Cinema Collection of 2009

Lasting seven minutes and consisting of clips of 143 movies, here is a montage of the best of cinema from 2009. It's a well-edited piece and deserving a watch. It even sort of makes you want to watch the movies that didn't do so well this year.

Audio Surf: Ride Your Music

Audiosurf is a music-adapting puzzle racer where you use your own music to create your own experience. The shape, the speed, and the mood of each ride is determined by the song you choose.

You earn points for clustering together blocks of the same color on the highway, and compete with others on the internet for the high score on your favorite songs.

Go to the site: Audio-Surf.com

The Moviegoer on...Sherlock Holmes

  
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"...And All Through the House" Review

WiiWaa - Nintendo's Weird New Innovation

The Moviegoer on...The Road

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As great as the book was, could The Road be adapted into a movie of equal, or superior, quality? Hear what the Moviegoer says.

The Moviegoer on...Avatar

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Could James Cameron's return after a decade-plus absence be the best movie of the decade? Hear what the Moviegoer has to see about Cameron's latest epic.

The Videogamer on...Why the Wii Sucks

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Here's the first of what I hope is a new feature of Jinx Protocol. In under two minutes, I'm going to take apart or put together a topic of my choosing. Some mini-pods will be by the Videogamer and others by the Moviegoer. Enjoy!

Appaloosa: A Review

Starring: Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Renee Zellweger, Jeremy Irons, Peter Pettigrew, The Coach from 'Major League'.

Directed by: Ed Harris

Overall: ***1/2

Most crime movies are westerns disguised as crime movies. Elmore Leonard wrote crime novels that were more or less westerns dressed up with snarky dialogue and showdowns set in Detroit instead of Dodge City. Robert B. Parker, as it were, writes westerns disguised as crime novels. Well, that's not necessarily true, as 'Appaloosa' is about as bare-bones a movie can be (based on Parker's novel). But the relationship between Harris's and Zellweger's characters is more reminiscent of Humphrey Bogart movies than John Wayne ones. In fact, all of the relationships between characters are reminiscent of crime flicks than of their dirtier, horse-filled counterparts. The "sheriff", Virgil Cole (played excellently by Harris), has a buddy-cop banter with his "deputy", Everett Hitch (Mortensen). Virgil, like a husband stumped by the weekly crossword at the breakfast table, can always count on his erstwhile partner Hitch to deliver a word that's just out of reach for him. Similarly, Hitch is unfaltering in his admiration for the other half of the gun-wielding duo, supplying the other on-screen characters with a steady stream of compliments about the man's better qualities. In that respect, the movie tries to balance the (crime)western and the love story between Virgil and Hitch, but it is often disrupted by the appearance of Ally (Zellweger's character and Virgil's ostensible love interest).

Westerns are typically movies in which men are men and women wash the dishes. 'Unforgiven', Clint Eastwood's superb revisionist tale, ushered in a sort-of new era in the Western, leading up to the 00s. What we have seen recently is a spate of films influenced by books influenced by movies. It's a post-revisionist, post-western world we live in, in which the dynamic in the films is slowly trying to be placed gently in the pre-revisionist cradle, for people who yearn for John Wayne.

However, 'Appaloosa' is just proof that there has been too much intermingling between genres for us to return to simple, unironic storytelling. While the sexual charge between lonely men in westerns pre-1966 was only implied, now it is either overt or too blunt to miss. It's as though we cannot tell a western with a straight face anymore (no pun intended). If you don't believe me, please - pretty please - watch 'Appaloosa'. At one point, Everett, in chiding Ally, basically says, "You and Virgil are together, and so are Virgil and I. We are all together." If there had been no guns and halfway through the film it were revealed that Everett was a woman, no one paying attention would have been surprised.

And it's not as though I've tried to lay the sexual framework onto the movie. It's either deliberately there, the director (Harris) honestly does not see it, or else he is baiting the audience. I'd like to think it is a mixture of all three, since it's too there for anyone to miss it. Coming in, I had expected a straightforward, old school western, but I got so much more. Even though it is full of violence - often actually representative of the "misunderstood" silent type routine - and of action and brooding, the chemistry between the three main characters outweighs it all. It's not always intriguing - in fact, sometimes it's downright tedious - but it seems as though that was what Ed Harris was going for in the direction, so he gets extra points for effort there. It wasn't a straight-faced telling of the typical western, but it does maintain plenty of the genre's staples: kidnapping, damsels in distress, trains, "Injuns", gunfights, love triangles, long silences, horses, and, of course, funny mustaches.

