John Edwards Is Out (Of the Presidential Race)

Oh well. That's one more out.

I guess it's down to Clinton and Obama. Oh, and Hillary.

Jerry O'Connell Does a Dead-On (sort of) Tom Cruise

BumWine.Com - For The Men Who (Don't) Have Everything

I can already hear the groans from the PC faction of my fanbase, but since it has been brought to my attention, I have a journalistic obligation to bring BumWine.com to your attention.

Don't I? Well, if you've ever wondered which of the bum wines has the worst taste, then you can find out.

What constitutes a 'Bum Wine'? Cheaply priced and produced alcoholic beverage with as high an alcohol content as possible.

Night Train (Yep! Like the G'N'R song!), MD 20/20, Wild Irish Rose. Those are all bum wines. If you find yourself drinking one of these, put down the bottle and make sure that you have a residence. Please.

Election 2008: A Real (Cynical) Perspective

Rolling Stone correspondent Matt Taibbi has done some amazing, insightful work on the campaign trail, and its not skewed to benefit Democrats and its not the sort of ego masturbation that seems to go on in the mainstream media.

After reading the newest Taibbi article in my Rolling Stone, I tried to move over to Time and read something about John McCain and was so appalingly let-down that I could barely finish it.

I guess I'm really looking for something that reads between the lines and doesn't spout the unpalatable rhetoric which has dominated the contest so far. Blech. The last thing I need to hear about is more 'Change' nonsense. It's denigrating your intelligence to experience more of the same nothing that we get from our news sources.

To read some of Taibbi's writing, click here.

Even MORE Scientology Bunk

If you're as enthralled with learing about Scientology as I am, then you should check out this link, composed by a former Scientologist.

It's more technical than the other critiques (Read: South Park) you've seen online. The optimum tactic is brainwashing through repetition, ostensibly, and the author sheds light on Auditing, the ever-pervasive information collection technique of the 'Church'.

You can find passages like the following on the link:

In the south park episode "trapped in the closet" [comedycentral.com], they did a cartoon version of the OT3 materials labeled "This Is what Scientologists Actually Believe", if Matt and Trey has been members of the church, they would have been ex-communicated very quickly. The church would have almost definitely told Issac Hayes to "dissconnect" from them or otherwise become ineligible for any future Scientology services or auditing.

I rest my case.

Kwanzoo - Stupid Name, Smart Trivia

I've been addicted to Kwanzoo.com, a movie/tv trivia site. Some of the question, you can tell, have been composed by 14-year-olds, but the others are valid and entertaining. It'd be good to play a drinking game while checking out this site.

Everbody's Gone Get A Check

I will count this post as my weekly/monthly/yearly economic update. The economy is going into the tank, so the Federal Government thinks giving everybody at least 300 bucks is going to solve our problems.

It probably won't, but I find myself thinking that I could really use the money. This is where my principles and my pragmatism fall into conflict. 300 dollars could help me out in a lot of ways, and not just for the giant tub of mayonnaise I've had my eye on at Wal-Mart.

My mantra of 2008 is debt-reduction. Maybe the FedGov could adopt it, too.

Paul Thomas Anderson: A Horror Movie?

PTA's next movie may be a horror flick. No information as of yet, but you can read the non-story over at Bloody Disgusting.

Watch the new AVGN Video: Rambo

The new Angry Video Game Nerd Video is available at Gametrailers.com. It's about a historically horrible game, Rambo. Stop it. I can hear you seething.

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/29877.html

Amy Winehouse Caught Smoking Crack (Insert Some Cheap Joke About Rehab)!!!

I know that she is so far beyond help now, but Amy Winehouse was caught on tape smoking crack. It's just interesting enough for me to put on the Olde Blogge here, though.



I've had trouble with links and vids lately, so I'll post the link to the video in addition to the video above. You can catch the "singer" lighting up at about 1:30 into this strange little two minute journey.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2493561172073804577&q=
amy+winehouse+crack&total=112&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1

More Scientology Bunk

I know that I went on a pretty anti-Scientology crusade for awhile, but there was so much to battle that I got tired of holding the sword. Sexual innuendo aside, you can find a juicy Propaganda Tape right here, courtesy of Gawker.com.

