Clawing to Stand Still

Time just goes by so fast. I want things to slow down a little bit, so I can enjoy life more...on the weekends. And, while weekends fly by, the actual work week seems to drag on for years. I wonder why that is. Hmm. It's almost three times as big - a six to one ration, if you work on Saturday - and that's a shame. So I propose that the weekend now start on Friday. Everybody with me? Okay, here's the plan: Just don't show up on Friday. I've already called and let all of the bosses know. This has got to be a change by the People.

Just kidding. But I'm twenty-five, man. If I can't stop and ponder life every once in awhile, I'll be forty before I know it.

And that's scary, forty being the new twenty or not.

BUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUM - Go BAMA!

Just kidding. I just felt that I had to rub Bama's node in the piddle a little bit, after what Wallace Gilberry had to say this past week.

I don't know anything about him. But after the game Saturday, I can tell you anything you want to know -- his birthday, his phone number, his home address. I'm serious, because I will know.

I've got to know where to send the flowers.

Flowers, indeed. The only thing that would have made last night's victory even better would be a Wallace Gilberry injury. Or if Matt Stafford could have made him look stupid. A crazy juke during one of his scrambles or something like that.

Wallace Gilberry is a moron. Terrell Owens Lite. And now he looks really stupid, so thank God for that. Like Pat Dye. And he's only given us a reason to have a chip on our shoulder for the rest of the season.

Back to You...Countdown to Cancellation

Well, it's official. The new Kelsey Grammar FOX sitcom, Back to You, about a Pittsburgh television station anchorperson, is really funny. It's really funny, actually, and it's a 'classic'-style sitcom.

And, since it's on FOX, I can't get attached. It might get canceled next week.

Sometimes Having a Pulse Just Isn't Enough

A Professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

~W.H. Auden

I know this shouldn't piss me off, because it doesn't surprise me, but sometimes I just can't help it. I have to be obtuse just to make a point.

How is it that people can actually not remember what year the September 11 attacks happened? I mean, come on, it only happened a few years ago. It's not like it's the 2000 election, of which a lot of people are unsure of the year.

I'm kidding. But seriously, TMZ - that bastion of journalistic integrity - camped outside of a trendy LA night club (those who watch The Hills know which one), asking people if they could name the date of the September 11 attacks.

One girl actually said, "It doesn't matter." Which, the more I think about it, is actually a pretty deep statement.

Isn't the fact that it did happen enough, people? Won't those images forever be burned into our minds? Leave history to the historians, man. What does it prove to stump a dozen or so braindead socialites with such a trival question?

What year did September 11 happen indeed. It's not important. Like Independence Day. When is that? If not for the kick-ass day of drinking and not going to work, would anybody even know when it is? Do they know it anyway? If they don't know it now and wouldn't have known it were it not a national holday, then would the date be important?

Answer: Yeah, to smart people. So who cares when Lincoln was shot or when the bomb was dropped, whatever that even means. If you can get by in life by knowing the names of all of Brangelina's children, then so be it. I mean, fuck, the President doesn't even have to know the difference between Austrians and Australians, and he's the President! Maybe the adoption sagas of celebrities will be great fodder for elections in a couple of decades.

Please kill me now. Paint the walls with my brains.

Cuts Like a Knife

I could be referring to Poison with the above quote, or it could be Bryan Adams, if you remember the song 'Cuts Like a Knife.'

Either way it hurts. I don't necessarily think that the first loss of the season always hurts the most, but you can't tell me right now that this one won't.

The Dawgs lost to South Carolina today - whose mascot is a chicken, if you didn't already know - and it hurts pretty bad, not because we lost, but because we didn't even deserve to win that game.

The Gamecocks played their asses off, and we didn't. Plain and simple. We didn't adjust at halftime; we had some bad play-calling; Steve Spurrier is USC's coach. I could go on and on.

I'm sitting in pajama shorts - ladies behave yourselves, I'm taken - and drinking a Woodstock IPA, just FYI. I didn't even bother to go to the game today. Scalpers make it very difficult to make it to a highly contested game (like the one today) without paying dearly for it.

And, believe me folks, I didn't have the money to play that game. No pun intended. 50$/ticket was the going rate. I figured that, since I'm paying well over a hundred bucks a month for cable, I might as well take advantage of it today.

But yeah, so we've lost to post-Florida Steve Spurrier for the first time. So what. Let's just not make it a yearly thing, and I think I'll be all right.

And there's still hope for us winning the East, if USC loses a few conference games. I'm hoping that the Gators will beat them and we will beat Florida. Then everything will be on a more even keel.

I know that most of you don't care very much about college football, but I do, so I had to have an outlet for my displeasure with the way the game went. The last ten minutes of the game, I was pretty much pacing around the apartment - in my undies - mumbling to myself like Dustin Hoffman from that movie he did with Jerry Maguire.

