again, with such a great opening box-office draw, how would they be able to turn it down? The studio would be able to pay them millions and millions more for reprising their roles, even if for just one more movie.

And, just to let everyone know, the Democrats are wimps. They got elected to help make the mess in Iraq better, and so far they haven't had the collateral to do anything at all. There's an old adage that goes, "To get out of a hole, first you've got to stop digging." With the way the Dems are running things, I don't know that it will be possible until 2008, if not later.

Keith Olberman said, in a special comment on his show "Countdown":

Few men or women elected in our history—whether executive or legislative, state or national—have been sent into office with a mandate more obvious, nor instructions more clear:

Get us out of Iraq.

Yet after six months of preparation and execution—half a year gathering the strands of public support; translating into action, the collective will of the nearly 70 percent of Americans who reject this War of Lies, the Democrats have managed only this:

The Democratic leadership has surrendered to a president—if not the worst president, then easily the most selfish, in our history—who happily blackmails his own people, and uses his own military personnel as hostages to his asinine demand, that the Democrats “give the troops their money”;

He goes on to say more, but alas, this is a blog and not an encyclopedia, so I must go now. Thanks for checking in.

Pro-Life Dog-Fighting Rings

Now, I must admit that I'm currying favor with the picture to the right of this post. It would be disingenuous for me not to admit that. Only Michael Moore would not.

Okay, so this story is going to be very, very strange, so try to keep up. And, for reference's sake, Michael Vick, quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, might have been involved in a vicious dog-fighting ring. Okay. Now.

The radio hosts on ESPN Radio - all of them - talked about the issue today in great detail, calling anyone involved in dog-fighting despicable and mentioning that it's a felony in most states.

Well, a fellow employee of mine much higher up on the food chain walked by as the topic was being discussed and - I suppose because we're on different ends of the political spectrum - asked me, "Now why is there a law against dog-fighting?"

Do no mistake me: the man in question is extremely intelligent and was only being semi-obtuse here, so don't scoff yet. I told him I thought it was obvious. He then explained that he agreed that it was horrendous, but then he countered that he didn't think the federal government should get involved if two people wanted to fight their dogs.

I told him that I would have to think about a justification for why I thought it was a law. It seemed a pretty cool challenge, and I came up with the example of incest. I thought that certainly he would agree that, though one should be pretty much allowed to do what he wants as long as it did not harm another being, certain legislation is led by social mores and is not necessarily the fault of the federal government.

Now, when I mentioned that position to him later, telling him that you couldn't marry, say, your mother if you wanted to, he said: "But you should be able to."

Now, I have to admit that this caught me off-guard. It shouldn't have, but it did. It was a strictly philosophical and tactical maneuver. He then likened what I'd said earlier to the abortion argument, which I also should have seen coming. He told me that, if I defended abortion, which I do, that I was putting a dog's life above a human being's.

When I explained that I didn't and that I didn't think that in the first trimester a bundle of cells was a human being, much as an acorn is not an acorn tree, he persisted in telling me that if a woman can kill a bundle of cells bound to become a human, then a man should be able to kill a dog.

Well, perhaps it was a segue into talking about legislation, because he then said that he didn't agree with abortion but that a woman should have the right to do it. Because he's an absolutist in liberties, I presume. His main point was that basically nothing doing with a person's choices should or could be legislated.

Now, I'm aware that it was an overarching challenge on the belief in abortion - which ranks low on my scale of necessities in politics - but I could tell he thought he'd won. Truth be told, I don't really care. Somone so staunchly anti-government wouldn't accept less as an answer. Because there's no way to prove why there should be federal regulation. There just really is not a decent argument to say, "Well, yeah, why? Why should this be a law or this be a law? Why should it be legislated?" It's frustrating.

See how this really had nothing to do with dog-fighting whatsoever? I give up.

Savings Accounts, Roth IRAs, Growing Up, Oh My!

So I think I'm finally starting to grow up a little bit, and although it's going to be beneficial to my future, I'm not quite sure how it happened. One day I was trying to figure out how to buy all of the seasons of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD and still have money for beer, and the next I'm talking about opening a 5.05% savings account with HSBC and discussing the tax benefits of starting a Roth IRA versus a traditional one.

Wow. Life comes at you fast.

Moreover, I've been contemplating saving for a house. It's one of the reasons I started the high-yield savings account. I even impressed my boss with my savings-savvy.

And it only took me twenty-five years to get this far. I'm what psychologists like to call a "late bloomer". It usually happens with kids who have affluent parents. They continue to leech off of their parents until either A) the parents cut them off or B) they wake up and realize, "Hey, I'm a f**king loser!"

Option B) very rarely happens.

It wasn't the case with me. I leeched off myself for far too long, ignoring that there is such a thing as a future and that I should be planning for it.

