Jul 11, 2007

[No Subject] - Advertising Is Way Out of Hand

Right now, my 70+ lb. German Shepherd is getting her ass kicked by a ten pound cat. What is the world coming to? Seriously, Ona, show us your heritage. It's proud!

(By the way, she's the big white one in the tub)

Anyway, back to subjects with substance. You know, I get so sick and tired of advertising. Seriously. It's everywhere, man. I feel bombarded by it on a daily basis, and there's not a spot in the world that won't be sponsored someday in the future.

Isn't that a scary thought?

This is the Kotex Field of Cowshit in Butte, Montana. Or the Budweiser Electric Chair in EverypartofTexasever, Texas.

And so on and so forth. I wish I could satirize it, but alas I'm not a satirist...yet.

I am angry, however, and that makes for a good read, doesn't it? Advertising sucks. Especially when I'm trying to watch a movie and everything is pushed so nonchalantly, as if to say, "Oh we didn't mean to have this certain goddamn soda can in the middle of the frame."

If you don't think so, remember the movie Spider-Man. When he's in his room and trying to figure out how to be a web-slinger. He tries to pull what from the counter? A Dr. Pepper can.

If you don't believe it's the truth, check out the tie-ins for the movie. Hmmm. Dr. Pep-per. Interesting.

I know I know. It's not that important. But it is. Just think: there are guys out there literally trying to figure out ways to put advertising in every single spot on the earth. And I'm not even joking. The other day at the mall, there was advertising on the f**king elevator. I wish it were just a sci-fi story, but it's the truth.

And it sucks.

The reason I'm spewing venom - not Venom (ha!) - about this is the recent movie, Transformers. Let me qualify what I'm saying by admitting that I did like the movie. A lot. So that's not the problem.

Actually...there is no problem. So what if there was a lot of GM advertisement in the movie? Huh? Wasn't the whole cartoon series one thirty-minute-long goddamned commercial? Isn't that why they killed off Optimus Prime in the original cartoon movie and made me so cynical today? It's a vicious cycle. They killed off Prime to make up new action figures to take his place.

But they can't. They can't replace Optimus Prime. And I spent so much of my childhood wondering why the Goodest of Good Guys - hey, I was six - could get taken away from me in the first ten minutes of the movie, only to never be brought back.

Advertising. Adver-f**king-tising is to blame. It's why I'm the neurotic prick that I am today. Just remember that when you get tired of it too. And it will happen. Oh yes. It will happen.


  1. The new push is going to to be for in-videogame advertising. It's not just backstop billboards in baseball games any longer. I'm sure that little burst of knowledge won't make you feel any better.

  2. in a commentary by michael bay, he said he uses product placement to cut down on movie costs, so that he can build things that he wouldnt otherwise have in the budget.

    true, ads in movies do often times bring me out of the movie experience, but so do fake brands and whatnot. i think its a delicate balance of realism and fakery.

    and i also loved transformers.

  3. You'd love it here in the UK - product placement is illegal!

    Remember the bit in Lost with the suitcase it was impossible to open... well the reason I can't remember the brand name is because they cut it when they showed it here!

  4. will jinx ever post again....the interweb awaits.