We need a turnover. Yeah, a pick or a fumble. Why haven't there been any turnovers tonight? A pick or a fumble or an incomplete pass. Any of that will do.

And so on.

Anyway, everybody enjoy the rest of your weekend, and we'll see ya very soon.

I Hate to Use an Olde Expressione, but...

...thank god it's Friday. I've had a not-so-good week, and thankfully it's coming to a close. Friday's are hardly bad, because only assholes are in bad moods on Friday, and I usually only get into bad moods when people around me are in bad moods.

Enough about moods.

But I did get some great news today. Not personal news, but news nonetheless. A bill is - let's cross our fingers - going to pass, resulting in "A Student Loan Overhaul".

I wouldn't go so far as to call it an 'overhaul.' It's an incremental step, at best, and I will accept an incremental step in the right direction any day over a step backward. Companies dealing in student loans have bent students over for long enough, so it's good to have a little equalizing in the matter.

The biggest steps are that the Pell Grant will be raised and the minimum payment for graduates can be no higher than 15% of their income on accrued loans. Which, I think, is a great step. Furthermore, the debt forgiveness provision has been strengthened for people who work in service industries.

And another thing about Student Loans: Go Dawgs. I hope we beat the Cocks tomorrow. The Gamecocks, of course. Tailgating will be fun. If you're not from the South, then I don't think you can be given any idea of what true tailgating is like. I say that not to be exclusionary or snide, but because it's pretty crazy down here. Almost all of Athens shuts down for the day, and nearly every law is conservatively enforced, especially where open containers are concerned.

Besides work and drinking - er, uh, 'tailgating' - there's writing. I'm still editing the first novel. A whole overhaul is going on with 'BloodMuse' - not to be confused with the Student Loan 'overhaul'. I'm over 200 pages in, and I hope that it's not going to be too terribly much longer. Another hundred pages and then this book is DONE! I hope to never see it again until it's in print.

If it ever goes to print. Oh well. If it doesn't, then I'll at least self-publish it, and then all of you can buy it and make me (not)RICH.

Other than talking about student loans and drinking - er, uh, 'tailgating' - and writing, I've been drinking some good beer. Not a lot of beer, but a higher quality beer. Leinenkugel, actually, makes a great Oktoberfest, and I've been addicted to that. I guess I shouldn't use that language with alcohol, but it's pretty tasty.

In fact, I've become a Homer for beers made by Leinenkugel. The Summer Shandy, if you haven't had it, is great. It's a summer ale made with Lemonade. It sounds gross, but it's a really good beer. And cheaper-ish, like 6.99 a six-pack. But you should hurry out to get them, though, because the Summer Shandy and the Oktoberfest are both limited release.

Other than talking about student loans and drinking - er, uh, 'tailgating' - and writing and drinking some good beer, I've been playing Wii. Although, hold on. What's weird is that I've been playing the games I bought for the Virtual Console (i.e. the Intendo Games). Now, even though it's a cool idea, I feel stupid playing Intendo Games on a console LP and I paid over 300 dollars for.

'Castlevania' rocks, though.

Have a good weekend, all. WATCH COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!

I HATE peta SO MUCH

I hate PETA so very much. Hate is a strong word. I wish I could think of something more harsh, but hate is all I have.

I've never been a big fan of PETA, but now I think I hate Michael Vick even more. You know why? Because Michael Vick has finally made PETA acceptable and has made the organization actually sympathetic.

I liked PETA more when they were an underground organization and broke into places to contaminate food for animals. Or when they adopted animals and then killed them. Oh wait, they still do that.

Bunch of hypocrites. They are the 'anointed' ones, and no matter if you know more than they do, they still pretend that they have dominion over 'their' topic. Like animals. And they don't. Many of those people are so goddamned crazy that they have no idea what they're talking about.

Ingrid Newkirk once compared animal farms to Nazi death camps and actually had the gall to pen a letter to Timothy McVeigh, asking him to 'die a vegan.'

Ingrid Newkirk wants everyone to look beyond the organization's absurd tactics to see what lies beneath it all. Impossible. Granted, I am a dog-owner and I love my pets. But that's it. They're pets. If they ever harmed a human being without provocation, especially a family member or friend, I would be the first to put them down.

Because I love them. And I wouldn't want to remember them as violent.

PETA would have you believe that putting animals down is wrong. Yet the organization has put down over 10000 animals over the last several years. Of course the article I'm using has a fair share of propaganda to it, and I do believe that what Michael Vick did was abhorrent, but I also think that PETA can take no moral high ground here.

PETAns believe that interfering with animals is wrong. HOw much more can you interfere with an animal than to kill it?