Comic Book Heroes Transposed Into Old War Photos

From The House of Milk:

There is a collection of photos from WWII showcasing superheroes in the thick of battle, palavering with generals and such, and just being awesomely Photoshopped into the action. I posted something similar, except it had to do with Star Wars instead of Comic Books.

Australian Astrologer Gets Ostracized on Aussie Show

I am almost embarrassed for astrologers who come on television and then get shown for the hacks that they are...almost. See, the problem comes in when people live their lives by delusions created by charlatans who give them a false sense of hope...based on what? It doesn't take a Mensa member to know that twins do not suffer the same fate. Astrology offered humanity a quaint, basic form of "predicting" that is no longer necessary or viable in the slightest sense, and the more that we come to know about the world, the less astrology can offer it.

Roger Ebert: On James Cameron's Avatar

Watching "Avatar," I felt sort of the same as when I saw "Star Wars" in 1977. That was another movie I walked into with uncertain expectations. James Cameron's film has been the subject of relentlessly dubious advance buzz, just as his "Titanic" was. Once again, he has silenced the doubters by simply delivering an extraordinary film.

~Roger Ebert, Avatar

I've been thinking about James Cameron quite more than usual lately. Thinking about him at all is quite more than usual, but anyway. I've wondered just what got into his mind that he would think that sinking 250 million bucks into Avatar would be a good idea. I've heard comparisons to a live-action 'Ferngully', which doesn't make me think it would draw in enough people to cover half of the budget put into it, let alone make the movie worth seeing.

However, and I can take it with a grain of salt, there is a near-unanimous consent on 'Avatar' from the critics. Roger Ebert could not have gushed more expansively if he tried. Of all the 33 critics on Rotten Tomatoes, only three have slapped it with a rotten rating (and I wonder how much ire was directed at the hype, rather than that movie). It's still got a week before release, and whether or not the hype worked will be evident after next weekend - or perhaps the next, depending on word of mouth - so we'll see.

The Hitcher (2007) Review

Protocast 2: The Music Industry, My Undying Love for Nickelback, Etc.

Is it already time for another podcast? Indeed, it is. This week's Protocast deals with my thoughts on the music industry. Specifically, I talk about how the structure of the industry allows bands like Nickelback (and bands that sound like Nickelback) to command the airwaves with such authority.

The Day the Earth Stood Still Review

In addition to podcasting, I've decided to throw my hat into the ring of scores of nobodies posting videos to YouTube, so they may be ignored by millions upon millions of people.

Your first question - other than 'Why would you do this in the first place?' - might be, 'Why are you reviewing 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'? Well, I just saw it a couple days ago, and that's the major reason. I figured, Why not start with a movie you just saw, even if it came out last year. I'm going to try and be on the ball a little better in the future and review upcoming or recently released movies, but this is a test run, so bear with me.

If you just want to listen to just the audio (for some reason), you can go over to Clickcaster and check it out, or you can just listen below.

Kazookeylele - 'The Final Countdown'

And now for a cover version of the song that was NOT in Rocky IV, here's 'The Final Countdown' on a hybrid Kazoo/Ukulele, the Kazookulele.

AS an added bonus, here's the total rock upgrade version of the song, complete with echo, drums, and distorted guitar. You're welcome.

41-Hour Elevator Ride

This is a time-elapse video showcasing a man named Nicholas White trapped in an elevator for just over 40 hours, after he had gone out for a cigarette break. There is an accompanying New Yorker article. Read the article.

A Short, Surreal MindBomb

I don't know that I have words to describe this video. Watch it and tell me what you think.

Giving for the Holidays Through "First Giving"

Though I'm not overly sentimental about the holiday season, I do recognize and support efforts to be more universally generous. It has a great impact, even if but for a short amount of time. It is a shame that we tend to only recognize how little others have in a time when we end up spending the most money on gifts that end up in the backs of closets and in storage.