So I think I'm slowly freeing myself from the state of arrested development I've been in my entire life, and I'm happy. I used to be very anti-establishment, like, Hey, leave all the money-saving to bankers on Wall Street. Just give me METAL!

Now, I've realized just how dumb it was to just blow all of my money because I wanted to enjoy it.

And, to be honest, understanding markets and percentages and stuff really isn't that bad. In fact, I'm kind of enjoying this new knowledge.

90,000 Words in the Third Novel

Tonight I hit the coveted 300-page mark in the third novel - tentatively titled "Beast of Burden" - and also the 90,000 word mark. Simultaneously. I'm stoked!

It appears as though the book might be another hundred pages or so, but don't fret. It's paced well, and I'm thinking that it's the best book I've written thus far.

Besides, there being a "Bratz" movie coming out this summer gives me hope that SOMEWHERE there is a market for my writing. I mean, if Paris Hilton can get a recording contract, then maybe. . .oh, well, nevermind. I guess I'm not a millionaire heiress now am I?

The Vampire Guide Mar 23, 2007 - May 1, 2007 Win $500.00, 2nd Place: $200.00, 3rd Place: $50.00

The results still haven't come through on the "Vampire Guide" Writing Contest, but I'm still optimistic. I found out this morning that, were I to win, I'd get $500 and an article on the front page of the web site.

Despite that, you can read my work - as always - at Writerscafe. Click on the link below. You can read my story "Hostile Takeover", which, I'm hoping, is going to win the Vampire Guide Contest. It's pretty good.



Let me know what you think about my writing. I'm always glad to get criticism.

- T. Blake Braddy

I've Been Tagged (By Jackson Pollock)

I know. Sounds freaky, doesn't it?

Um, I got tagged for a linky-thingy - what are they called - in which you draw a "Pollock" from the web site and then post it on your site and tag people.

Obviously, I'm a moron to not be able to do this.

But - hey - I can get away with that, right? You, too, can create your own Pollock painting at Jacksonpollock.org

I'm going to tag other people in hopes that they might be able to help me not be stupid. I would post my painting, but since I don't know how to save it and post it, you'll just have to trust me that it's great!

Who is tagged?

Tink, over at Pickled Beef
Fiwa, over at Every Day is Friday Eve
Klyde-Lanta, Over at Klyde-Lanta(Post, damn you!)
Claire, Over at ClaiderBaider Methodology
Brian, over at Textual Amusement

Hope you guys enjoy it.

Nintendo 64 YAY!

I found this really interesting video, and I thought you might like it. This is exactly how I acted when I got my Nintendo 64. Not.

Entourage - A Teenager's Dream

Entourage is really a great show, and I've always associated it with shows like The Sopranos, which, at times, can be extremely violent and filthy.

Thinking back on it, I don't know why I thought that. Entourage is nothing more than a (male) teenager's fantasy. I mean, what guy watches that show and then doesn't want to A) be a movie star or B) have a friend who is a movie star and be a member of his posse.

There's a lot of profanity, but so what? It's intended for adults. And, I don't think that it's excessive. Then again, I don't really think that any show has an excessive amount of cursing.

No violence, unless you count Johnny Drama nailing a dude in the face during a scuffle with Seth Green's own entourage. No nudity, as far back as I can remember. There are lots of girls in bikinis, but that's no different than, say, CSI: Miami. Not that I've ever watched that show.

So what it comes down to is perception. Because it's on HBO, I - and many other people - think that it's inherently a bawdy program. But it's not. I'll repeat: it's a teenage fantasy wrapped up in a big budget.

And I love it.

I only hope that it's able to stick around for a few more seasons. That's the one problem of HBO shows. It takes around ten years for a six-year program to air. See The Sopranos. Entourage has already begun doing the cryptic Season ?/Part 1/2 thing. Which is what Sex & the City, among other shows, did as they finished up.

Of course, I hope this isn't the case with our friends out in Cali.

Tina Fey is the Real Victim Here

This is the Reason His Daughter Won't Speak to Him

Someone pretty please make sure that Alec Baldwin gets some satisfaction in the custody battle for his - "12, or 11," as he puts it - year-old child, Ireland. Kim Basinger. Yes, you. Fellow Georgian. QUIT IT! Leave Alec alone, or at least tell Ireland to call him once in a while. The two of you play nice with Baldwin.

Why?

Because I love "30 Rock." I want to see the show on the air for another few years. You know how hard it is to find sitcoms that are actually funny these days? I would sell your children into slavery to make sure that Alec Baldwin stays on "30 Rock." To me, it's just that damn funny.

According to the NY Times,

Alec Baldwin said on “The View” yesterday that he wanted to quit that NBC sitcom to write a book about “parental alienation.”

Come on. Even Carrot Top wouldn't make that joke. In either case, it's not funny, even though I doubt that Baldwin is joking.