"PETA has shamelessly used the horrific Michael Vick case to pad their group’s coffers, even though their track record of slaughtering thousands of helpless, adoptable animals is far more damning,” said CCF Director of Research David Martosko. “Americans need to be aware of how PETA treats animals in their care and reject the group’s overt hypocrisy.”

Documents obtained by the Center for Consumer Freedom from the Virginia State Veterinarian show that between 1998 and 2005 PETA killed more than 14,400 dogs, cats, and other animals.

In addition to the thousands of animals that were killed at their headquarters, two PETA employees in North Carolina admitted to killing dozens of dogs and cats in a roving “death van” and tossing their bodies into a trash dumpster."

Happy Labor Day!

Landing for the Flight of the Conchords

HBO does Sunday night television better than anybody - probably better than all of the 'major' networks put together - yet some shows seem to fall through the cracks.

Flight of the Conchords is one of those shows.

If you haven't been watching Flight of the Conchords on HBO, then you've been completely missing out on a great comedy. Well, I have to admit that it's not for everyone, but if you're a fan of Tenacious D, then you might want to give it a try. It's a 'Life and Times of Rock-n-Rollers' spoof, starring a couple of pseudo-folk-comedy Kiwis in the title roles.

The season finale is next week, so you'd have to catch it pretty fast. Thankfully, a second season has been picked up. I was afraid that the show would befall the same fate as a couple of underrated - and underwatched, obviously - TV shows from HBO's past.

'I don't rap about bitches and hoes; I rap about witches and trolls' is a line from the song they did about the Lord of the Rings. It's not as conceptual as Tenacious D, yet it's not very commercial either.

You may recognize bass player Jermaine from some Outback commercials - even though the pair is from New Zealand, not Australia - but other than that they're fairly green. Jermaine is the 'not as good, mom' guy in the Outback commercials. Well, anyway, it's a cool show. It's set in New York, and people from New York are cool, right?

I was so impressed that I looked up the tab for the songs they do on the show. 'Albi the Racist Dragon' is a personal favorite of mine.

Check out the tab by clicking here.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions. Samuel Johnson sort of said that way back in the day, and it's one of my favorite quotes. A) Because my intention was to blog every day and B) because it pretty much kicks ass.

A lot has been going on in my life lately, but I have missed you guys quite a bit. It's good to get on here and vent about my life. And, right now, I can't say that my life completely sucks. It's actually going all right.

Maybe I'm just growing up a little bit, but the little things that used to drive me crazy really don't anymore. I can shrug it off for the most part, it being all of THE LITTLE THINGS, that great entity which has caused so many strokes and heart attacks.

Maybe, and here's just one of my crazy tangents, but just maybe we should study THE LITTLE THINGS and their effect on health. Because I'm almost convinced that it's not necessarily the big things that stress us out, but perhaps the LITTLE THINGS.

Okay, so I've made my point with ALL CAPS, so I'll move on. No, seriously, think about it in terms of a computer analogy. Most people allow a bunch of small files to slowly collect on their computer's hard drive, until the damned thing can't do anything but turn on and shut down. The computer runs all right for awhile, but eventually it goes kersplat.

Computer peeps may not agree with me, but it serves my point, so I'll continue. People spend too much time worrying about getting the oil changed, changing the address for the credit cards when they move, throwing out that container in the fridge that has become so overgrown with mold that you could barely remember what it was in the first place.

Without sounding - or trying to sound - too much like a motivational speaker (I hate those people - sorry if you are one), I'd like to suggest that you 'clear out your hard drive'. Write down every single thing that you can think of which needs to be done. And then do them.

All right. Now that that's out of my system, we can move on. Sorry. I'll be back to blog later on today (hopefully)!

Oxygen Kills

Hey everybody. The pickins on my blogs have been pretty slim lately, so I really should give you something to savor. That I don't really have anything going on is the problem. Nothing really crazy, anyway. I'm still editing the first book and beginning to outline the fourth book. Did I mention that it's going to be a detective novel set in a zombie-ravaged apocalypse? Anyway, who even knows IF I'll get to start it at the rate that I'm editing the first book.

Here's a little taste of the first book, just to let you know that I'm actually writing something and not just lying to your faces:

Today was a Stan Getner day. There were exceptions – a blonde girl in pink pajamas raving about the newest Jack Johnson record, jock broadcast majors taking bets on the first football game, stoners discussing how to roll a really tight joint, a sorority vixen complaining about the difficulty of studying when all she did was party – but for the most part, people discussed Stan Getner. It wasn’t everyday that the star baseball player – in his senior season, no less – got stabbed in a bar parking lot. Peterson University was a mid-sized school, but it was small enough that when something horrific happened, it lingered for several months, sometimes years.

