A Quick Rundown of the World

Paris is going to jail, and some people seem to think that it's because people dislike her. Rob Sheffield, of Rolling Stone, writes that "Sending Paris Hilton to jail for being the most loathed celeprosy lesion in the history of the species seems like a happening idea at first [. . .] But it sets a dangerous precedent to jail celebs just because someone hates them."

What? Am I wrong, or did Paris drive without her license? Hmmm. If she went to jail for people hating her, wouldn't she already be there? She's already done enough things to warrant it, don't you think?

This week on Telebisshon, watch FOX's On the Lot, where wannabe filmmakers argue with each other for an hour and hope to become megastars (which they probably won't). 5/29 @ 9 PM. Or, on the History Channel, you can watch a show called STAR WARS: The Legacy. 'Nuff Said. 5/28 @ 9 PM.

There's a new minstrel show in town. I'd heard of Shirley Q. Liquor before - a gay white man in blackface, no less - but I thought it was just some underground nonsense. It's come to the attention of the nation, now, and a huge debate has sparked over it. How is this not considered a modern minstrel show? Being a gay dude doesn't excuse him from getting onstage and singing "The 12 Days of Kwanzaa".

Sample Lyric:

On the eleventh day of Kwanzaa...
I got out on parole. I rolled a big joint, went down
to church and talked all out of my head. Got happy and
shouted, passed out and hollered. They called 911 and
the Lord set me free! Gave my testimony, stepped on
home, didn't even remember where I stayed, I woke up
real hungry and confused. LORD

I've also included a performance of the song here, as well. Now, I'll get into the debate over its impact and potential racism/not racism (Chuck Knipp, the character's creator, swears that it is not).



Captain Jack Sparrow and his gang are going crazy at the box-office, taking in $57 million domestically and another $85.5 million overseas in its first day! It will probably hit the 140 million mark, but that's not all.


Think of it, people: It's Memorial Day Weekend. It might even hit 150 or so, if ticket sales on Monday are comparable to this weekend's numbers. A few of the cast members have voiced an unwillingness to push the franchise forward, but, then again, with such a great opening box-office draw, how would they be able to turn it down? The studio would be able to pay them millions and millions more for reprising their roles, even if for just one more movie.

And, just to let everyone know, the Democrats are wimps. They got elected to help make the mess in Iraq better, and so far they haven't had the collateral to do anything at all. There's an old adage that goes, "To get out of a hole, first you've got to stop digging." With the way the Dems are running things, I don't know that it will be possible until 2008, if not later.

Keith Olberman said, in a special comment on his show "Countdown":

Few men or women elected in our history—whether executive or legislative, state or national—have been sent into office with a mandate more obvious, nor instructions more clear:

Get us out of Iraq.

Yet after six months of preparation and execution—half a year gathering the strands of public support; translating into action, the collective will of the nearly 70 percent of Americans who reject this War of Lies, the Democrats have managed only this:

The Democratic leadership has surrendered to a president—if not the worst president, then easily the most selfish, in our history—who happily blackmails his own people, and uses his own military personnel as hostages to his asinine demand, that the Democrats “give the troops their money”;

He goes on to say more, but alas, this is a blog and not an encyclopedia, so I must go now. Thanks for checking in.

Pro-Life Dog-Fighting Rings

Now, I must admit that I'm currying favor with the picture to the right of this post. It would be disingenuous for me not to admit that. Only Michael Moore would not.

Okay, so this story is going to be very, very strange, so try to keep up. And, for reference's sake, Michael Vick, quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, might have been involved in a vicious dog-fighting ring. Okay. Now.

The radio hosts on ESPN Radio - all of them - talked about the issue today in great detail, calling anyone involved in dog-fighting despicable and mentioning that it's a felony in most states.

Well, a fellow employee of mine much higher up on the food chain walked by as the topic was being discussed and - I suppose because we're on different ends of the political spectrum - asked me, "Now why is there a law against dog-fighting?"

Do no mistake me: the man in question is extremely intelligent and was only being semi-obtuse here, so don't scoff yet. I told him I thought it was obvious. He then explained that he agreed that it was horrendous, but then he countered that he didn't think the federal government should get involved if two people wanted to fight their dogs.

I told him that I would have to think about a justification for why I thought it was a law. It seemed a pretty cool challenge, and I came up with the example of incest. I thought that certainly he would agree that, though one should be pretty much allowed to do what he wants as long as it did not harm another being, certain legislation is led by social mores and is not necessarily the fault of the federal government.

Now, when I mentioned that position to him later, telling him that you couldn't marry, say, your mother if you wanted to, he said: "But you should be able to."