So he called his kid a incosiderate pig. At least he didn't call her a pig f**ker. That would have been overboard.

Besides, how many of you watch "30 Rock?" It's Tina Fey's finest hour. I think it would be horrific if the show were to tank without it being her fault. So, I think it goes without saying, Tina Fey is the real victim in this whole mess.



You should be ashamed of yourselves for blasting Baldwin so badly. Nice alliteration, huh? He's only a pawn in the right-wing media's scheme to end good television and replace it all with CSI spinoffs.

Don't you get it? Liberal actors make for great shows. Not in all cases, but isn't Alec Baldwin the poster boy for everything that (Republicans think) is wrong with America? Are you going to let them ruin a great show and put such a talented writer on her ass?

Also, Tracy Morgan-Jordan is fantastic on the show. There's not a better racial satire on television. Are you a racist? Okay, then, support Alec Baldwin and "30 Rock." Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan-Jordan.Or it will be all your fault.

Fall of the House of Soprano - Future of HBO

Needless to say - or maybe not, if you don't know me - the Sopranos is one of my favorite television shows ever. If not for kick-ass comedies like Arrested Development, perhaps it would be my favorite show ever.

But, sadly, the Reign of the Sopranos is coming to an end, as the last episodes are winding down the series.

Which is fine. I expected this to happen someday. But, my question is: what is going to replace the Sopranos as the flagship show for HBO?

There has to be a franchise on which to hang the cable network's hat. The brand will only suffer if a similarly great show cannot take its place. The Sopranos and Sex & the City were the two shows that made HBO Television great. They were smart, hip, funny, YEARS ahead of their time.

And, in a few weeks, both of them will have gone the way of the dodo.

What's next? I like Big Love, but I honestly don't see it becoming the number 1 program on the network. It's a good idea, but it just doesn't have the ooomph that 'THE MODERN MAFIA' does, in reference to the Sopranos.

The truth is, you've got to have something epic to wave at the public, to say, "Look! This is the best we've got, and it's better than everyone else."

Entourage, too, is a good show, but not a leader for the company. Deadwood is gone. Rome is gone. Six Feet Under, kaputz. Same with Carnivale. Ditto Oz.

Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming back, too, for a sixth season, and I'm glad about that, but there has to be something else. What is going to be the big guy? The Wire? I don't think so.

2nd Place is 1st Awesome - The Writing Contest

I'm a winner, sort of! Today represents the first real indication that my fiction is leading somewhere.




Let me give you all of the news. At first, when I got home last night, I checked my profile and saw that I'd received a few new messages. Turns out, I placed 2nd in an online writing contest called "How Bizzare!"

I was so happy, I could have wet myself.

So, the gal pal and I picked up some celebratory items: cheesecake, beer, her new Simple magazine, and my leftover Japanese food.

Good times, right? Well, when I checked my account again, to revel in having actually placed in something, I found that I had placed 2nd in a Fantasy & Horror contest with another one of my stories. I was elated, to say the least. Not one, but two bits of good information in a single day.

So, for all of you who have been wondering where my time has gone, this is the reason. I've been working on getting published and getting reckognized. You can read my stuff by clicking on the link above. Or by clicking on the "Read My Writing" link below on the table.

Read My Writing at WritersCafe.org
Read My Writing..

Go See "Hot Fuzz" Cold Turkey

"Hot Fuzz" is opening today, and though it's not a horror movie, Slasher Central is covering it. Why not? Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Nick Frost made one of the best zombie movies in the last two decades with "Shaun of the Dead" in 2004.

The big question coming into "Hot Fuzz" was, Can these guys go chameleon and conquer another genre of movie, in the form of the American action flick?



All appearances say yes. E! Online reviewer Alex Markerson says, "It's hard to imagine having more fun in a theater without being arrested." He gives the movie an A overall. The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive for those guys, and we here at Slasher Central are glad to see that.

Unlike other sites, though, I won't bother to spoonfeed you the plot for the sake of beefing up the post. Suffice it to say that it's "Agatha Christie meets John Woo" (it's what Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg called it on the Morning X).

I'm sure there will be lots of explosions, car chases, and hopefully - because it's Pegg, Wright and Frost - blood. If they can at all replicate the sort of "thinking dude's humor" that they nailed in "Shaun of the Dead" then this should be a must-see.

Opening today.

A Repost from Slasher Central

It Just Pisses Me Off So Much. . .

. . .That Arrested Development is no longer on the air. Lady Protocol and I have been watching Arrested Development lately, and something about it being canceled really gets under my skin. It may be the fact that it's one of my favorite show ever - probably my favorite comedy show ever - but it also has to do with what got it canceled.

A) FOX's incompetence and B) People who were too interested in American Idol to care. Both of those are sad, if you ask me.

I mean, I guess you can't lament the downfall of a television show, and I won't go into how much I love it, but come on! Arrested Development was just such a smart show.