And the student body in the Howard Livingston III dormitory was enthralled with the Stan Getner fiasco. Even though it hadn’t been formally reported in either of the local papers – the city or the student one – the news of Stan Getner’s near death experience was already the stuff of legend.


LP and I played tag inside last night, but it was too easy so had to stop. We went to Wal-Mart right after, and this was at 10 o'clock. Wal-Mart is a creepy place that late, and I'm glad I made it out alive. You do not want any part of that.

Other than that, I've only been working and nothing really else. I hope to have something cool to talk about soon, but I feel so bad for not blogging that I have to post SOMETHING.

Anyway, I've loved the comments. Thanks, everybody. I'll post something awesome later, I promise.

Snozberries Taste Like Jury Trial

I am currently sitting on the floor of the new place, drinking a Leinenkugel, catching up on last night's episode of Big Love.

LP and I are in the new place, and it's wonderful. Once we finally get to unpack the camera, I'll try to put some new pics online. The only think I don't like about our apartment is the wallpaper in the kitchen; it's hideous. I'm sort of afraid to take a picture of it, because I think it might ruin the camera. The large bulbous things on the wall look like snozberries or something.

Other than that, everything is going well. I'm still going to the gym, though because of the move and other obligations, I've not been going as often. Other obligations include: a new job and JURY DUTY.

No, I'm not obligated to sit around and watch a shitty Pauly Shore movie. Wait, no, I'm sorry. That's too simple a joke. Any Pauly Shore joke is too easy, so I apologize. Furthermore, I should not refer to a 'shitty' Pauly Shore movie. It's an oxymoron.

Honestly, though, I've got jury duty and I actually got picked to be on the jury and everything, so that's exciting. I can't talk about the details right now, obviously, but suffice it to say that Michael Vick is a lot taller in person.

Just kidding.

I'm back, is what I'm trying to say, and I hope I never go away.

The Consequences of Being Unprepared

Finally, I have moved into my new place. I still have no cable or internet, but at least I am no longer homeless. There's nothing I would like more than to sit around and blog for about three days straight to catch up and make all of you happy.

However, the cable company has been inundated with people moving out/moving in and can't make it to our place until Sunday morning, between 8-10 am. Then I can check in with you guys. I'm excited. But it's true that LP and I have no cable. We've been watching all of the seasons of Friends for the last few days.

I missed Barry Bond's 756 home run. Damnit. I missed Big Love on Monday. I just generally haven't been in on the world. It's weird. I could go into some sort of meta-existential blog about how strange it is to live in the world and not the technological world, but I have no time. I'm on borrowed time here. I'll get back with you all on Sunday. Love ya.

[No Subject] - Advertising Is Way Out of Hand

Right now, my 70+ lb. German Shepherd is getting her ass kicked by a ten pound cat. What is the world coming to? Seriously, Ona, show us your heritage. It's proud!

(By the way, she's the big white one in the tub)

Anyway, back to subjects with substance. You know, I get so sick and tired of advertising. Seriously. It's everywhere, man. I feel bombarded by it on a daily basis, and there's not a spot in the world that won't be sponsored someday in the future.

Isn't that a scary thought?

This is the Kotex Field of Cowshit in Butte, Montana. Or the Budweiser Electric Chair in EverypartofTexasever, Texas.

And so on and so forth. I wish I could satirize it, but alas I'm not a satirist...yet.

I am angry, however, and that makes for a good read, doesn't it? Advertising sucks. Especially when I'm trying to watch a movie and everything is pushed so nonchalantly, as if to say, "Oh we didn't mean to have this certain goddamn soda can in the middle of the frame."

If you don't think so, remember the movie Spider-Man. When he's in his room and trying to figure out how to be a web-slinger. He tries to pull what from the counter? A Dr. Pepper can.

If you don't believe it's the truth, check out the tie-ins for the movie. Hmmm. Dr. Pep-per. Interesting.

I know I know. It's not that important. But it is. Just think: there are guys out there literally trying to figure out ways to put advertising in every single spot on the earth. And I'm not even joking. The other day at the mall, there was advertising on the f**king elevator. I wish it were just a sci-fi story, but it's the truth.

And it sucks.

The reason I'm spewing venom - not Venom (ha!) - about this is the recent movie, Transformers. Let me qualify what I'm saying by admitting that I did like the movie. A lot. So that's not the problem.

Actually...there is no problem. So what if there was a lot of GM advertisement in the movie? Huh? Wasn't the whole cartoon series one thirty-minute-long goddamned commercial? Isn't that why they killed off Optimus Prime in the original cartoon movie and made me so cynical today? It's a vicious cycle. They killed off Prime to make up new action figures to take his place.

But they can't. They can't replace Optimus Prime. And I spent so much of my childhood wondering why the Goodest of Good Guys - hey, I was six - could get taken away from me in the first ten minutes of the movie, only to never be brought back.