Now, I have to admit that this caught me off-guard. It shouldn't have, but it did. It was a strictly philosophical and tactical maneuver. He then likened what I'd said earlier to the abortion argument, which I also should have seen coming. He told me that, if I defended abortion, which I do, that I was putting a dog's life above a human being's.

When I explained that I didn't and that I didn't think that in the first trimester a bundle of cells was a human being, much as an acorn is not an acorn tree, he persisted in telling me that if a woman can kill a bundle of cells bound to become a human, then a man should be able to kill a dog.

Well, perhaps it was a segue into talking about legislation, because he then said that he didn't agree with abortion but that a woman should have the right to do it. Because he's an absolutist in liberties, I presume. His main point was that basically nothing doing with a person's choices should or could be legislated.

Now, I'm aware that it was an overarching challenge on the belief in abortion - which ranks low on my scale of necessities in politics - but I could tell he thought he'd won. Truth be told, I don't really care. Somone so staunchly anti-government wouldn't accept less as an answer. Because there's no way to prove why there should be federal regulation. There just really is not a decent argument to say, "Well, yeah, why? Why should this be a law or this be a law? Why should it be legislated?" It's frustrating.

See how this really had nothing to do with dog-fighting whatsoever? I give up.

Savings Accounts, Roth IRAs, Growing Up, Oh My!

So I think I'm finally starting to grow up a little bit, and although it's going to be beneficial to my future, I'm not quite sure how it happened. One day I was trying to figure out how to buy all of the seasons of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD and still have money for beer, and the next I'm talking about opening a 5.05% savings account with HSBC and discussing the tax benefits of starting a Roth IRA versus a traditional one.

Wow. Life comes at you fast.

Moreover, I've been contemplating saving for a house. It's one of the reasons I started the high-yield savings account. I even impressed my boss with my savings-savvy.

And it only took me twenty-five years to get this far. I'm what psychologists like to call a "late bloomer". It usually happens with kids who have affluent parents. They continue to leech off of their parents until either A) the parents cut them off or B) they wake up and realize, "Hey, I'm a f**king loser!"

Option B) very rarely happens.

It wasn't the case with me. I leeched off myself for far too long, ignoring that there is such a thing as a future and that I should be planning for it.

So I think I'm slowly freeing myself from the state of arrested development I've been in my entire life, and I'm happy. I used to be very anti-establishment, like, Hey, leave all the money-saving to bankers on Wall Street. Just give me METAL!

Now, I've realized just how dumb it was to just blow all of my money because I wanted to enjoy it.

And, to be honest, understanding markets and percentages and stuff really isn't that bad. In fact, I'm kind of enjoying this new knowledge.

90,000 Words in the Third Novel

Tonight I hit the coveted 300-page mark in the third novel - tentatively titled "Beast of Burden" - and also the 90,000 word mark. Simultaneously. I'm stoked!

It appears as though the book might be another hundred pages or so, but don't fret. It's paced well, and I'm thinking that it's the best book I've written thus far.

Besides, there being a "Bratz" movie coming out this summer gives me hope that SOMEWHERE there is a market for my writing. I mean, if Paris Hilton can get a recording contract, then maybe. . .oh, well, nevermind. I guess I'm not a millionaire heiress now am I?

The Vampire Guide Mar 23, 2007 - May 1, 2007 Win $500.00, 2nd Place: $200.00, 3rd Place: $50.00

The results still haven't come through on the "Vampire Guide" Writing Contest, but I'm still optimistic. I found out this morning that, were I to win, I'd get $500 and an article on the front page of the web site.

Despite that, you can read my work - as always - at Writerscafe. Click on the link below. You can read my story "Hostile Takeover", which, I'm hoping, is going to win the Vampire Guide Contest. It's pretty good.



Let me know what you think about my writing. I'm always glad to get criticism.

- T. Blake Braddy

I've Been Tagged (By Jackson Pollock)

I know. Sounds freaky, doesn't it?

Um, I got tagged for a linky-thingy - what are they called - in which you draw a "Pollock" from the web site and then post it on your site and tag people.

Obviously, I'm a moron to not be able to do this.

But - hey - I can get away with that, right? You, too, can create your own Pollock painting at Jacksonpollock.org

I'm going to tag other people in hopes that they might be able to help me not be stupid. I would post my painting, but since I don't know how to save it and post it, you'll just have to trust me that it's great!

Who is tagged?

Tink, over at Pickled Beef
Fiwa, over at Every Day is Friday Eve
Klyde-Lanta, Over at Klyde-Lanta(Post, damn you!)
Claire, Over at ClaiderBaider Methodology
Brian, over at Textual Amusement

Hope you guys enjoy it.

Nintendo 64 YAY!