The plot thickens...and you'll have to watch the video before the LOX (Lawyers of Xenu) file some sort of lawsuit or complaint or whatever. Plus, it has Kirstie Alley!

Heath Ledger Found Dead in NYC Apartment

First, Brad Renfro. Now, Heath Ledger. 25 and 28 years old, respectively. Both dead. It's odd.

Speculation is that Heath Ledger died of either an accidental overdose or a suicide. Pills were found all around him in his apartment in New York City.

I've got to be perfectly honest in saying that, for the longest time, I didn't really like Heath Ledger as an actor. I hope that's an okay thing for me to say in lieu of his death.

But I didn't. I never cared for 'A Knight's Tale' or 'The Patriot.' '10 Things I Hate About You' didn't exactly thrill me.

And yet I grew to respect him as an actor, especially after 'Brokeback Mountain.' I'm looking forward to seeing him as The Joker in 'The Dark Knight', the sequel to Christopher Nolan's 'Batman Begins'. He was a good actor and perhaps a troubled man.

I hate to take a swipe at Britney Spears here, but it does seem that maybe the coverage of her trainwreck of a life may prevent other stars from coming forward with news of their own addictions and personal problems.

The line between a respectful sort of personal trouble and a public circus is often hard to decipher, especially with the unabashed and hysterical media we have in this country. In all of this, I certainly hope that it wasn't our patronizing view of young starlets which may have prevented Heath Ledger from getting help.

50 Pages into the Fifth Novel, and it's a Drag.

My newest book is a pulpy sort of first person crime novel - no horror in it (frown) - tentatively titled One Last Drag. It's set in my fictional Athens-y town of Pine Hollow, and the bodies are starting to pile up. It's awesome!

My GRE Practice Test

Last night I downloaded the free software from the GRE Testing Site and took my first practice test.

I've got to say that I didn't do as poorly as I thought I would. 560 Verbal and 600 Math. 1160 Total. I'm hoping that, over the next two weeks I can study well enough to get the verbal score up another forty points or so, but it's REALLY difficult to get a 600 on the verbal. Or so I hear.

Be FilmWise: Visit Filmwise.com

If you think you know more about movies than anyone else, here's a good way to test your knowledge. Go to FilmWise and take a few of their movie quizzes. They're great time-wasters, and they're pretty effing tricky, if you don't know your stuf.

They have text (traditional) quizzes and visual tests. The Invisible Tests are a favorite of mine. But they also have a quiz called You Make Me Sick, which chronicles the best in movie regurgitation. Don't think that knowing the Exorcist had puke in it will get you a good score; some of them are fairly difficult to pick out.

Headline: Best bowl impression has Georgia looking like 2008's top Dawg

Dennis Dodd, some form of a sports guy, I suppose, has Georgia no. 1 for next season. I'll have to sound like a Homer and say that they should have this year. But I digress.

I don't know the guy, but I can see when a guy can see talent. He's dead on with the Dawgs as the Numero Uno team in the nation, but you can never underestimate UGA's ability to crumble under pressure. Let's hope that doesn't happen this year and the Dawgs can maintain throughout the whole season.

You can read the blog entry here.

Sample Quote:

Last time we checked Colt Brennan had dropped a couple of rounds in the draft after facing Georgia's NFL-like defense in the Sugar Bowl.

http://cbs.sportsline.com/collegefootball/story/10578831/rss

Diagramming the Preamble to the Constitution

On Boingboing.net, I found this nifty little link, in which a guy diagrammed the Preamble to the Constitution. I never realized how convoluted that sentence really is.

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/01/17/diagramming-the-prea.html

The New Wii Schedule

The new Wii video game schedule has been released and - guess what - there are a lot of crappy games coming to the Wii in the next several months.