Advertising. Adver-f**king-tising is to blame. It's why I'm the neurotic prick that I am today. Just remember that when you get tired of it too. And it will happen. Oh yes. It will happen.

I Know You Missed Me

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to the Blog, but I just haven't had the TIME!!!! The world is speeding up, and I've got to run just to keep up. The house is a mess, and for once it's not because I'm just too lazy to clean it. I'm gearing up to move, and books and DVDs and boxes of this and that are strewn about, and it's driving me crazy. I don't move for another few weeks, but I can't help but start the process. Every time before now, I've been caught at the last minute trying to move stuff, and it becomes a bungled mess.

The above picture is me. Gross, huh? No, that's not one of my better pics, but it's one of the newer ones. It was taken, not during a cooking competition, but during one of my last bits of beer-making. The brew is done, and it is NOT fantastic! No, it's pretty good, but I think I may have done something slightly wrong, because it has no aftertaste whatsoever. Which is good, I guess, if you don't like beer. Isn't the aftertaste what most people despise?

Also, I guess I should follow-up on the Wii-Talk. Yes, I did get the Wii. I had a lost weekend. I did nothing but play video games, and it was AWESOME! We called it Party Wii-kend - get it - and we drank lots of beer, ate lots of pizza, and played many many hours of Wii. I've already used up the batteries in one of the controllers.

One of the best things about the Wii is that you can download old NES and SNES games and play them. It's great. I no longer have to drudge out my old NES when I want to play Castlevania; I can just play it on my Wii! The only problem is that there are only a few REALLY GREAT games right now. Most of them are ehhh, just all right games. Which is okay. But I'm waiting for Super Mario Bros. 3 to be released. Boy, that brings back memories.

Check out the slideshow of our last beer-making expo. It is below, and it is glorious.

Nintendo Wii - My White Whale

Tonight, I'm huntin' me a Wii. There are hundreds - maybe thousands - of other hunters out there, but I've got my wallet and my F5 button ready.

Holy shit! My bid has just been maxed out. I feel like another cl...Damnit, I didn't even get a chance to finish this sentence before someone outbid me and the auction ended. Goddamnit.



This is a terribly cutthroat business, getting a Wii. I thought there would be enough game for all of us, but I must have been mistaken.

Granted, Nintendo hasn't been up on manufacturing. Hell, maybe they were down on themselves as well on this one. Like, "Well, we're not charging a million bucks for a video game system, so nobody loves us." Mmmmmm.

So I guess I'll just have to bid on another...wait. Wait just a second. I just checked my eBay account, and it said that I had to pay for an item.

Oh, crap! I accidentally won a Nintendo Wii! But wait, that doesn't make any sense. It said that I got outbid on it. It said that I lost. There was a distinct screen in which I was beaten.

*shrugs* Oh well. You know what? I'll take it! Any day of the week, I'll take it. I paid about twenty bucks more than I was willing to pay on it, but I'll definitely accept it. I know I've been trying to get my finances back in order, but I've got the moolah for a Wii. Totally worth it. Totally worth it. Be happy for me guys. I'll be Wii Sportin' it in a few days!

An Update on Life

Working 60-hour weeks doesn't lend itself to blogging, so I haven't been in the blogosphere a lot lately. I can only shrug. It's the way the cookie crook crumbles sometimes.

But I have been participatin in plenty of things lately. First of all, tonight I taste the beer that I made a little under a month ago. It still feels premature, but I'm hoping that it's carbonated enough for me to enjoy (or at least not be embarrassed in front of the friends who helped me make it).

Invariably, the beer in the picture is not my beer. It is only there for emphasis. I wish the beer I made could look like that. It would be a miracle.

So, beyond brewing and working, I'm reading Richard Dawkins's great book, The God Delusion. Relax. I'm not joining the Church of Satan or anything. Religion interests me, and I can't help but be enamored by someone who is so arrogantly anti-religion. It's a natural progression. I went to an extreme place growing up - think people speaking in tongues and going to church four days a week - and it soured on me.

However, I did cringe when he said:

The only difference between The Bible in the Da Vinci Code is that The Bible is ancient fiction and the Da Vinci Code is modern fiction.

Ouch. Right?

In addition, I've been going to the gym pretty much every day, and I like the results. I like them so much that I think I might try to run a half-marathon...in the Fall.

Yeah, I don't have the endurance or the willpower to try to run a full marathon - like a real runner would - but I can try to be half of what I'm supposed to be. I guess.

And if you've ever experienced a summer in Georgia, you'd know why they don't have those things down here then. It would result in murder and lawsuits and all sorts of clandesting activity. The heat down here is just mean!