I found this really interesting video, and I thought you might like it. This is exactly how I acted when I got my Nintendo 64. Not.

Entourage - A Teenager's Dream

Entourage is really a great show, and I've always associated it with shows like The Sopranos, which, at times, can be extremely violent and filthy.

Thinking back on it, I don't know why I thought that. Entourage is nothing more than a (male) teenager's fantasy. I mean, what guy watches that show and then doesn't want to A) be a movie star or B) have a friend who is a movie star and be a member of his posse.

There's a lot of profanity, but so what? It's intended for adults. And, I don't think that it's excessive. Then again, I don't really think that any show has an excessive amount of cursing.

No violence, unless you count Johnny Drama nailing a dude in the face during a scuffle with Seth Green's own entourage. No nudity, as far back as I can remember. There are lots of girls in bikinis, but that's no different than, say, CSI: Miami. Not that I've ever watched that show.

So what it comes down to is perception. Because it's on HBO, I - and many other people - think that it's inherently a bawdy program. But it's not. I'll repeat: it's a teenage fantasy wrapped up in a big budget.

And I love it.

I only hope that it's able to stick around for a few more seasons. That's the one problem of HBO shows. It takes around ten years for a six-year program to air. See The Sopranos. Entourage has already begun doing the cryptic Season ?/Part 1/2 thing. Which is what Sex & the City, among other shows, did as they finished up.

Of course, I hope this isn't the case with our friends out in Cali.

Tina Fey is the Real Victim Here

This is the Reason His Daughter Won't Speak to Him

Someone pretty please make sure that Alec Baldwin gets some satisfaction in the custody battle for his - "12, or 11," as he puts it - year-old child, Ireland. Kim Basinger. Yes, you. Fellow Georgian. QUIT IT! Leave Alec alone, or at least tell Ireland to call him once in a while. The two of you play nice with Baldwin.

Why?

Because I love "30 Rock." I want to see the show on the air for another few years. You know how hard it is to find sitcoms that are actually funny these days? I would sell your children into slavery to make sure that Alec Baldwin stays on "30 Rock." To me, it's just that damn funny.

According to the NY Times,

Alec Baldwin said on “The View” yesterday that he wanted to quit that NBC sitcom to write a book about “parental alienation.”

Come on. Even Carrot Top wouldn't make that joke. In either case, it's not funny, even though I doubt that Baldwin is joking.

So he called his kid a incosiderate pig. At least he didn't call her a pig f**ker. That would have been overboard.

Besides, how many of you watch "30 Rock?" It's Tina Fey's finest hour. I think it would be horrific if the show were to tank without it being her fault. So, I think it goes without saying, Tina Fey is the real victim in this whole mess.



You should be ashamed of yourselves for blasting Baldwin so badly. Nice alliteration, huh? He's only a pawn in the right-wing media's scheme to end good television and replace it all with CSI spinoffs.

Don't you get it? Liberal actors make for great shows. Not in all cases, but isn't Alec Baldwin the poster boy for everything that (Republicans think) is wrong with America? Are you going to let them ruin a great show and put such a talented writer on her ass?

Also, Tracy Morgan-Jordan is fantastic on the show. There's not a better racial satire on television. Are you a racist? Okay, then, support Alec Baldwin and "30 Rock." Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan-Jordan.Or it will be all your fault.

Fall of the House of Soprano - Future of HBO

Needless to say - or maybe not, if you don't know me - the Sopranos is one of my favorite television shows ever. If not for kick-ass comedies like Arrested Development, perhaps it would be my favorite show ever.

But, sadly, the Reign of the Sopranos is coming to an end, as the last episodes are winding down the series.

Which is fine. I expected this to happen someday. But, my question is: what is going to replace the Sopranos as the flagship show for HBO?

There has to be a franchise on which to hang the cable network's hat. The brand will only suffer if a similarly great show cannot take its place. The Sopranos and Sex & the City were the two shows that made HBO Television great. They were smart, hip, funny, YEARS ahead of their time.

And, in a few weeks, both of them will have gone the way of the dodo.

What's next? I like Big Love, but I honestly don't see it becoming the number 1 program on the network. It's a good idea, but it just doesn't have the ooomph that 'THE MODERN MAFIA' does, in reference to the Sopranos.

The truth is, you've got to have something epic to wave at the public, to say, "Look! This is the best we've got, and it's better than everyone else."

Entourage, too, is a good show, but not a leader for the company. Deadwood is gone. Rome is gone. Six Feet Under, kaputz. Same with Carnivale. Ditto Oz.

Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming back, too, for a sixth season, and I'm glad about that, but there has to be something else. What is going to be the big guy? The Wire? I don't think so.