Well, Super Smash Brothers: Brawl will hit the system next month, and I'm especially looking forward to the new Mario Kart Wii, which will also come with a wheel (or should I say Wiil). Exciting!

Also on the list is another Alone in the Dark game and Cooking Mama Cook-Off 2 (Did they not say all they needed to with the first one?).

The Indiana Jones: LEGO game will also be hitting the Wii early this year. I hate to say it, but this may be a fairly light 3rd party year for the Nintendo system. They'll probably have to rely on their own games to keep the system afloat or (and I doubt they would ever do this) stop licensing so many bad games through hack 3rd party developers.

Bywater Body Found

Because I've kept you abreast of what happened in the Cayle Bywater disappearance, I feel it is my obligation to let you know also that her body has finally been found.

The coroner's autopsy has also found that no foul play was involved, as it was an apparent drowning at Memorial Park Lake in Athens, GA off Gran Ellen Drive.

Although she is dead, there is perhaps solace to be found in the fact that it was not due to someone else's actions that she has died, as was the case with the other disappearance in North Georgia earlier this month.

According to an online blog - FindCayle.Blogspot.com - there will be a service at Memorial Park in Athens on Saturday, January 20. Friendly dogs (on leashes) are invited as well.

Also, for possible donations, the site has the following contact information:

The family appreciates any donations to assist with the memorial services for Cayle. Thank You. If you prefer to send a check please make payable to: Cayle Bywater Relief Fund, 3780 Mansell Road, Suite 450, Alpharetta, Georgia 30022 The Cayle Bywater Relief Fund is a non-profit organization and in process of filing for 501(c)(3) tax exemption status.

Update on Missing Person

It is odd to have two pretty high-profile-and unrelated-missing persons cases in North Georgia within a few days of each other, I must say.

A few things have come to light in the last few days. The woman in question, Cayle Bywater, was last seen at nearby Memorial Park on December 29 and has been found to be in the background of a picture taken that same day at 4 pm (Source).

Also, Bywater suffers from bipolar disorder, though the police and the girl's family believe it had nothing to do with her disappearance. A pair of eyeglasses that match the pair Bywater was known to have worn was found at Memorial Park this morning (Source).

She was last seen looking for her dog at Memorial Park. The above-mentioned picture confirms that the dog was in her possession as of 4 pm on the day of her disappearance. A thorough search of the Park's premises turned up nothing, and bloodhounds used to track the scent stopped in front of her residence, which is where they think an abduction may have taken place (Source).

So far, this is all that I know. It's the sort of thing that just sort of happens every once in a while in Athens. Something inexplicable happens. I just hope they can find the girl before something-anything-happens.

The New Year

All right. Screw the end of the year list I was thinking of doing. I'm sorry. I just got caught up in that palatable nonsense and thought it would be important if I did my own EOTYear List.

It's not important. It's not important at all.

What I do need to talk about in this blog is important and - if I may channel Tyra Banks for a moment - has something/somewhat to do with me.

And a missing woman.

I'm not joking.

Last year - actually, for two years - I lived in a duplex on South Milledge Avenue in Athens. My half was 2002 S. Milledge. The other half was 2004 S. Milledge.

On December 30, 2007, the woman who lived in the 2004 part disappeared. Her wallet phone, keys, and dog were found at the house (the dog was running loose), and the door to the unfinished basement was open.

Now, this is a creepy occurrence, and yet it makes it all the more creepy that I lived next door. Now, the fact that I moved out nearly six months before this took place will not stop me from co-opting the oddity of the story.

This sort of thing doesn't happen that often in Athens, GA, I can tell you that.

You can read an updated story on the disappearance here, by clicking on this sentence.

I'll try to keep you updated.

2007: In Review

I read many, many magazines every week/month/whathaveyou, and every one of them has paraded around 'The Year in Review'. What a self-absorbed idea. We're going to spend an entire issue telling you what you should have been doing all along this year, and it's going to cost you an issue off your subscription. Double whammy!