But I do enjoy jogging - I have my 'outfit' on right now - and today I'm going to try to get to 6 miles. I figure that if I can build my endurance until about October, I should be in good shape for a half-marathon. Or a pretend marathon. Whichever one comes along first. Cheers.

3rd Novel - Done as Dillinger

Well, I've finally done it. The third book is officially in the bag, and I've got to say that I'm really proud of it. It's much better than the second book's first draft - so far as I can tell - and I can't wait to take a look at it in several weeks, once it's had a chance to mellow out.

Tentatively titled The Marquis Man, the book is about a serial killer who torments the city of Atlanta by murdering women in extreme ways and who doesn't count on the fact that a criminal gunman becomes enamored with his latest soon-to-be victim.

It's a cat-and-mouse story, with the two of them playing off each other very well for being such similar people in certain ways. I like it. The second draft, hopefully, will be better.

But I'm one step closer to the dream. And I love it! Thanks for all of your support so far, guys. I really, really, truly appreciate it. Don't give up on me. Now that I'm done, I have more time to read your blogs!

As always, you can read my short fiction by clicking on the banner below to Writers Cafe. I encourage it, but hey, I'm not being pushy.

The Sopranos

Okay, so I hate to make a second blog about the Sopranos in a row - and being as I haven't blogged since last Sunday, it's awful - but I have to.

There's no doubt that the final episode will be good and great (and possibly extremely disappointing, if Tony dies) and anything short of my own death could not keep me from watching the show. I don't think I was even this pumped up about the Seinfeld or Andy Barker, PI series finales.

Just kidding.

'The Sopranos' changed everything for me. I'll never be able to watch t.v. the same way again. And I could go into what has happened in the series - it would take a long f*cking time - but I'm not going to.

I found a video to do it for me! This is a seven minute video explaining the series, up to the beginning of the final season. It's an absolutely fantastic video, well-done and everything. I hope you enjoy it.



It took me watching this video to realize just how much crap goes on in the show. There are so many open ends that may never get resolved. Hell, won't ever get resolved.

And I love that. It's how life goes. Not everything gets resolved in life, especially not in a way that pays off something that happened earlier. Although I kind of wish it would. Would make you think about what you're doing, wouldn't it?

But anyway, tonight's the final episode. Ever. The finality of it sort of makes me sad, the same way that the thought of dying sort of makes me sad. Sort of. Well, you just have to remember: I've invested several years of my life with these 'people'.

As you can see, I don't take my television lightly. I don't want the Sopranos to end. There's so much more that could happen. Hmmm. Maybe not, now that I think of it. Bobby's dead. Sylvio's dead (or dying).

It only begs the question of what is going to happen tonight? The only logical solution, it seems is that Tony should die. Why? Why is it that he should die? It would not necessarily be a full-circle for the man. He's always come out on top, no matter the situation.

Why does it have to be that he dies? Personally, I have a feeling that Pauly will try to kill Tony, because I think he's the turncoat for New York. He's a smug little piece of s**t, and it just seems like something he would do.

What's so great about the show is that it's open-ended. There are so many ways the show could end. It's not leading you in any one direction. God, it's so Good!

'The Sopranos' is more than just a television ending. It's a cultural event. Jeez, man, I'm a nerd!

The Sopranos - One Note Left to Play

Bobby's dead.

Plain and simple. I haven't even had any time to reflect upon it. I don't know what to think. And with just one episode left, it's hard to know what to think.

The show doesn't uplift it's characters. Dying in a train shop. There's not a more uneventful way to die. That's not dramatized. It was just his death and boom, that was it.

Christopher's dead. Syl's in the hospital. Somehow, Pauly's still alive. Who would have thought that?

Anyway, I'm still in shock.

'Knocked Up' is a Great Horror Movie

Anyone who's ever had sex knows that the potential of getting someone pregnant is horrifying. Which is why 'Knocked Up' works in a gallows humor sort of way.

The plot is simple: a guy and a girl meet at a club and get pregnant after having sex...once. Hilarity ensues.

Larry Munson, voice of the Georgia Bulldawgs, who also has his own movie club here in Athens, wonders how 'the people in Hollywood ever came up with such a movie. Twenty years ago, even, they couldn't have done this.' Funny.

Only, 'Knocked Up' isn't some cutesy, what-do-we-do-with-an-unexpected-pregnancy sort of movie. It is and it isn't. The movie has a certain amount of verisimilitude and gut-wrenchingly awkward moments. The laughs are genuine and the angsty parts aren't contrived. That's very hard to find in movies today.

Especially the arguments. They get f*cking brutal. Judd Apatow really has a hold on 'adult' sexual comedies. WHile most movies pander to the lowest common denominator for comic effect, Apatow uses those low-brow moments to reinforce the stronger parts of the movie. He's not pandering, and he chose a great leading man for the movie in Seth Rogen.