Oh, well.

On a lighter note, people are calling the more than 5 million e-mails missing from Karl Rove's files the "15 minutes of missing tape" of this era.

How can somebody lose 5 million e-mails. Well, I can tell how it happened this time - rapidly pressing the delete button - but I can't believe that more people aren't outraged.

I mean, really, how much crooked shit can this administration do before people wise up?

Turn! Turn! Turn! (The World)

So, a lot has been going on in my world in the last few days.

And apparently in the world as a whole, especially today. I can't even imagine the pain that the people in Virginia must be going through at the moment. It's awful.

Beyond that, I don't know how great I feel talking about the successes of my book and such tonight. I did make it to the 60,000 word mark tonight (finally), and I have entered some contests on a writing community to which I belong. I'm excited about the prospect of having people actually read my work, so that's good.

Saving money, paying off debt, all of that. Things are moving ahead. Oh, and an annoying girl from work quit abruptly today, so I guess it's not all bad.

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

I read Harrison Bergeron in high school. I thought it was a great story, but I also didn't have time to read a great author back then. I was forced to read the classics, old tomes I understood but about which I could have cared less.

But, during my first trip Out West, Spring of 2002, I read Breakfast of Champions on the way back. It was not the first book I ever read which changed the way I thought about life, but it was probably the most important in my overall development.



Kurt Vonnegut passed away last night in Manhattan. He was 84. On another, similar yet unrelated, note, I entered a writing contest for the first time in my career. I only hope that it was not that fact which ultimately killed Mr. Vonnegut.

I think he would have appreciated that joke. God bless you, Mr. Vonnegut.

Yay! Humor About Red-Staters

There's a guy on a web site called Renew America - I'm not kidding - who's talking about the new Kevin Smith "horror" movie, Red State.

Here's a little tidbit:

Red State, huh? Can you just guess what that means? "Red" as in Republican, "horror" as in the horror of Conservative ideals? Along with another Smith attack on religion, I can imagine how badly he is going to treat the average American in "flyover" country with this one.

I can just imagine this guy - there's a picture of him on the blog itself - with one of those super-deep Southern accents. I'm not picking on the guy, but he seems to have a major problem with filmmakers. I guess of the NOT Steven Segal type.

I'm sorry, but I get so sick of the way that Southerners say they get misrepresented in the media. I'm a Southerner and, personally, I don't feel offended by most representations. People still talk about the imminent "Rise of the South", Vote Republican, and refuse to believe in Evolution.

Also, the new movie by Kevin Smith is sort of about Fred Phelps, the biggest bigot in the whole country. If you don't know Fred Phelps, he's the preacher/proprietor of godhatesfags.com - I refuse to link to it - and he and his "posse" like to go to the funerals of soldiers who have died in Iraq. To taunt them. I'm not kidding.

So, to me, if you defend Fred Phelps, you're a closet queen. That's the worst insult I could come up for you homophobes.

I Guess I'll Have to Talk About Don Imus, Too

Personally, I'm not horrified by what Don Imus said. I have come to expect that sort of thing from him, and it doesn't surprise me. He's the same as Rush Limbaugh or any of the right-wing piggies who often have denigrating things to say about Blacks in this country.

I don't get it; it doesn't surprise me.

Now, I definitely disagree with what he said. He attempted to make a bad joke, step over the line for comic effect, and he most certainly did one of those things. As Patrice O'Neal said yesterday, "he bombed." It wasn't funny, not in the least, and he should most definitely apologize to the girls of the Rutgers Basketball Team.

And maybe he will get fired. But I will argue that what he said has actually been positive, in a way. His ignorance has shown that people just don't tolerate that nonsense anymore. It's not an inside joke for whites to pick on blacks, and I'm glad.

Don Imus may lose his job over this, also. That he said something so dumb and racist is bad. That people have responded positively is good. It has caused a media flap, and with good reason. But I also think that this shows we are making progress as a country. We'll always have people who oppose it, but I think in the end we're all moving forward.

Have a good day!

Be My Friend on MySpace!

I've been doing a lot of updating to the MySpace page over the past few days, and if you would like to be my friend, just visit:

www.myspace.com/jinxprotocol

I'm really proud of the work I've been doing to it. I only wish that I could modify the Jinx Protocol blog page a little more. Ideally, I'd like to turn it into a 3-column blog, so that my many, many, many links could be viewable from both sides, rather than one crappy column. It's a waste of a whole third of the page. Don't you think?

Anyway, I hit the 50,000 word mark last night in the book! Yep, the third novel is going well, and I hope to be done with the first draft by the end of the month.

Also, I think I might try to write a quickie story for the 1st Best Horror Writer Contest on WritersCafe. I just don't know that I could crank out something that would place in, oh, about two days.

But maybe I'll try.