So, that being said, here's my top stuff of 2007 (Don't you dare say I'm not self-absorbed):

The 3 Best Movies of 2007 (That I Happened to See):

1. No Country for Old Men - Coen Brothers in classic form. As good as Fargo and as creepy as Blood Simple. A thinking man's crime flick, though, so if your knuckles ever bleed from dragging on the ground, then don't go see this movie.

2. Grindhouse (DeathProof/Planet Terror) - An experiment that both worked and didn't. The movie itself is a schlocky achievement, a throwback to 70s exploitation cinema, but it did none too well at the box office.

3. Superbad - A movie for every guy in high school who would kill to have something similar happen to him. Period. And it uses curse words a lot. Thank God. PG-13 sex comedies are the pits, man.

My 3 Favorite Novels of 2007 (Even though they didn't come out this year):
I was sort of too broke to buy a lot of books which came out this year, so I'll cull together the best 3 I read this calender year.

1. Child of God - Cormac McCarthy
This guy is brilliant. Child of God is about a guy who lives in the mountains and only comes down to kill people and then molest them. It's harrowing and a damn short read. Run to the bookstore if necrophiliac southerners appeal to you.

2. The Girl Next Door - Jack Ketchum
Easily the most disturbing book I've ever read, about a group of boys who torture a girl in their neighborhood. But, as I've said before, Jack Ketchum is the most underrated pop horror talent in the world.

3. Florence of Arabia - Christopher Buckley
No fiction novel captures the essence of the Middle East and our situation so effortlessly. I read the book in a single day. It's very, very difficult to put down.

The Best/Worst Presidential Soundbyte of 2007:

"I'm pretty sure there will be duck-hunting in heaven and I can't wait!"
-Republican hopeful Mike Huckabee. He also has said that we wouldn't have an immigration problem if abortion were illegal. Hmmm. Zany!

"You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran."
-I'm not sure if he's even running for president anymore, but John McCain sure does have oddly short arms!

"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."
-Hillary Clinton, just before being told what Communism really means.

To Be Continued...

Coens & Tommy Lee Jones Discussing 'Genre Westerns'

I'm not a jingoistic sort of fellow. I don't jump on the 'America Rules the World' bandwagon very often, but after seeing this documentary, I have to admit that I felt an amount of pride for my home country.

'Air Guitar Nation' follows the exploits of the first American - C-Diddy, respectively - to be allowed to enter the World Air Guitar Championships.

You probably think that I'm being facetious, but I'm not. Even though Rock Music was invented in the US, The World Championships takes place in Oulu, Finland, and the other countries remain hostile to the newest contender for the title throughout the documentary.

The tension of the film builds to a pretty finger-biting conclusion on the world stage (no pun intended), as C-Diddy performs his signature tune for the 5,000 Finnish viewers. You will question it. Will he win? What happens if he doesn't? Does that mean that we're a joke? Is there something that we're not good at, and will losing it reveal that we're not really good at anything?

And so on and so forth.

C-Diddy even has a web site with a Cafe Press shop, where you can buy t-shirts and Such. I'm tempted.

Is George W. Bush Made of Teflon?

The latest scandal involving The White House has me wondering, Is there anything that will stick to This President? Or this Administration? Or anyone in this Administration (Scooter Libby excluded)?

I cribbed the above quote from the stand-up of David Cross (A) because it's so true and because - even more alarmingly - (B) it was spoken years ago, before the appearance of the majority of these scandals.

Plamegate, and now, Waterboarding-Gate (which I'll even admit is a tad too cute and glib for its own good) calls into question whether or not the President even gives a crap that laws are (allegedly) being smashed into little pieces. And, as hot as Dana Perino is, she's no good at covering up all of the clandestine shit they've involved themselves in.

But enough about that. I'll have to now turn on the Dems for a moment. Democrats, you can't go around scolding Rudy Giuliani for doing something that, ostensibly, Bill Clinton did a decade ago. The only difference is that Rudy Giuliani at least had the common courtesy to give his mistress a cool ride home on the government's dime.