The funniest movie this year so far. By far, I'd say. And I'm debating on thinking it funnier than '40 Year Old Virgin'. That, my friends, is a tall order.

A Quick Rundown of the World

Paris is going to jail, and some people seem to think that it's because people dislike her. Rob Sheffield, of Rolling Stone, writes that "Sending Paris Hilton to jail for being the most loathed celeprosy lesion in the history of the species seems like a happening idea at first [. . .] But it sets a dangerous precedent to jail celebs just because someone hates them."

What? Am I wrong, or did Paris drive without her license? Hmmm. If she went to jail for people hating her, wouldn't she already be there? She's already done enough things to warrant it, don't you think?

This week on Telebisshon, watch FOX's On the Lot, where wannabe filmmakers argue with each other for an hour and hope to become megastars (which they probably won't). 5/29 @ 9 PM. Or, on the History Channel, you can watch a show called STAR WARS: The Legacy. 'Nuff Said. 5/28 @ 9 PM.

There's a new minstrel show in town. I'd heard of Shirley Q. Liquor before - a gay white man in blackface, no less - but I thought it was just some underground nonsense. It's come to the attention of the nation, now, and a huge debate has sparked over it. How is this not considered a modern minstrel show? Being a gay dude doesn't excuse him from getting onstage and singing "The 12 Days of Kwanzaa".

Sample Lyric:

On the eleventh day of Kwanzaa...
I got out on parole. I rolled a big joint, went down
to church and talked all out of my head. Got happy and
shouted, passed out and hollered. They called 911 and
the Lord set me free! Gave my testimony, stepped on
home, didn't even remember where I stayed, I woke up
real hungry and confused. LORD

I've also included a performance of the song here, as well. Now, I'll get into the debate over its impact and potential racism/not racism (Chuck Knipp, the character's creator, swears that it is not).



Captain Jack Sparrow and his gang are going crazy at the box-office, taking in $57 million domestically and another $85.5 million overseas in its first day! It will probably hit the 140 million mark, but that's not all.


Think of it, people: It's Memorial Day Weekend. It might even hit 150 or so, if ticket sales on Monday are comparable to this weekend's numbers. A few of the cast members have voiced an unwillingness to push the franchise forward, but, then again, with such a great opening box-office draw, how would they be able to turn it down? The studio would be able to pay them millions and millions more for reprising their roles, even if for just one more movie.

And, just to let everyone know, the Democrats are wimps. They got elected to help make the mess in Iraq better, and so far they haven't had the collateral to do anything at all. There's an old adage that goes, "To get out of a hole, first you've got to stop digging." With the way the Dems are running things, I don't know that it will be possible until 2008, if not later.

Keith Olberman said, in a special comment on his show "Countdown":

Few men or women elected in our history—whether executive or legislative, state or national—have been sent into office with a mandate more obvious, nor instructions more clear:

Get us out of Iraq.

Yet after six months of preparation and execution—half a year gathering the strands of public support; translating into action, the collective will of the nearly 70 percent of Americans who reject this War of Lies, the Democrats have managed only this:

The Democratic leadership has surrendered to a president—if not the worst president, then easily the most selfish, in our history—who happily blackmails his own people, and uses his own military personnel as hostages to his asinine demand, that the Democrats “give the troops their money”;

He goes on to say more, but alas, this is a blog and not an encyclopedia, so I must go now. Thanks for checking in.

Pro-Life Dog-Fighting Rings

Now, I must admit that I'm currying favor with the picture to the right of this post. It would be disingenuous for me not to admit that. Only Michael Moore would not.

Okay, so this story is going to be very, very strange, so try to keep up. And, for reference's sake, Michael Vick, quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, might have been involved in a vicious dog-fighting ring. Okay. Now.

The radio hosts on ESPN Radio - all of them - talked about the issue today in great detail, calling anyone involved in dog-fighting despicable and mentioning that it's a felony in most states.

Well, a fellow employee of mine much higher up on the food chain walked by as the topic was being discussed and - I suppose because we're on different ends of the political spectrum - asked me, "Now why is there a law against dog-fighting?"

Do no mistake me: the man in question is extremely intelligent and was only being semi-obtuse here, so don't scoff yet. I told him I thought it was obvious. He then explained that he agreed that it was horrendous, but then he countered that he didn't think the federal government should get involved if two people wanted to fight their dogs.

I told him that I would have to think about a justification for why I thought it was a law. It seemed a pretty cool challenge, and I came up with the example of incest. I thought that certainly he would agree that, though one should be pretty much allowed to do what he wants as long as it did not harm another being, certain legislation is led by social mores and is not necessarily the fault of the federal government.