Either way, I've been thinking about having people donate money to charity rather than give me presents for Christmas for years, but it's one of those "next year" tasks that didn't seem like it would ever get done.

Well, this year it's going to happen, in large part to my friend, Maria, who posted a link to a site that allows you to set up a personal web page where people can donate sort of directly to you, and the money raised ends up going to the charity. Thank you, Maria.

Gifts are fine, in my book, but I've reached a point in my life where I have just about everything I could ever need or want and would rather see that money go to a cause that might save someone's life.

The site is First Giving, and it has a fairly simple user interface, so I was able to be up and running in a matter of minutes. Now all I have to do is get the word out to people, which is what I'm trying to do now! You can visit my personal page, which has been set up to donate to the American Cancer Society.

Like I say on the page itself, very few people go through life without being affected in some way by cancer, so I thought it would be a sort of universal cause to pick for a charity. I have lost family members to cancer, and recently, but so have millions of other people, so it behooved me to choose the ACS. I didn't set a goal, and I don't want to be presumptuous and self-important, but donate if you can. If you can't, try to do something else to give back.

Even if you don't feel comfortable giving to the ACS, think about picking up a toy to donate to 'Toys for Tots' or participate in a holiday food drive. That's all. I just wanted to get the message out there. Thanks so much.

Bill Bryson - Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid

I just finished reading 'The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid', which is by far one of the most entertaining and yet informative memoirs I have ever read. It was written by Bill Bryson, and its greatest accomplishment IMHO is recreating the world of the 1950s in the Midwest of America so that I felt as thought I was there, or at least could have been there.

I am generally enamored of all of Bryson's works, and, though this work ranks up there, it is hardly my favorite. I am extremely partial to A Walk in the Woods, for example. It has lit a fire under me, has made me think that someday even I could hop on the Appalachian Trail and experience its singular wonder.

If you get a chance, check out, rent, borrow, buy, or steal(just kidding) one of Bryson's works. If you're too lazy to do it yourself, here is Amazon's Bill Bryson page. Take a gander at it.

Protocast 1: Netflix/PS3, MoH, Horror Movies, Lost, Fringe, and Dollhouse.

Here is the first 'Protocast'. I discuss a lot of stuff, but mostly I stick to horror/scifi, so beware. 25 min.

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-8cb5dfbd206bb8a064595abcc5e3f622}

The History of Data Storage

Geekologie has posted a wonderful "history" of data storage, from floppy disks to flash drives. It's really amazing to see just how quickly we've come in such a short amount of time. Even as I type this, I feel like it's already out of date.

Animatronic Head

I really, honestly have to admit that this is by far one of the creepiest videos I've posted on the blog in a while. Technology is truly getting out of hand when the animatronic heads we produce look real, and not real in that "banana" flavor we get in candy, but real in a real way, like in the video above. It's only :20 long, but it's quite haunting to see that we've reached the point that we can duplicate humanity with such ease. Blech.

Half-Life 2 Casting

I have been oddly obsessed with the world of 'Half-Life' for the last couple of weeks. It's not as though I have a reason to. I haven't been playing the games, not any one of them. I haven't so much as thought about the games, really, but I keep running across creative depictions of the game(s), so I feel obliged to blog about them. Hmmm.

Bill Bryson's Notes From a Large Hadron Collider

I have been obsessed with Bill Bryson's books for the last several months, so occasionally I'll enter his name into the Google News search engine and see what's happening with the country's favorite travelogue writer from across the pond-slash-Iowa. Today I found the following morsel of writing.

From The Times Online:

In the event that it fell to you to identify the most exciting place on the planet, the likelihood is small, I imagine, that you would pack a bag and travel at once to Switzerland. Still less, I dare say, would you turn your back on Geneva and head out past its western suburbs and into the pleasant but uneventful countryside beyond. There, in a broad valley shared with France, stands a collection of buildings that look like the leftovers from a 1960s Festival of Bad Design.

This is it. You have found it. This is CERN, the European Organisation for Nuclear Research. Over the next few days the people who run the place will cautiously restart the immensely large machine (almost 27 kilometres around) known as the Large Hadron Collider and begin swooshing particles around it in a way that will, when it is fully humming, recreate conditions as they were in the Universe one millionth of a millionth of a second after the beginning of the big bang.

Read the entire article here.