Now, when I mentioned that position to him later, telling him that you couldn't marry, say, your mother if you wanted to, he said: "But you should be able to."

Now, I have to admit that this caught me off-guard. It shouldn't have, but it did. It was a strictly philosophical and tactical maneuver. He then likened what I'd said earlier to the abortion argument, which I also should have seen coming. He told me that, if I defended abortion, which I do, that I was putting a dog's life above a human being's.

When I explained that I didn't and that I didn't think that in the first trimester a bundle of cells was a human being, much as an acorn is not an acorn tree, he persisted in telling me that if a woman can kill a bundle of cells bound to become a human, then a man should be able to kill a dog.

Well, perhaps it was a segue into talking about legislation, because he then said that he didn't agree with abortion but that a woman should have the right to do it. Because he's an absolutist in liberties, I presume. His main point was that basically nothing doing with a person's choices should or could be legislated.

Now, I'm aware that it was an overarching challenge on the belief in abortion - which ranks low on my scale of necessities in politics - but I could tell he thought he'd won. Truth be told, I don't really care. Somone so staunchly anti-government wouldn't accept less as an answer. Because there's no way to prove why there should be federal regulation. There just really is not a decent argument to say, "Well, yeah, why? Why should this be a law or this be a law? Why should it be legislated?" It's frustrating.

See how this really had nothing to do with dog-fighting whatsoever? I give up.

Savings Accounts, Roth IRAs, Growing Up, Oh My!

So I think I'm finally starting to grow up a little bit, and although it's going to be beneficial to my future, I'm not quite sure how it happened. One day I was trying to figure out how to buy all of the seasons of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD and still have money for beer, and the next I'm talking about opening a 5.05% savings account with HSBC and discussing the tax benefits of starting a Roth IRA versus a traditional one.

Wow. Life comes at you fast.

Moreover, I've been contemplating saving for a house. It's one of the reasons I started the high-yield savings account. I even impressed my boss with my savings-savvy.

And it only took me twenty-five years to get this far. I'm what psychologists like to call a "late bloomer". It usually happens with kids who have affluent parents. They continue to leech off of their parents until either A) the parents cut them off or B) they wake up and realize, "Hey, I'm a f**king loser!"

Option B) very rarely happens.

It wasn't the case with me. I leeched off myself for far too long, ignoring that there is such a thing as a future and that I should be planning for it.

So I think I'm slowly freeing myself from the state of arrested development I've been in my entire life, and I'm happy. I used to be very anti-establishment, like, Hey, leave all the money-saving to bankers on Wall Street. Just give me METAL!

Now, I've realized just how dumb it was to just blow all of my money because I wanted to enjoy it.

And, to be honest, understanding markets and percentages and stuff really isn't that bad. In fact, I'm kind of enjoying this new knowledge.

90,000 Words in the Third Novel

Tonight I hit the coveted 300-page mark in the third novel - tentatively titled "Beast of Burden" - and also the 90,000 word mark. Simultaneously. I'm stoked!

It appears as though the book might be another hundred pages or so, but don't fret. It's paced well, and I'm thinking that it's the best book I've written thus far.

Besides, there being a "Bratz" movie coming out this summer gives me hope that SOMEWHERE there is a market for my writing. I mean, if Paris Hilton can get a recording contract, then maybe. . .oh, well, nevermind. I guess I'm not a millionaire heiress now am I?

The Vampire Guide Mar 23, 2007 - May 1, 2007 Win $500.00, 2nd Place: $200.00, 3rd Place: $50.00

The results still haven't come through on the "Vampire Guide" Writing Contest, but I'm still optimistic. I found out this morning that, were I to win, I'd get $500 and an article on the front page of the web site.

Despite that, you can read my work - as always - at Writerscafe. Click on the link below. You can read my story "Hostile Takeover", which, I'm hoping, is going to win the Vampire Guide Contest. It's pretty good.



Let me know what you think about my writing. I'm always glad to get criticism.

- T. Blake Braddy

I've Been Tagged (By Jackson Pollock)

I know. Sounds freaky, doesn't it?

Um, I got tagged for a linky-thingy - what are they called - in which you draw a "Pollock" from the web site and then post it on your site and tag people.

Obviously, I'm a moron to not be able to do this.

But - hey - I can get away with that, right? You, too, can create your own Pollock painting at Jacksonpollock.org

I'm going to tag other people in hopes that they might be able to help me not be stupid. I would post my painting, but since I don't know how to save it and post it, you'll just have to trust me that it's great!

Who is tagged?

Tink, over at Pickled Beef
Fiwa, over at Every Day is Friday Eve
Klyde-Lanta, Over at Klyde-Lanta(Post, damn you!)
Claire, Over at ClaiderBaider Methodology
Brian, over at Textual Amusement

Hope you guys enjoy it.